


I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You

by Bat_Crap_Crazy



Category: zankie - Fandom
Genre: AU: If they had met in Florida instead, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-21 17:39:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 51,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8254652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bat_Crap_Crazy/pseuds/Bat_Crap_Crazy
Summary: This is an AU fictional story based on the idea of what if they didn't meet on Big Brother, but in Florida, since they lived so close to each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written a fanfic before. I wrote the first chapter and showed it to my Twitter twin. I was threatened that if I did not write it, and post it, my Twitter twin would come to my house and throw French Fries in my face. I didn't want to waste perfectly good French Fries.

            Frankie walked along the toy aisle trying to find the perfect prop. The taps on his shoes made happy little clicking sounds with each step. He had just left a dress rehearsal for the program for his dance class and still had on his costume. His Nonna had to stop by the store to pick up some diapers for his new baby sister and he had gotten permission to go to the toy department.

            His dance teacher, Mrs. Haynes, had given them a challenge. They were to come up with their own routine to present to the school in two months. Although he knew she would want him to be focusing on tomorrow’s performance, Frankie could do that routine in his sleep. His mind was already on the plans for his own routine. He wasn’t one to wait around until the last minute to start a project. He wanted it to be perfect. In the car he had began to plan how to incorporate a hula-hoop into his tap routine. He already knew what outfit he was going to wear—the one he had on: black sequined pants, with a plain black blazer. Instead of the button down white shirt though, he wanted to wear something glittery underneath it to make it really pop. If he knew how to make it stick, he would just cover his chest in glitter and call it a shirt. He grinned at himself for the thought.

            Staring at hula-hoops, he mentally eliminated most of them. He was torn between the orange one, which was glittery, and the pink and blue striped one. He wondered if he got it spinning fast enough if it would look like it turned purple. It would be cool if it did. He picked it up and gave it a twirl around his arm. Unconsciously, his feet began to tap along as he got lost in the thought of being on stage performing his very own dance.

            Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a tiny person slammed into Frankie’s legs. Frankie tried mightily to keep his balance but lost the fight and landed flat on his back. The tiny person climbed up his body, giggling. He was a toddler about two-years-old. He leaned against Frankie’s chest, and had a finger in his smiling mouth. He pulled the finger out of his mouth and touched Frankie’s cheek with it.

            “Priddy” he said, and then giggling, he buried his face in Frankie’s neck.

            Frankie laughed, reached over to wipe the slobber off of his cheek, and then rubbed the back of the child’s head. “Thanks buddy, maybe next time you should just clap your hands, okay?”

            The toddler abruptly sat up and clapped his hands.                          

            “Good job!” Frankie said with a smile. He got to his feet and extended his hand to the little boy, “Somebody is going to be so worried about you. Let’s go to the front of the store and have security help find your parents.”

            The little boy smiled at Frankie, and extended his arms, “Up!” he said.

            Frankie scooped the little boy up with a laugh. He started to walk away from the toy aisle when he was met with a frantic woman wearing only one shoe.

            “Zachary! You bad boy! You took off when Mommy wasn’t looking!” she fairly screamed before snatching the boy from Frankie’s arms.

            “He’s okay; I was going to take him to security…” Frankie began.

            “He never does things like this. He was drawn by the taps on your shoes. We can hear you all over the store. You’re not supposed to wear them on regular floors are you?” She said, frowning at Frankie.

            “It’s okay. They don’t hurt anything,” Frankie said, slightly puzzled at her reaction to him.

            “They are noisy, and disrupt other people,” she said as she lowered her son to the ground. She kept a firm grip on his upper arm as she walked away, pulling him behind her. The little boy turned around and gave Frankie a huge smile and waved at him.

            Frankie smiled and waved to the boy.

            Nonna came up to the side of him, “What was that all about?” she asked. Her tone sounded a bit angry.

            “I honestly don’t know. I found her little boy and I was going to help him, but she got mad at me. Maybe she thinks I am a kidnapper?” he offered, with a puzzled frown.

            Nonna set down the package of diapers, and pulled Frankie into a hug. She kissed the top of his head, “I’m sure she doesn’t think that. She was probably just scared. People can act mean when they are scared; it had nothing to do with you.” Frankie didn’t see the glare she gave to the woman’s retreating back.

            “So, have you decided what you want yet?” she asked, as a way to drop the subject.

            “I’m torn between the orange one because it has glitter, and the pink and blue one.” Frankie studied them for a second longer and gave a little shrug. “I don’t really like the color orange,” he said. He picked up the pink and blue striped one from the floor. “This is what I want.”

            “Are you sure? You won’t change your mind later?” she teased, knowing that Frankie was one that once his mind was made up, it was final.

            Frankie laughed, “I promise, Nonna. It will be the pink and blue, forever!”


	2. Chapter 2

            Frankie was lying under a tree in the park, reading a fantasy book. He looked up and checked on Ariana and her friends that were playing nearby. It was Ariana’s fifth birthday and Frankie had volunteered to take them all to the park after her birthday party. The little girls were happily playing some game with a ball that they had invented. He didn’t quite understand the rules, they seemed to make them up as they went along, but they were all happy and having fun. They had all dressed as princesses for Ari’s party and they reminded Frankie of fairies flittering around in the late afternoon sunshine. He smiled and went back to reading his book.

            After a short time, one of Ariana’s friends, Emily, came running over to him.

            “There is a mean boy and he took our ball! Ariana is trying to make him give it back.”

            Frankie quickly jumped to his feet. “Show me where they are,” he ordered. And he and Emily took off on the run.

            Emily led him behind a large, flowering bush that had obscured Frankie’s view earlier. Sure enough, there was Ariana, standing with her hands on her hips, giving a piece of her mind to a little boy, whom Frankie guessed to probably be in the second or third grade, who was grinning and holding the girls’ ball above his head.

            The boy spotted Frankie, and handed Ariana her ball and mumbled “Sorry”, to her. She stormed off, and the boy looked at Frankie and gave him a big, fake smile.

            “What? I gave it back. No harm, no foul,” he showed his empty hands and then gave Frankie a real grin.

            That smile seemed familiar to Frankie, but he couldn’t place it. He thought that the boy might be the brother of a friend or something.

            “What’s your name?” he asked the boy.

            “Zach.”

            “Zach what?”

            The boy looked down, sighed, and scratched at a place near his collarbone, “Why, are you going to call my mom? I gave the ball back, I even apologized; no reason to tell on me.”

            Frankie smiled, “No, I’m not going to tell on you. You look familiar and I thought I might know somebody in your family. Do you have an older brother or sister?”

            “No. It’s just me. And since you aren’t going to tell on me, it’s Rance. You weren’t trying to trick me into telling you, were you?”

            Frankie laughed. “No, I wasn’t trying to trick you.”

            “What are those weird things on your shoulders?” the boy asked pointing to Frankie’s costume.

            “They’re epaulets. I am dressed like Prince Charming,” Frankie explained.

            Zach looked confused. “Why are you dressed like that? It isn’t Halloween.”

            Frankie smiled. “Today is my sister’s birthday, and she and all her guests are dressed like princesses. I am dressed like a prince to fit in with the party.”

            “Oh,” Zach said, looking down. “Which one is your sister?”

            “It’s Ariana. The one that was trying to get the ball back.”

            “Oh,” he said. “I didn’t know it was her birthday,” he looked up at Frankie with true remorse in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to ruin her party. I was just teasing them. My mom set up a play date with the kids of one of her friend’s and I got bored and snuck off.”

            Frankie looked back to the little girls and saw that they were back to their game, happily playing as if nothing had happened. He turned back, smiled at the boy, and ruffled his hair. “I don’t think you ruined her birthday. You gave the ball back and apologized; it’s over now.”

            Zach looked back down and shook his head. “No, I did. I have to fix it,” he said as he reached up and tugged gently at the hair on the crown of his head, lost in thought. All of a sudden, moving so fast he almost looked like a blur to Frankie, Zach was on the move.

            He ran over to the nearest flower bed and snatched up handfuls of flowers. He took them to the little girls of the party and gave one each to the little girls, saving Ariana for last. To her he presented a huge bunch of flowers. The little girls all surrounded him, giving him hugs and pats on the back.

            He trotted back to Frankie with a big grin on his face, again triggering some unknown recognition in Frankie’s memory.

            “There, now I fixed it!” Zach happily exclaimed.

            “That was very nice Zach, but it is against the rules to pick flowers in the park,” Frankie informed him kindly.

            Zach fixed his eyes on Frankie’s and with a steady gaze, said, “Oh, I didn’t know that.”

            Frankie laughed. “Zach, you probably won’t understand this, but you have a terrible poker face.”

            “Is that one of those things ‘I will understand when I’m older’?” Zach asked.

            Frankie nodded, “Yeah, something like that.”

            “So, what’s your name?” Zach asked, in an attempt to change the subject.

            Frankie placed his left arm behind his back, and made a slight bow while extending his right hand, “I do apologize, Mr. Rance, for not introducing myself properly. I am Frankie Grande, at your service.”

            Zach shook Frankie’s hand, with a giggle. “You’re funny!”

            “Zachary!” There came a call from nearby.

            “Uh-oh. I’m in trouble; that’s my mom.” Zach said, ruefully.

            “You need to answer her. She is probably worried about you,” advised Frankie.

            Zach nodded, cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “Ma! Hey, Ma! I’m over here!”

            It didn’t take her long to locate him by his call.

            “Zachary, why did you sneak off? Ladonna and Lawrence are very upset. They think you don’t like them,” she scolded.

            “I don’t,” Zach answered honestly.

            “Nevertheless you have to be nice to them!” She said, then visibly startled when she noticed Frankie.

            “Hello Mrs. Rance, I am Frankie Grande. My little sister lost her ball and Zach helped us find it.” He said, and his eyes met Zach’s who was standing behind his mother. Zach shot him a huge smile of relief for not telling his mother that he was the reason Ariana had lost her ball.

            Mrs. Rance looked Frankie up and down, taking in every detail of his Prince Charming costume. “Well,” she breathed, “well, that’s nice. I’m glad he wasn’t being a problem.” She grabbed Zach by his upper arm and started to pull him away.

            After they had gotten merely a few feet away, he could hear Mrs. Rance scolding Zach.

            “What did I tell you about talking to strangers?”

            “He’s not a stranger, Ma. He is my friend Ariana’s brother. I’ve known them for ages!” Zach answered. He turned around and gave Frankie a huge grin and waved to him.

            Frankie smiled and waved back. He was suddenly hit with a very strong feeling of déjà vu. He knew he had lived this moment before. But when?

            He was scanning his memory but coming up blank and finally came to the conclusion that it must have been something he had seen in a movie. He focused his attention on the retreating backs of the Rances, surprised they had gotten so far in such a short amount of time. The amount of space between Frankie and them made them appear to be much smaller than they had been just a few moments ago.

            “Oh my God!” Frankie whispered to himself with a smile, “That’s the kid that bowled me over in Krestler’s Department store!” He chuckled at the memory. He gave a little shake of his head, “He hasn’t changed a bit.”


	3. Chapter 3

            As soon as the dismissal bell rang, Frankie sprinted from his seat and ran out of the building, straight to his car. He was out of the parking lot before the other kids had even left the building. With just a few more weeks left of school, most of the students were worried about finals. Not Frankie. He knew that he would ace his finals; he knew the material cold. He had already been accepted into the college of his choice, so his regular school wasn’t paramount in his mind. His upcoming performances at his dance school, now known as the “Haynes Center for Performance Arts” were his top priorities. Frankie started going there when he was in Kindergarten, and at that time, it was a dance school only. Over the years it has grown and now offered classes in all forms of performance art.

            As a senior, this would be his last recital there. If he dwelt too much on that fact, it made him sad. But on the other hand, he wanted to go out with a bang, so the fact that it was his last show there, added to the excitement. And to the stress. Mrs. Haynes had recently developed a class to teach the students how to MC an event. Frankie had worked hard and had excelled, far above the other students. Mrs. Haynes had given Frankie the role of the MC of the show—the first student to ever MC one of her shows. It was a great honor for Frankie.

            The show was featuring the senior students, of course the other students would be performing too, but the majority of the focus would be on the seniors. As it was, Frankie had the MC position, two group dance numbers, a solo dance performance, and a group musical number with Frankie singing a solo.

            He felt that he needed extra rehearsal time, in fact, if he could have, he would have just moved into the rehearsal studio and camped out there for the next two weeks. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck with his right hand. Ever since he had gotten his license, he had driven Ariana to and from school every day, but today he almost wished he had never started it. This morning Mommy had said she would call Ariana’s school and have her dismissed early so Frankie wouldn’t have to waste time waiting around for her. After today, and from now on, Mommy would pick Ariana up; but today she had a meeting that she couldn’t get out of.

            He reached over and slid a Madonna CD into the player. He turned the music up loud and sang along with it. It helped calm his nerves.

            He pulled into the closest parking spot to the entrance of the elementary school, and parked. He hurried out of the car and into the school. He almost ran to the office hoping that Ari would be already there. He opened the door and scanned the room. He found, to his disappointment, the only person present was a young boy sitting in one of the chairs against the far wall. He was bouncing the heel of his shoe against the leg of the chair to some internal rhythm.

            “Excuse me, but do you know where the receptionist is?” Frankie asked the boy.

            The boy shrugged without looking up from his hands in his lap. “I don’t know. She went to the bathroom a while ago. She must be pooping. There’s a lot of rank gut going around the school.”

            Whether it was because of his heightened nervous state, or the boy’s deadpan delivery, Frankie barked out a laugh.

            The boy startled, and looked up at Frankie with a huge grin. Frankie recognized him right away at the sight of his grin as the kid from Krestler’s, but he didn’t remember his name.

            “Hey, I know you! You are Ariana Grande’s brother! I see you pick her up every day. Cool car, man! I’m going to get me a Beemer just like that one day,” the boy said.

            “I’m sure you will. I’m picking her up early today because I have to get to rehearsal. I was hoping she would already be here waiting for me. No such luck though. I hope the receptionist comes back soon.”

            “Rehearsal for what?” the boy asked.

            “A recital for the Haynes Center for Performance Arts; it’s in two weeks. It is my final performance there, so it is a big deal to me.”

            “Cool,” the boy said, “What do you do?”

            “Sing, dance, act…a little bit of everything.”

            The boy nodded. “What kind of dancing do you do?”

            Frankie laughed, “Is this an interview? Contemporary, tap, jazz, ballet…”

            “Nope,” the boy interrupted, “My mom made me go to a ballet once. You have to be a bigger guy so you can lift up the girls. You don’t dance ballet.”

            Frankie was shocked at the audacity of the boy. “Of course I can dance ballet.”

            “Prove it!” the boy dared.

            “I can’t dance in here!” Frankie objected.

            “Why not? The room is big, and there is nobody here but us. Do it!”

            Frankie looked around quickly, just to make sure no one could see. He pulled off his backpack and laid it on a nearby chair, and walked to the center of the room. “Ready?” he asked.

            The boy grinned and nodded.

            Frankie executed a double pirouette and landed it perfectly in front of the boy.

            “Wow!” the boy whispered in awe.

            Frankie grinned, “That was a double.” He walked over, picked up his backpack, and slung it back on.

            “Wow” the boy said again.

            Frankie gave a small chuckle, “It was just a double!” He sat down in a chair, a couple away from the boy. “So, why are you in here?”

            “Same reason I’m always in here: ‘Disrupting the class’,” he said, making air quotes with his fingers.

            “What do you do to disrupt the class?”

            The boy sighed and gave a shrug, “I don’t know. It just takes everybody else so long to get things done, ya know? I have to sit there and wait. I get bored.”

            “Do you read?” Frankie asked.

            The boy looked at Frankie with a frown and then rolled his eyes, “Of course I can read! I am in the 5th grade!”

            Frankie gave a small laugh, “No, not ‘can you read’, but ‘do you read’. Like for fun?”

            “Reading’s not fun.”

            “Sure it is! If you find the right book, that is. Try this experiment. Go to the librarian and ask for help. Tell the librarian what kinds of things you are interested in. You will end up with a great book, one that you love. I promise. Then, when you are waiting for the others to finish their work, you can read in your book. No more visits to the principal’s office.”

            The boy shrugged, “Okay, I’ll try. Anything beats this,” he indicated the door to the principal’s inner office.

            The receptionist darted in from the hallway. Frankie noticed that she did indeed look pale.

            “I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting,” she said and picked up the phone. She pushed a button, then two numbers and waited for a second. “Mrs. Richmond, Ariana’s brother is here to pick her up for early dismissal. Please send her to the office.” She disconnected the call and then pushed a single button on the phone, “Mr. Stanley? Zach Rance is here again.”

            She hung up the receiver, and pointed to the inner door. “Mr. Stanley will see you now. I’m sure you remember the way.”

            Zach got up from his seat and walked to the inner door. He cast Frankie a grin before he walked in.

            The door from the hallway opened almost immediately and Ariana bounded in. “I thought you would be here way before now! What took you so long?”

            Frankie quickly stole a glance at the receptionist, and then said, “Sorry, traffic was bad. Let’s shake a leg!”

            They both stuck out a leg and shook it, laughing at the family joke, and then Frankie signed the sheet to release Ariana. They hurried out to the car and Ariana yelled, “I call shotgun!”


	4. Chapter 4

It was the last day of school and everybody was hyper and excited. Everybody, that is, except for Zach Rance. He had his head lying on his desk, sitting perfectly still. After a time, his teacher became concerned and she came and bent down next to him.

            “Are you okay, Zach? Do you need to go to see the nurse?”

            Zach just nodded.

            “Okay, I’ll write you a pass.”

            The nurse took Zach’s temperature and found it to be normal. “Where does it hurt?” she asked.

            Zach was sitting perfectly still, with his head down. He shrugged. “My head and my stomach. Really, kinda everywhere.”

            She nodded. “There are a lot of viruses going around right now. Are your parents at home?”

            “My dad is.”

            “Ordinarily I would give you a Tylenol and let you lay down in here for a while; but since it is the last day of school, I think I’m going to call your dad and have him pick you up. Even though your temperature is normal, your pulse rate is very rapid. I have a feeling that you will probably spike a fever very shortly.”

            She had Zach to take a Tylenol and lay down on the cot, while she went into the office and had them call his dad. He closed his eyes and listened and could hear scraps of the conversation. Shortly she came back into the room and he opened his eyes and looked at her.

            “Your dad is on his way. I’m sorry that you have to start your summer vacation this way. I hope whatever you have passes quickly.”

            He thanked her, then closed his eyes and kept them closed until his dad arrived.

            Mr. Rance was admitted to the room and he came quickly to the cot where Zach was laying. He stroked Zach’s head, “Are you okay, buddy?” he asked softly.

            “Not feeling so good, Dad,” Zach answered, slowly opening his eyes.

            “Well, we’ll get you home and put you to bed. You’ll feel better soon.” Mr. Rance helped ease Zach up and thanking the nurse, they left the room. In the outer office, Mr. Rance signed the release sheet and he and Zach left the building.

            As soon as they exited, Mr. Rance put an arm around Zach’s shoulders. “I brought a bucket with me, just in case.”

            Zach just gave a little nod and kept walking. He squinted against the early afternoon sunshine. He climbed into the car and leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He opened his eyes a bit when he felt his father place the bucket between his feet.

            Once they arrived at home, his father sent Zach upstairs to put on his pajamas and to get into bed. He came up shortly afterwards with the bucket to place beside Zach’s bed and a glass of clear soda.

            Zach had turned on his TV to a cartoon show, but had the volume turned low. He was already in laying in his bed, with his eyes closed, and seemed to be on the verge of sleep.

            His dad adjusted the covers around him a bit, and then patted him. “If you need anything, you just let me know, okay?”

            Zach gave a small nod, and said in a voice, barely over a whisper, “I just want to sleep.”

            His dad tiptoed out of the room, closing the door behind him. Zach sighed and opened his eyes. He stared at the TV, not really watching the program. His mind was on more important things.

            A few hours later, Zach could hear his dad coming back up the steps. Zach consciously relaxed all of his muscles, and closed his eyes. He slowed down his breathing, taking deep, slow breaths.

            “Zach?” his dad whispered, “Are you awake?”

            Zach didn’t open his eyes and didn’t answer. He heard his dad place something on his night table and quietly exit the room. Zach heard his father walk down the stairs, and then leave the house. He opened his eyes and saw a note propped up on the glass of soda that he had not touched since his dad poured it. The note said that his dad was going to pick up his mom at work, they were going to grab a pizza on the way home, but they would be back soon.

            He heard the car start. He climbed out of bed and crept to the window; he watched his dad drive off.

            Like a shot Zach was off. He ran down the stairs, darted though the kitchen, and out the back door. Outside he could hear the shouts and laughter of the kids in his neighborhood, celebrating the end of school. He would have been one of them, but he had something more important to do. Because of the noise they were making, Zach didn’t worry too much about a neighbor noticing him.

            He hurried to the garage and selected a ladder. He wished he could use the big wooden one, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to carry it by himself. He had to use the aluminum ladder, because it was lighter. Unfortunately, since it was shorter, it would not make his mission easier tonight.

            He opened it up and leaned it against the solid wall of the patio, where his parents would not be able to see it even if they came out to sit on the patio this evening. The only worry he would have would be if they came out into the yard. They would see it then. He was just going to have to cross his fingers and hope that they wouldn’t.

            He checked the bushes at the end of their property to make sure his skateboard was still there, from where he had hidden it this morning. It was, and Zach sighed with relief. From where he was sitting, he looked back up to the house. He was relieved to find that he couldn’t see the ladder from this part of the yard. He wouldn’t have to worry about a neighbor spotting it and asking his parents about it.

            He hurried back into the house, and stopped by the kitchen. He made two peanut butter sandwiches, and wolfed them down, drinking a grape soda with it. When he was done, he cleaned up the mess, put everything back in its place, and hid the empty can deep in the trash. He darted up the steps and stopped by the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and washed really well around his mouth to remove any traces of peanut butter. As he entered his room, it suddenly dawned on him that if he was sick, and asleep, he wouldn’t have minty-fresh breath. He darted back down the steps and ran back into the kitchen. He found an opened jug of apple juice in the refrigerator, and not wanting to dirty up a glass, he drank from the container—being careful not to touch the jug with his mouth.

            He held the juice in his mouth for a few moments before swallowing it. He was satisfied that the tartness of the apple juice would kill the smell of the toothpaste. He ran back up the stairs and climbed back into his bed. It wasn’t long before he heard his parents arriving home.

            He turned onto his side, away from the door, and again slowed his breathing. He closed his eyes and waited. Soon enough he could make out the sound of softer, lighter footsteps coming up the stairs.

            The door quietly eased open and he heard her walking to his bed. He felt her hand touch his forehead, checking for fever.

            He slowly turned to face her and opened his eyelids about halfway. He smiled, “Hi Mom.”

            “Hi Baby,” she said softly. “How are you feeling?”

            “Not so great,” he mumbled.

            “Well, you’re perspiring. Maybe you are breaking your fever.”

            Zach said, “Yeah, the nurse gave me some Tylenol around 2:00.”

            She checked her watch. “It looks like you could take another dose. Are you hungry?”

            “Ew. No. I just want to sleep.”

            “We will save you some pizza in the refrigerator, in case you wake up hungry later.” She picked up the glass of soda from Zach’s bedside table. “I’m going to send Daddy up with some fresh soda and some Tylenol, so he can give you a kiss before he goes to work. We won’t bother you anymore tonight. You just get some sleep, okay?” She leaned over and gave him a kiss on his forehead, and he nodded.

            She left the room, and a little while later his dad popped in with the Tylenol, which Zach took, and washed down with a sip of the soda. He returned the glass to the nightstand with a shudder of disgust.

            “Do I need to worry about you tonight, Zachy?” his dad asked.

            Zach shook his head no. “I’m feeling a little bit better. I think I can sleep it off.”

            “You do look better than you did earlier. Okay, I won’t worry about you. Much.” He said with a smile. He bent over and kissed the top of Zach’s head. “I love you, bunches. Let me tuck you in and make you all comfy and safe.” Zach curled over on his side, and his dad adjusted the covers. He patted Zach’s back and then quietly left the room.

            Zach rolled over onto his back and lay staring at the ceiling by the light of the almost muted TV. He felt bad. Not sick; bad. He was lying to his parents and he felt guilty. He also felt as if he had no choice. There was no way he could explain to them why he had to go to the dance recital and watch Frankie dance because he didn’t understand it himself. All he knew was that he had to be there.

            He got out of bed and crept to his door to listen. He could hear faint traces of his parents’ voices. They were still in the kitchen. He sat down on the floor to wait. After what seemed like an eternity, he heard the TV downstairs click on. He was up like a shot.

            If he was going to do this, he needed to do it quick. He picked up the note his father had left him earlier, and turned it over to the blank side. He rummaged through his backpack from school until he found a pencil. He wrote:

            “ _I did not run away. I went to a dance_ ,” he paused in his writing. He didn’t know how to spell recital. He tried to think of other words for it, but in truth, he wasn’t exactly sure what a recital was. Finally he continued, _“show. I will be home when it is over. Don’t worry.”_

            He had some stuffed toys that he used to play with when he was little. He had never gotten around to throwing them away, or else he could bear to, whatever, it didn’t matter. He had them; he was going to use them. He pulled the covers down on his bed and began to arrange them in what he imagined a sleeping Zach would look like. After making a few adjustments, he pulled the covers up over them and went to the door to look. If he was his mother, peeking in, he would think that was Zach. He grinned at the scene. He didn’t realize it would look so real when he planned it.

            He didn’t have time to waste, so he ran over, placed the note next to the fake Zach, and then began to strip off his pajamas. He couldn’t chance making noise opening drawers, so he picked up the clothes from the floor that he had taken off earlier and put those back on. He brushed his hair, and then headed for the window.

            His heart was racing. If he got caught, he would probably be grounded for the whole summer. If his friends found out what he was doing, he would never live it down. But the main worry he had was, if he fell, he would probably be dead. Or worse.

            He slowly slid open his window, making as little noise as possible. He scurried over to his door to listen to hear if anyone was coming up to investigate the noise. He held his breath, but his heart was racing so hard, all he could hear was the whooshing of blood in his ears. After a bit he decided that no one was coming so he made his way to the window.

            “It’s now or never,” he thought, and gathering up his courage, slipped out of the window onto the patio roof. He carefully pulled the window almost closed behind him, a step he would have rather skipped, but he was afraid if he didn’t a raccoon would get in. The one thing on earth that Zach was most afraid of was raccoons. On pain of death he would have never admitted that to anyone, but it was the truth. He thought maybe it was because they had people hands. Disgusting.

            He eased across the patio roof until he came to the place where he had propped the ladder earlier. He leaned over the edge to see if it was still there, and found that it was. He also saw that it didn’t reach up nearly as high as he thought it would. He was going to have to lower himself quite a bit to reach the top of it; the rung that said, “Unsafe to stand here”, on a big sticker, written in red, with a picture of a cartoon man falling.

            “Piece of cake,” he whispered to himself, although his hands were shaking.

            He slung his legs out, over the roof’s edge, and began to feel for the ladder with his toes. He couldn’t locate it. He lowered more of his body over the edge, and still couldn’t. Finally, with his arms almost fully extended, he made contact.

            He had his right foot on the dead man step, his left foot dangling in mid-air, and his fingers hooked on the roof’s eaves. For a split second he was overwhelmed with panic. He wanted to scream for help, but he bit it back and fought down the panic. He bent his right knee and slowly brought his left foot over and landed it on the next rung down. He brought the right foot down to join it, all while still hanging on to the eaves, but by now it was just with his finger tips. He let go of the eaves, bent his body and grabbed onto the dead man’s step with his hands. He took a breath to steady himself and realized he was shaking all over.

            He stayed frozen in that position for a minute, until he managed to force himself to descend the ladder. By the time he reached the ground, he had his nerves settled. He looked back up the ladder to the roof and thought, “That was so cool!”

            He crouched down and jogged to the front of the house. He peeked in the window to the living room and saw his parents, his dad in the recliner and his mom on the couch, still watching TV. They hadn’t heard him; they didn’t know he was out.

            He quietly hurried to where he had hidden his skateboard, grabbed it up into his arms, and headed down the patch of ground that separated the houses from the neighboring street. The kids referred to this area as “No Man’s Land” because it belonged to the city instead of the residents. It was creepy and overgrown because the city had recently lost funding to tend to it. As a result, nobody ever came to this area. That was the main reason Zach chose it. He wouldn’t be apt to run into anybody he knew.

            The trees overhead and the wayward growing bushes and weeds could be hiding things. ‘Coons. Zach clutched his skateboard close to his chest and sprinted. Inwardly he chanted, “no ‘coons, no ‘coons, no ‘coons” the entire time he ran. Finally he came to a clearing that lead to a street. He looked back to “No man’s land” and shivered. He was going to have to go back that way later. It would be dark then.

            He shrugged. Nothing he could do about it. He put his skateboard down and got on it. He started out, headed towards the area that the recital was to be held, which was pretty far across town. His dad worked in the opposite direction so there wasn’t much chance of him seeing Zach on the road. And since his mother thought he was sick, there wasn’t any chance she would be leaving the house.

            He was used to riding a skateboard; he did it all the time, but only for fun, not for real transportation. Zipping along the streets and sidewalks in an unfamiliar part of town, with a true destination in mind, was exhilarating. For the first time in his life, Zach felt totally free. Almost like an adult.

            It took him a bit longer than he had thought it would to reach the Haynes Center, but he finally made it. He rode around to the back and stowed his skateboard under a bush and marked the spot with a big white rock so he would be able to find it again.

            He casually strolled around to the front entrance and stopped dead in his tracks. There was a person at the door taking tickets. Zach didn’t have a ticket, and he didn’t have any money to buy one. No! No, no, no!!! He had come too far, and gone through too much to not make it inside.

            He paced around, trying to formulate a plan to get in, but he kept coming up blank. He watched the people arriving, some with their kids all dressed up in their costumes, sometimes it was just older people, whom Zach guessed to be the grandparents of kids performing.

            He noticed a van pull up nearby and he watched as the mom and dad got out of the front. The dad opened the door on the side, and kid after kid came out. It reminded him of a clown car in a circus. He had learned in school that the national statistic for family sizes in America was 2 ¼ kids. Apparently these people hadn’t heard about that, or else they didn’t follow the rules. Zach grinned. They were his kind of people.

            Two of the little girls had on dance costumes, and the bigger of them was whining about being late. The family all hurried together as a group to the entrance. Zach trotted along next to them. The dad fished out a bunch of tickets and handed them to the guy at the door and the mom took off holding the two little girls by their hands, to get them backstage. One of the little girls turned around giggling and waved. The kids all waved to her, and so did Zach. The ticket taker didn’t bother to count the tickets, just allowed them to pass. Inside the lobby, there was a teen-aged girl handing out programs. She gave one to the dad, and each of the kids, including Zach. Once inside the theater, the dad, who had never even noticed that Zach had attached himself to the family, led the kids to a section near the front. Zach veered off and headed for the left side of the theater, near the back.

            He stood against the wall watching the people. He didn’t know if the seats were assigned or if people could sit wherever they wanted. Almost all of the front seats were taken, and some in the middle. Unless all of the people with low numbered seats had arrived earlier than people with higher numbered seats, it meant that you could sit anywhere. He selected the first seat in the last row.

            He opened his program, in an attempt to make it look like he belonged here. He scanned the page. He was amazed at how many times the name “Frankie Grande” appeared in the program. He gave a little laugh, it should have been named, ‘The Frankie Grande Show, featuring People Who Wish They Were Frankie Grande’.

            He re-read the program many times while he waited. He was half-expecting to receive a tap on his shoulder at any given time, by someone informing him he was in their seat, or by an usher asking to see his ticket stub. It didn’t happen. The lights grew dim in the audience area, and turned on bright on the stage. Frankie walked out and Zach gasped at the sight of him. He looked glorious in his flashy, sparkling suit. He welcomed everyone to the recital, and told some jokes that had people falling over laughing. Then he announced the first act, and exited from the stage with a flourish.

            In between the acts, Frankie would come back on the stage and announce the next one. It was great, but then, an older woman came out and announced a dance selection from the senior class.

            Zach had already seen it on the program, so he knew that Frankie would be on the stage. He took a breath and braced himself. The dancers came onstage and began dancing to the opening strains of the music. There was a tall man sitting in front of Zach, so Zach got up and stepped into the aisle to be sure he could see everything. The stage was filled with dancers, but the only one that Zach saw was Frankie. At one point, Frankie lifted one of the girl dancers above his head and held her there while he did some fancy turns. Zach smiled at how silly he had been to ever doubt Frankie’s abilities.

            Zach lost himself in the performance and was startled when everyone began to clap. He clapped so hard and so long that his hands were brilliant red afterward. He didn’t care.

            Frankie was back on stage shortly after that, introducing more acts. One of them was his sister, Ariana, who was going to sing. Zach groaned a bit at the thought of one more little kid singing “Mary Had A Little Lamb”, but it was something he had to endure if he wanted to see all of Frankie’s acts.

            They had set it up to be a funny intro. The last person who had sung was very tall. Ariana was super tiny; she was the shortest kid in 3rd grade. She walked up to the mic stand and the microphone was a foot and a half over her head. She looked up at it, and then looked at the audience with a shrug. The crowd roared with laughter, and Frankie ran out and adjusted the mic stand for her.

            The music started, and Ariana began to sing “I Hope You Dance”, which Zach had heard on the radio a few times. He had expected a tiny little voice to come out, but instead was blown away by her large singing voice. He looked around at the people near him in the audience and saw that they looked as shocked as he felt.

            When the song was over, everyone stood to clap for her. She gave a little bow and a giggle and left the stage. The applause continued, so Frankie came on stage and motioned for her to come back and take another bow.

            When the audience finally quieted, and Ariana left the stage, Frankie introduced the next act. Zach felt a little sorry for the kid who had to follow that, so he clapped extra hard when it was over.

            The woman came on and introduced the senior choir, and Zach read in the program that Frankie would be performing a solo. The choir sang a medley of songs with different students taking the lead. Then the final song began to play. This was Frankie’s solo and he had the whole song with the rest of the choir singing backup. He sang, “I Knew I Loved You”. Zach had heard that song about a million times by Savage Garden, but nothing like how Frankie sang it. Zach felt as if all his bones had melted, and he felt overwhelmed, like he wanted to cry or something. He saw a teenage girl to the right of him wipe her eyes and knew he wasn’t the only one to feel this way. When the song ended, the entire audience leapt to their feet, clapping, screaming, and whistling. Zach could barely manage to stand up. He felt so weak, as if the sickness he had faked earlier had caught up to him.

            There were a few more acts before the finale, but Zach couldn’t focus very well on them. Luckily it wasn’t long before the finale began. All of the students, except for Frankie, were onstage doing a tap routine. Zach liked tap dancing; for some reason, he loved the sound of the taps when they hit the floor. It didn’t matter if the person was a good dancer or not, just the sound of it made him happy. He finally began to come back to himself right before Frankie tapped on stage from the wings. He did a solo routine, and then the other dancers joined him for a huge finish.

            This time when the crowd leapt to their feet, Zach was able to join them. He screamed himself hoarse and clapped so hard and so long, he was actually surprised his hands didn’t fall off. This had been the best time of his life, and he was sad it was over, but so happy he had came.

            The audience began to file out, but Zach stayed in his seat. He wasn’t in a big hurry to leave. Finally the theater was almost empty and he knew it was time to get going. He had placed his program on the seat next to him, to make it look like he was saving the seat, but now he picked it up to take with him. He was glad he would have a souvenir of this magical night to keep.

            As he entered the lobby, he saw Frankie with Ariana and a woman he thought was probably their mom. He saw an older couple with them, and he thought it might be their grandparents. He was trying to figure out a way to sneak by them, when Frankie spotted him and came over.

            “Hey! It’s Zach, right? How are you doing? Did you get in much trouble from the principal that day?” He asked, all in a rush.

            “Hi Frankie! No, he just talked to me. But I did take your suggestion. I told the librarian that I liked pirates, and she gave me ‘Treasure Island’ to read.”

            “Did you like it?”

            “Loved it! And you were right; I didn’t get into trouble any more. The teacher even wrote my mom and told her that my behavior had improved,” he laughed, “She put that letter on the refrigerator. First time she ever did that!”

            Frankie laughed, “I glad it worked out for you!”

            “Yeah, now I am reading ‘Tom Sawyer’.” Zach stated, proudly.

            “Uh-oh!” Frankie said, “Remember it is a good story but it’s not real. Don’t go doing the kinds of things Tom did! No skipping school or exploring old caves or sneaking out of your house at night!”

            Zach smiled, “Don’t worry, I’ll be good.”

            “Zach?”

            “What?!! I won’t, I promise! Okay? Anyway, I wanted to tell you that you did a great job tonight! My parents made me come, but I did like your parts.”

            Frankie looked around, “Where are they?”

            “Uh,” Zach hesitated, “Dad’s in the car, and Mom’s in the restroom. I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t have a touch of that stomach thing. I just thought I would stick around and walk out with her. But since I’m here, would you mind signing this for me?” he asked, handing Frankie his program.

            Frankie looked shocked. “You want my autograph?”

            “Yeah, so when you get rich and famous, I can sell it!”

            Frankie laughed. “No one has ever asked me for an autograph before. Let me go get a pen from my mom.” He came back seconds later, with the pen and Zach’s program.

            “I suppose if you plan on selling it, I shouldn’t make it personal. You want me to just sign my name?”

            Zach grinned, “No, just make it out to Zach. And it is spelled with an h. Z-a-c-h.”

            Frankie nodded and signed the program.

            “Frankie! Mrs. Haynes wants to take some pictures,” the lady, who Zach assumed was Frankie’s mom, said.

            “Okay, I’ll be right there!” Frankie called to her. He handed Zach back the program, and ruffled his hair. “Have a great summer, Zach!”

            “Thanks Frankie, you too!” Zach called, but Frankie was already walking away to join his family. Zach hurried outside while Frankie’s back was turned. He ran around the back of the building and retrieved his skateboard. He pushed off and rode a couple of blocks before getting under a streetlight to read what Frankie had written:

_“To Zach—my favorite little buddy! Thanks so much for asking for my autograph, it made my day! FJG”_

            Zach smiled all the way home. He didn’t care if he was eaten by a pack of rabid raccoons, or if when he got home the police were there to lock him up and throw away the key. This night was worth it.

            He changed his mind about the pack of rabid raccoons when he got to “No man’s land” and had to cross through it in the dark. He shuddered as he picked up his skateboard, clutched it to his chest, and ran as fast as he could through it. He re-claimed his chant of “no ‘coons, no ‘coons, no ‘coons” and when he entered his backyard, he could have jumped for joy that it worked again.

            He didn’t see any flashing lights to indicate the police were at his house. He crept up to the foot of the ladder and listened as hard as he could, but didn’t hear any sounds from inside. He climbed the ladder, and felt a bit sick when he stepped up on the dead man rung, but he was holding onto the eaves very well, so it wasn’t as bad going up as it had been going down. He pulled himself up on the patio roof, and made his way to his window. He looked in and didn’t see anything, except the fake Zach on the bed, lit up by the flickering of the TV set. He eased the window open and slid inside. He looked around, and saw that no one was sitting there, waiting to pounce on him for sneaking out.

            He thought it could be some kind of trick, because he knew that he couldn’t get by with it. He was willing to take whatever punishment; he just didn’t like the idea of waiting for it. But, no matter what, he wanted the autographed program to be safe. It was his, and he didn’t want anyone else to see it or touch it. He had to hide it. He had no idea where. Every place he thought of, he quickly vetoed the idea because it was always someplace that his mom might find it, when she put away his clothes or changed his sheets. The idea that Zach should be doing those things for himself never crossed his mind.

            His eyes fell on the stack of board games on his shelf. These weren’t the family’s games; these were his personal games that he had received for birthdays, Chanukah gifts, etc., over the years. The idea was for him to play them with his friends. He rolled his eyes. He and his friends never played board games; they played video games. He spotted the Monopoly game and groaned. That one was the WORST! He hated that game. It took forever to play and he got so bored with it. He played it twice with his cousin, Amanda, when she came to visit. She loved all that buying houses stuff because her dad was in real estate. Zach hated it and swore he would never play it again. And he never had. It was at the very bottom of the stack, covered in dust.

            He carefully removed all the games from on top of it, and opened the lid. He read Frankie’s message one more time, then with a smile he placed it in the box for safe keeping. He went over to the bed and retrieved the note that he had left lying next to the fake Zach, and put it in there too. He closed the lid, and slid the Monopoly game back in place. He restacked the other games on top of it, just like they had been.

            He pulled off his clothes and put back on his pajamas, and then dismantled the fake Zach, and put all the stuffed animals back where they belonged. He reached up and messed up his hair a bit, to make it look like bed hair, and then decided to face the consequences. He opened the door and went downstairs.

            His mom heard him coming down and met him at the bottom. “Here it comes,” he thought to himself, trying to brace for it.

            “How are you feeling?” his mother asked, reaching out to touch is forehead, checking for fever.

            “A little bit better,” he said.

            “Oh, your voice is hoarse! I hope it’s not strep!” she exclaimed.

            “I don’t think it is. It doesn’t hurt. I’m hungry, is there any pizza left?”

            She smiled at him, “That’s a good sign! Yes, of course there is pizza left! Do you want me to heat it up?”

            “Nah, I like it cold,” he said, heading for the refrigerator.

            His mother went to the cabinet got out a couple of Tylenol and a sore-throat lozenge. She put them at his place at the table. “When you finish eating, I want you to take these, okay? If you are sure you are okay and don’t need anything, I think I’m going to go to bed. I was just on my way up to check on you when you came down.”

            Zach swallowed hard with the realization that if he had arrived home a few minutes later, he would have been caught. He assured her that he was fine, didn’t need anything, and that he would take the medication. She gave him a kiss on the forehead, no doubt checking for fever again, and headed upstairs. Zach heard her go into her room and turn the TV on. He ate quickly.

            Once he was finished, he snuck out into the patio, out the door, and into the yard. He had one last thing he had to do before he would feel safe. He took the ladder down from where it was still leaning against the patio wall, folded it up, and took it back to the garage. He ran quietly across the yard, crept back in the patio, and then into the house. He paused and listened. He could still hear his mother’s TV.

            He put the Tylenol back into the bottle, but he did take the throat lozenge. His throat felt a bit raw from all the screaming he had done earlier. He turned off the lights downstairs, had a bathroom break, and then went back to his room.

            He lay down on his bed, with his arms under his head, and stared at the ceiling. He did it. He wasn’t sure how he had escaped being caught, but he had. He glanced over to the shelf containing his board games. No one else in the world knew he had been there tonight. Nobody but Frankie. It was kind of like they had a secret. He smiled as he fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

           “Please Zach?” Emma whined in the phone, “It would mean so much to me to go!”

            “Well, go! I’m not telling you not to go; I’m just saying I don’t want to go with you. I want to hang out with my friends on Halloween, and I don’t want to go to a kiddy party.”

            “It won’t be like what you are thinking! It will be so much fun, and the invitation said I could bring a guest, and I want it to be you. You’re my boyfriend, who else could I take?”

            “I don’t know—one of your friends?” he suggested.

            “My dad will drive us, and pick us up afterward,” she offered, as if that was the only problem.

            Zach sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He was torn. He really wanted to hang out with his friends. They were planning on TP’ing houses of the mean people in the neighborhood, and there were a lot of them. The people who were always yelling at them to be quiet or to get out of their yards. But Emma was his girlfriend, and the nice thing to do would to be with her. He sighed again. He didn’t want to be nice.

            “Who is having the party?” he asked, feeling like he was already losing the battle.

            “It’s a girl in my dance class. You won’t know her; she’s a couple of years younger than us.”

            “Ugh! See, it is a baby party!”

            “No, it isn’t! Her family really loves Halloween, so they go all out for it. There are going to be all kinds of fun things to do. Sarah is bringing Tony—you like Tony. Molly is bringing her boyfriend Boyd, so you see you have to be there!”

            Zach felt a bit better. He did like Tony. He didn’t really know Boyd, but he seemed okay. If he did end up going to this kid’s party, at least he would have somebody to hang out with. He still didn’t want to go though.

            “You didn’t answer me earlier, whose party is it?”

            “Oh, sorry. Her name is Ariana and she is just the sweetest girl ever. Anyway, her brother is coming home from college for a visit, and I guess he hasn’t been back to Florida for a long time. That’s another reason they wanted to make it super fun.”

            Zach was flipping through a magazine, barely paying attention as she gushed on about the stupid party. He was pissed because he had a feeling she was going to wheedle him into doing what she wanted. “Great. Some college guy and an elementary school girl are having a party. His friends are adults, her friends are babies, and we are going to stand out like sore thumbs.”

            “No, honestly, I promise it won’t be like that! Ariana is younger than us, but she seems older than what she is. You can’t help when you are born. And she says her brother, Frankie, is super fun.”

            Zach froze as the two names, Ariana and Frankie, came together in his mind. By their own volition, his eyes darted to the cabinet that contained his board games, searching for the Monopoly box at the bottom of the stack. He licked his lips, which had suddenly gone very dry. “Uh, well, Em,” he said, trying to appear not interested, “If I were going to go to this party, and I’m not saying I am, but if I were…I would have to tell my folks the family’s last name. You know, just so they know who to sue if I ended up missing or dead or something.” He ended with a fake laugh.

            Emma laughed at his joke. “Ariana’s last name is Grande, so I guess that is the family’s name. It might not be though. People get divorced and remarried sometimes.”

            “I need to think about it. I’ll let you know, okay?”

            “Zach!” she whined, making his name seem at least three syllables long.

            He cringed at the sound. “I’m not saying ‘no way’, I’m saying let me think about it for a while. I’ll call you back.” He said and then hung up the phone.

            He lay back on his bed, with his arms under his head, staring at the ceiling while he thought about things. ‘Frankie Grande’, well that name was a blast from the past. At one point in his life, Frankie Grande was his all-time hero. Forget Batman or Superman, Frankie was his. He remembered bits and pieces of that time, Frankie in his Beemer, Frankie on stage performing, but there was something more than that about him. At the time, it seemed like Frankie had some inner light that seemed to shine out and make everything around him better somehow. Zach scoffed at the memory. He was older now, not a little kid. He knew that Frankie had just been a run-of-the-mill rich kid in a fancy car. But, still…his eyes traveled back to the Monopoly game.

            He hoisted himself up and walked over to it. He slid the game box out of the stack and wiped the dust off of it on his rug. He took the box to his bed and sat down next to it. He hadn’t opened the box since that night that he hid the program inside it. He opened it now and pulled out the note he had left for his parents that night and laughed at the horrible printing. He sat it aside and slowly reached his hand inside to retrieve the autographed program.

            He turned it over to the back and re-read what Frankie had written that night, over three years ago. He transferred it into his left hand, still looking it, and reached for his phone with his right hand. Emma answered on the first ring, as if she had been expecting the call.

            “So Em, if I go to this stupid thing, I don’t have to wear a costume, do I?”

            “Of course you do! It is a Halloween party! But don’t worry about going out and buying one, my mom already got them today. I’m going to be a little kitty-cat, and you get to be a puppy-dog!”

            Zach groaned.

            And that is how Zach found himself, in the Grandes’ living room, dressed in a stupid dog suit, eating cookies. The girls had run off together, almost as soon as they entered the house, and left Zach, Tony (who was dressed like Raggedy Andy), and Boyd (who was dressed like a chunk of Swiss cheese) standing there looking like idiots. Zach took another bite from the cookie he held in his paw. At least he didn’t look as stupid as those guys.

            Suddenly Frankie appeared, dressed as Count Dracula, flourishing a cape around his slight body. “Good evening, I am one of your hosts, Frankie Grande!” he announced, imitating Bela Lugosi. He did it so well that Tony, standing next to Zach gave a start, and scooted over to stand closer to him.

            “Dude! That was freaking scary!” Tony said.

            Frankie laughed, “Good! I’ve been practicing for a week to get the accent right.”

            “You succeeded!” Zach said with a grin, his heart racing at the sight of Frankie. It seemed that not seeing Frankie for three years had done nothing to make Zach not feel like jumping around at the sight of him.

            “Thanks,” Frankie said, and then gave a little frown as he studied what could be seen of Zach’s face peeking out of the dog costume. “I know you, don’t I? Is your name Zach…um, Krestler?”

            Zach laughed, “You are half right. I’m Zach Rance, although I wouldn’t mind being related to the Krestlers! They are the richest family in Florida!”

            “You got my first autograph, right?”

            Zach’s eyes darted to the other boys, and then looked back to Frankie and said, “Yeah”.

            Frankie gave him a little nod, and then asked, “Well, why are we all standing around in here? All the good stuff is in the backyard! Come on, I’ll show you.”

            He lead them through the house, making sure to show them where the bathroom was, and then into the backyard. It was like a Halloween carnival. There was a haunted house, game booths, a stage where people were singing karaoke, and food—lots of food. Frankie told them to have a good time, and excused himself to go mingle. Zach and the guys wasted no time going through the haunted house. For just being in somebody’s backyard, it was really cool.

            There was an artist who was set up to do caricatures of the guests. Emma begged Zach to go with her to get their pictures drawn together. He agreed with the provision that he could take off the dog hat after.

            Frankie strolled by just as the artist was finishing. Zach could feel his face flushing with embarrassment because Emma was hanging all over him. He couldn’t think of a way to make her let go without causing a scene, so he just stood there.

            “There now, all done!” the artist said as she handed them their picture.

            It had Zach, in his dog suit, chasing Emma, in her cat costume, up a tree. Zach pulled the dog head off, finally allowing his head to breath. He pulled off the dog mittens and dropped them, along with the head onto a chair. Emma was going nuts over the picture and showed it to Frankie, who smiled and told her it was great. She took the picture and ran to show her friends.

            “Cute picture!” Frankie said, watching Emma running off.

            “Yeah, but the artist got it the wrong way. Emma’s more like the dog in the picture and I am more like the cat. I sure wouldn’t have dressed her up in a hot, itchy costume,” Zach said scratching the back of his neck.

            Frankie reached over and ruffled his hair. “You put yourself out for her. She is always going to remember it. You are being a good boyfriend, even if you had to wear a ‘hot, itchy costume’. And…it could have been worse. She could have picked the mouse costume and had you come dressed as a piece of cheese.”

            Zach chuckled. “That costume is the WORST!”

            Frankie laughed too, “It is the worst one I have ever seen!”

            Zach turned his smiling face to Frankie, “I wouldn’t have come if she made me dress like that!”

            At the sight of Zach’s smile, Frankie suddenly remembered why he associated Krestler’s with Zach. The memories of all the times his path had crossed Zach’s came back in a flood. He couldn’t help smiling at them.

            “I don’t know if you remember or not, but you advised me once to read a good book when I got bored to keep out of trouble.” Zach said.

            “I remember,” Frankie said, thinking how ironic it was that he had just been remembering it.

            “I still do it. It helps. Sometimes, my mind thinks too much and too fast; it gets confusing. Anyway, I find a good book and I focus on it, and it slows things down. I don’t know; does that make sense?”

            Frankie nodded, “It does, actually. I had a feeling that you were probably very intelligent and were feeling stifled in school; that’s why I suggested it. It’s also why I always keep a good book near me too.”

            Zach looked at Frankie with wide eyes. “You have it too, Frankie?”

            Frankie nodded. “Yeah. I either read a book or watch costume drama movies to relax. Without them, I have trouble sleeping. My mind never seems to want to shut down.”

            “Cool,” Zach exclaimed quietly, “But what’s a costume drama?”

            “Oh, uh…people dressing and acting like they did in earlier times. For instance, something like ‘Romeo and Juliet’ or ‘David Copperfield’.”

            “I read that one, never watched it, but I know the story. Dickens was a pretty cool writer.”

            “He was. He is one of my favorites. Hey, have you eaten anything yet? I’m starving.”

            Zach wasn’t starving, but pretty close to it. He had eaten about a half dozen cookies since he arrived, but he could smell meat grilling somewhere close by. “I could eat,” he said.

            On the way over to the grill, they located the rest of Zach’s group, and they all sat together while they ate. Frankie was a super fast eater and was done long before anyone else. He excused himself, and went to hang out with his friends from college. They got up on the karaoke stage and began to do improv acts, by suggestions shouted from the audience. Zach felt like he had never laughed so hard in his life. They were all good, but Frankie was, by far, the funniest one.

            Emma’s dad arrived to pick them up while Frankie was still performing. Zach had to leave without seeing the end, and without saying good-bye.


	6. Chapter 6

           After that night, Zach and Emma, along with their friends, were often invited to the Grande’s. Zach hadn’t gotten to see Frankie again, because he had gone back to college a day or so after the Halloween party. But Zach found, that just being in Frankie’s home, it made him feel almost like Frankie was there. Plus, Ariana was so proud of him that Frankie was almost a constant topic of conversation.

            He had met a lot of the kids from the performance studio at the Halloween party, and although Zach didn’t attend the studio, he quickly made friends with them. They would all often practice their routines, and they said that Zach, Tony, and Boyd were the most important members of their troupe—the audience. Ariana’s mom sometimes sat with them and helped them with their audience duties.

            Zach still maintained a friendship with the guys he had grown up with, and he still had good times with them. However, they seemed to have some kind of unspoken code and sets of rules that Zach had a hard time following. He found that he felt more like himself when around the kids at the Grande’s than he did with the guys he had known forever. Because of this, he never turned down an invitation to go there, although on the surface, with Emma, he always put up a token protest and let her talk him into going.

            The Saturday before Thanksgiving found the group all at the Grande’s house again. He was sitting in the family room with Tony and Boyd, plus their new friends, the twins- Nick and Neil, Scott, and Richard. They were watching a sports news program where the announcers were speaking about the upcoming footballs games that were to be broadcasted on Thanksgiving. The girls were in the next room over, talking about the upcoming Christmas program that they were performing in. Every once in a while, the guys could hear them laughing, over the sound of the TV. Zach loved the feeling of excitement in the air when they would all talk about their routines.

            Frankie had been in a play at his college the week before. Joan, Ariana’s and Frankie’s mother, had gone to see it and recorded it so Ariana could see. She had not been able to take the time off school to go in person. He had no idea how many times Ariana had watched it, but she had played the video three times this week while Zach was there. He didn’t mind. He would have been happy to watch Frankie perform forever.

            He slouched down in the chair he was sitting in to be able to get a clearer view of a new picture of Frankie that Joan had hung up in the hallway that separated the two rooms. It was on the stage and Frankie was still in his costume from the play, but he was smiling to his mother who was holding the camera. He looked like a different person, but at the same time, it was Frankie’s smile. It was interesting to pick out the parts that looked like Frankie and the parts he had changed for the role.

            Richard nudged his arm, breaking into his thoughts. “Boy, you’ve got it bad, don’t you?”

            Zach flinched, “No, what do you mean?”

            He laughed, “You haven’t taken your eyes off Emma since she left the room. Just chill, man. She’ll be back in here soon.”

            Zach glanced back to the picture and saw that Emma was indeed right near it. He hadn’t noticed her earlier.

            He felt his face grow warm, and decided to joke it away. “I’m just being a good boyfriend. Maybe someday someone will decide to lower their standards and date you. Then you will know how it feels.”

            Richard shook his head with a grin, “No thanks, man. If I have to sit around looking all moony and heart-eyed over somebody, I think I will pass. It’s kind of gross for everybody else to witness.”

            Zach grinned, “One day you will grow up and not think like that.”

            Richard threw one of the couch pillows at Zach, hard, and said with a laugh, “I’m two years older than you!”

            “And yet, there you are, and here I am. I guess puberty just caught up to me sooner than it did you.”

            Ariana was called away to take a phone call, and by the time she returned, the group had all re-formed in the family room. She was beaming when she joined them there.

            “Frankie’s coming home for Thanksgiving!” she announced, obviously overjoyed with the news. “That was him on the phone. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to come home, but his schedule cleared up and he can! He told me to tell everybody hi, so “Hi!” from Frankie!”

            As if on cue, everyone said, “Hi Frankie!” then broke into laughter.

            By the time Zach arrived home that evening, his heart was racing with excitement at the idea of Frankie coming home in just a few days. However, that Thanksgiving he found himself sitting at his aunt’s table in Long Island, New York, being miserable.

            He cheered himself with the thought that Frankie would probably come home for the Christmas break. Those hopes were dashed though when the Grande’s flew out to Pennsylvania a few days before Christmas to be with Frankie.


	7. Chapter 7

          After a time, Tony and Boyd stopped coming around the Grande’s house. Their relationships with their girlfriends had ended and since Ariana was Sarah’s and Molly’s friend, they continued coming around, which meant the guys were out. Zach became especially nice to Emma and the main reason was so that he could keep in good with the group. He never would have admitted that aloud, but to himself, he could be honest.

            Right before spring break, Emma moved away. Her mother had gotten a good job up north, so the family had packed up and moved. Ariana threw her a farewell party, and Zach was depressed all night. People kept coming over to him and patting him on the back or the shoulder, telling him how bad they felt for him to be losing her.

            As bad as it sounded, he wasn’t all that upset that Emma was leaving. She was a nice girl, and he liked her, but not enough to be terribly upset about her going away. The thing that got him in the gut the most was she was his connection to the Grande’s. With her gone, he wouldn’t be invited back. It wasn’t just the Frankie thing, although that was a huge part of it, it was also that he would miss everybody that he hung at with at the house. But he didn’t attend the studio—he didn’t sing, dance, or act, so he had no real claim to their friendship. His other friends were assholes. He loved them, but he knew what they were. The people who he hung out with at Ariana’s gatherings were nicer, and he enjoyed being with them a little bit more.

            Spring break started about a week after Emma left. The second day of the break, Zach took his basketball to the park to practice. His friends were planning on sleeping in, playing video games, and going swimming in the community pool. They had done that the day before and would do it every day of vacation. It was okay plan, but he didn’t want to do it every day. Hanging out with the kids at the Grande’s had taught him something important: If you wanted to get better at something, you had to practice. He liked basketball and thought he might like to play on the high school team, but he knew his skills weren’t as sharp as they should be. Plus, he had a lot on his mind. When he was practicing, he could shove it all that stuff to the background.

            After a time he took a break, sat down on a bench in the shade of a tree. He had brought a soda with him, and although it had gotten a bit warm, it was wet, and he was thirsty. He tipped the can up and began to chug from it. Suddenly, from the corner of his eye, he saw a familiar Beemer cruise by.

            He almost choked. He had no idea that Frankie was back in Florida. He wanted to wave or call out to him, but he wasn’t sure if he should. As if Frankie sensed him there, he turned towards him, and slowed the car. He pushed the button on the control panel near his hand, and the passenger window silently descended. He lowered his sunglasses and looked at him.

            “Zach?” he called, “Where have you been?”

            Zach got up and trotted over to the car. This close he could feel the cool blasts of air conditioning flowing out of the open window. “I don’t know. Here?” he said, bemused by the question.

            “Are you doing okay?” Frankie asked.

            Zach gave a little shrug and said, “I guess so.”

            Frankie nodded, rolled up the passenger window, put the car in park, and cut the engine. He climbed out of the car. “Think you could share part of your bench with me?”

            “Sure,” Zach said, still confused about what was going on.

            Frankie walked over to the bench and sat down. Zach joined him. They sat in silence for a while, listening to the sounds of kids playing in the distance and the birds in the trees above them.

            “So, playing a little basketball?” Frankie asked, indicating the ball still on the court, a few feet away.

            “Yeah. I thought I would try out for the team next year when I get to the high school so I’m getting in some practice.”

            Frankie just nodded. After a bit, he said, “Zach, something seems to be wrong. Ariana says you haven’t been around since Emma left. All of your friends are worried about you. They miss you. Do you want to talk about it, or would you rather I mind my own business?”

            Zach was stunned. He couldn’t believe that Frankie was sitting here, wanting to talk about his problems with him. He also was surprised to find out that his new friends missed him. He thought they were all Emma’s friends, not his.

            Apparently Zach didn’t answer quickly enough so Frankie reached over and softly ruffled his hair. “I know you are hurting right now, and I am sorry for your pain. Can I tell you what I believe?” he didn’t paused for Zach to answer, “I believe that if you are destined to be with someone it will happen. Your paths will cross many times. There is no true end, unless you consciously cut the person out. Otherwise, it is like a wheel of hellos and good-byes, until a time when you don’t say good-bye anymore.”

            “Frankie?” Zach said, with a questioning tone.

            “Yeah?”

            “That sounds like something you read in a book”

            “Actually, I saw it a movie. It doesn’t mean it isn’t true though.”

            Zach gave a little scoff and bumped Frankie’s shoulder with his. Then he shook his head, “I’m just going through some weird crap right now; a lot of changes. I’m just trying to cope with them the best that I can.”

            Frankie nodded. “Change can be hard. Scary too.”

            Zach looked away. “One thing is my mom’s having a baby soon.”

            “She is?!! That’s great!” Frankie said with a smile.

            “Is it though? I had to give up my room already. They put me down in the playroom so they could have my room for him.”

            “Him? So you know he is a boy? A new baby in the house is so fun! I envy you.”

            Zach looked at him like he was crazy. “Babies all look like baked potatoes, and they are gooey, spraying out liquid from every opening.”

            Frankie grinned. “I have a little sister and a little brother. I adore them, and am so proud to be their big brother.”

            “You have a brother? Where is he?”

            “He is my dad’s and step-mom’s. He was born when I was about your age, maybe a little older. They live in New York, and I spend a lot of time there. It is a lot easier for me to go to their house than come to Florida on my school breaks.”

            “I’m surprised you came home now. Your school year isn’t over yet, is it?” Zach asked.

            Frankie shook his head no. “Finals are coming up, then graduation. I started feeling a bit overwhelmed, so I decided to come home for the break.”

            Zach became alert to Frankie’s mood: he was stressing out. “Are you worried that you aren’t going to pass?”

            “No. I know I will pass. Finals are just a tense time.” Frankie licked his lips and darted his eyes away from Zach’s.

            “I wish you trusted me. I won’t tell anybody, whatever it is.” Zach said.

            Frankie gave a humorless chuckle, “Hey now, I came here to listen to you, not the other way around!”

            “But if we are friends…never mind,” Zach said, with a little shake of his head.

            “What? Say it.”

            “I guess we aren’t really friends. You’re just being nice to me because your sister is worried about me.”

            “Bullshit! Of course we are friends! I gave you my first autograph, remember?” Frankie paused to collect his thoughts. “Okay, what it boils down to is I have been accepted into two of the schools I applied to, for their master degree programs, and I don’t know which one to take. I’m kind of stuck at the moment.”

            “Okay,” Zach said, “I’ve never had to face that kind of problem, but I can listen while you talk through it. What are you planning on studying?”

            “Marine Biology,” Frankie replied, and was taken aback when Zach looked shocked by his answer. “I’m a biology major and I have always planned on becoming a Marine Biologist. What’s the look for?”

            “I didn’t know that. I always assumed you would be in some kind of entertainment field. When Ariana talks what you are doing in school, it is always some kind of performance thing. I had no idea you studied biology,” Zach said the word ‘biology’ as if it were a dirty word.

            Frankie threw his head back, laughing. “I’m actually a triple-major—biology, theater, and dance. It is really hard to make a living in the performance arts. There are people who never make it. I really enjoy biology, so it seems like the wiser choice.” He reached up and began to unconsciously pick a place on his forehead.

            Zach saw the gesture and knew that Frankie had withdrawn from the conversation and was lost in his own thoughts. “So, are you going to tell me what it is, or do you want to keep it to yourself?”

            Frankie quickly scanned the area.

            “There’s nobody here but me, and I won’t tell a soul.” Zach assured him

            Frankie nodded and licked his lips, “About a month ago, I spent the weekend at my dad’s house. We went to an off-Broadway play— theater is not really his thing, but it did it for me. After the show, I saw a notice on the billboard in the lobby for an open casting call on the following Monday. I skipped classes that day and went to the casting call.”

            “And you got the part?” Zach interjected excitedly.

            “Not exactly. A few days later I got a call-back. I took the train back to New York, and did another audition. A week later I got another call back.”

            “And then…did you get the part?”

            Frankie sighed. “They offered it to me, yes.”

            “That’s fantastic! So, what’s the problem?”

            Frankie sighed, “If I were to take the part, I would have to turn down admittance to both schools. I could re-apply to them next year, but I might not get accepted. I could end up going to ‘Bruce’s School of Marine Biology and Bait Shop’.”

            Zach whooped out a laugh, and bumped Frankie’s shoulder with his again, “Come on, Frankie! You know you won’t end up at ‘Bruce U’. If those two schools won’t let you in, I’m sure there are other good schools that would. So, what’s the part?”

            “Well, it’s in a road company; lots of traveling, which is not so great. One really good thing is I automatically get my card for the actor’s union. There is this catch-22 thing about getting it. See, you can’t get in the union unless you are a working actor, but you can’t get a job without it. Once I am in, I could be available to work in other shows in the future. The pay isn’t bad either.”

            “You still didn’t tell me what the part is,” Zach prompted.

            Frankie gave a little shrug, “It’s Boots, the monkey. From ‘Dora, the Explorer’.”

            “That’s so cool!” Zach exclaimed.

            “You think? I mean, Boots isn’t exactly Hamlet.”

            “Good! What little kid would want to see a show with Dora and Hamlet together? She’d be trying to use the map to find treasure, and he would be talking about death. That wouldn’t be much fun!” Zach said, laughing. “So, if you took this part, you would get your union card thing, get good pay, get to perform—which, by the way, you would be great at it, plus, make little kids happy.”

            “Yes, but like I said, it is really hard to depend on theater work. One day you’re in, the next day you’re out. With marine biology, I could find work in all kinds of fields. It is the more secure choice.”

            Zach put his index finger on Frankie’s temple. “This is a gun to your head. Right now decide: the stage or marine biology. What is forever, what is for never?”

            “It’s not that easy…” Frankie began.

            “No, right now, which one can’t you live without?”

            “The stage,” Frankie said, and then said, “Oh!” in surprise.

            Zach dropped his finger, “See how easy that was?”

            Frankie looked at him in amazement. He reached over and ruffled his hair again, “You’re a pretty smart kid, you know that?”

            Zach felt a bit embarrassed so he got up and walked over to his ball, picked it up, and began dribbling it. “Nah, even my unborn brother could see that being on stage is your life. I was hoping that was the one you would pick. I’m not sure how much I could sell your autograph for if you were a Marine Biologist. Hey, do you play?”

            Frankie hopped up, “Yeah, better than you!”

            Zach tossed Frankie the ball, “Prove it, old man!”

            They played a quick game of HORSE, and Frankie did win, but not by much.

            “Rematch?” Zach asked.

            Frankie looked at his watch. “Sorry, I have to get home. We have having Grande Game Night. Are you coming to it?”

            “I don’t know. I wasn’t invited,” Zach said, dribbling his basketball.

            “You would have been if you would have bothered to talk to anybody. Like I said, they have all been worried about you, but they wanted to give you space. So, consider yourself invited.”

            “Okay,” Zach said with a big smile, “it sounds like fun! Honestly, I have missed everybody. Will they all be there?”

            “Yeah, at least that was the plan when I left the house. Do you want to ride with me? I could bring you home too; save your folks a trip.”

            “Cool!” Zach was awe-stricken. He had always wanted to ride in Frankie’s Beemer. He picked up the basketball and headed for the car.

            “Whoa, not so fast. You need to get permission before you just take off, don’t you?”

            “No, not really. As long as I am home by curfew.” Zach answered with a shrug, and pulled his flip-phone from his pocket, “They can always get a hold of me if they want.”

            “I’d really feel better if you let someone know where you are going.”

            Zach rolled his eyes, but he dialed his mom’s phone. Frankie moved away to give him privacy. It didn’t take long before Zach joined him. “She said it was fine if I go. Are you happy now?”

            “Yes, for the call, and for your help. Are you happy now? It seems we solved all my problems today but didn’t really do much about yours.” Frankie said, searching Zach’s face.

            Zach shrugged. “I’m okay. That stuff you said about destiny, the circle thing, it made sense—even if it came from a movie. And the brother thing, well, if you can do it, I can do it,” he grinned. “Yeah, I’m good now.”

            They got into Frankie’s car, and Zach was busy checking everything out, so happy to finally be able to ride with Frankie.

            As Frankie was turning the key, Zach said, “My mom was thrilled that I was invited to your house. She thinks I have a crush on Ariana.”

            Frankie paused and looked at him in surprise. “Do you?” he asked.

            Zach laughed. “No. I mean, she’s a nice girl and I like her, just not that way.”

            “That’s a relief. I thought I was going to have to give you ‘the boyfriend lecture’ on how to treat my sister, and I haven’t come up with one yet.” He ran a hand through his hair, and then began to pick at his forehead again. “I’m going to have to come up with one soon, aren’t I?”

            “Well, not for me, but yeah, probably. Some boy is going to notice her soon, if he hasn’t already.”

            “That’s just great,” Frankie said in mock anger, “All my stress just came back!”

            Zach was unpleasantly surprised to discover that ‘Grande Game Night’ consisted of a Monopoly tournament. Monopoly was Frankie’s favorite game, apparently. Zach remembered how he put the autographed program in his own Monopoly box because he hated the game; now knowing that Frankie loved it, it made his hiding place seem all that more perfect.

            Zach sat at another table than Frankie, so during the times he was not actively playing; he could look over and watch him. Frankie seemed much less stressed this evening and for that, Zach was thankful. He, himself, felt better too. He thought over the problems that he had had earlier and they all seemed to be over. His friends had missed him and wanted him back, and that was evident by the welcome he had received. Frankie had assured him that he would love having a brother, and watching Frankie with Ariana, it did seem like the kind of sibling relationship he would enjoy. He had always felt kind of lonely, and once the baked potato was born, maybe he wouldn’t be so lonely anymore. Also, he had freaked out when he had been moved from his old room to the unused den/playroom, but thinking about it unemotionally, he could see why it could be a good thing for him. He wouldn’t have to hear the baby cry in the middle of the night, and, it would be much easier to sneak out of a ground floor room than it was from the second story. Not that he did that. Much.

            As for Emma being gone and that whole circle of destiny thing that Frankie had told him about, he just didn’t see that as being her. She hadn’t been gone long at all, and he was already forgetting about her. Their ‘goodbye’ was probably the final one.

            Zach went bankrupt pretty early in the evening, so he wandered outside with a few of the other guests who were also flops at Monopoly. He situated his chair so that he could still look inside and watch Frankie. He was beating everyone at his table; winning looked good on him.

            After a time, the crowd outside was much larger than the one inside. Someone suggested they play a game, ‘What’s your favorite____?’. The game went several rounds—musical groups, food, color, television show, animal, book, movie, etc. The last question they could come up was flower—suggested by one of the girls, who was looking directly at one of the guys in the group when she said it. Zach suspected she was trying to give the guy a hint to send her some, but the guy seemed oblivious. The majority consensus seemed to be roses, with daisies coming in second. On Zach’s turn he agreed with roses; suddenly a voice behind him gave a vote for sunflowers. Zach startled and turned around to see Frankie leaning against the back of his chair. He hadn’t realized his Monopoly tournament had ended.

            “So, who won?” Zach asked.

            Frankie grinned, “Who do you think?”

            The group came up with a new version of the game, ‘What are you most afraid of?’. Zach began to squirm in his seat. The answers that were being thrown out—fire, spiders, snakes, clowns, drowning—seemed fairly common. What would they all think when it was his turn and he said raccoons? They would probably think he was nuts.

            However, he was saved from answering as several sets of headlights began to flash into the backyard as cars were coming up the circular driveway.

            “It looks like the party is over!” Frankie announced, and people began to make way to the front of the house to catch their rides home. To Zach he said, “We probably should be getting you home too. I don’t want your parents to worry.”

            It was on the tip of Zach’s tongue to tell Frankie there was no hurry, his curfew wasn’t for another hour, but he didn’t. For one thing, even saying the word ‘curfew’ made him feel like a little kid and he didn’t want to feel that way around Frankie; and for another thing, he didn’t want Frankie to feel like he couldn’t get rid of Zach for another hour. Zach thought he probably had plans with some of the older people in the group and wanted to get rid of Zach as fast as he could.

            Frankie turned the radio up loud and they sang all the way to Zach’s house, on the top of their lungs.

            They pulled up outside Zach’s house, and Zach reached in the backseat to retrieve his basketball. Frankie muted the radio. “So, are you coming back tomorrow?”

            Zach nodded, “Richard is going to give me a lift.”

            “Great! Glad that you are excited about another night of Monopoly at the Grande’s!”

            Zach shrugged, “Sure, I can’t think of anything I would rather do.”

            “You hate Monopoly. I could see it all over your face tonight,” Frankie said laughing. “But don’t worry, Ariana said she wanted a karaoke night tomorrow, and I have heard you are a great audience member.”

            “Yeah, that is one of my greatest talents. I can clap with the pros!” Zach quipped.

            “Audiences are very important. Without them, it’s just a guy on a stage making a fool out of himself.” Frankie said quietly, looking out of the windshield.

            Zach studied Frankie’s profile. “What is it? You have been happy all night, and now you’re not.”

            “That game we were playing, ‘What are you most afraid of?’, you didn’t answer it. What were you going to say?” Frankie turned his head to look at Zach.

            “I don’t know. I wasn’t going to tell the truth, that’s for sure!”

            “What is the truth?”

            Zach looked down at his lap. He didn’t want to answer, but it was Frankie. He would do anything for Frankie, even this. He looked up and met Frankie’s eyes so he could watch his reaction. “Raccoons.”

            Frankie stuck his hand up and moved his fingers. “Because of this?”

            Zach gave an involuntary shudder. “Yeah, and the rabies thing too.”

            Frankie nodded, solemnly. “I can understand that.”

            Zach was shocked. He thought Frankie might have laughed at him, but he didn’t. He understood. “So, what are you most afraid of?”

            Frankie looked out the windshield again, and licked his lips. He bit his lower lip and then turned his head to look at Zach. “Failure”, he said, in a very low voice.

            “No, that will never happen, Frankie!” Zach declared, stoutly. He reached out and grabbed Frankie’s arm, “I swear it! It will never happen.”

            Frankie smiled and nodded, but Zach could see it wasn’t real. “You know that if you don’t even try, you have already failed, right?”

            Frankie sighed. “You’re right. No way to get around the fear, so I have to work through it.”

            “You are going to be the best Boots the world has ever seen!” Zach exclaimed.

            Frankie roared with laughter. “I guess I already have one true fan. I can only go up from here, right?”

            Zach smile, “Yep! And I will always be your fan, so you can never fail.”

            Frankie ruffled Zach’s hair, “You’re a good kid. Now, get out of my car before your parents think I’ve kidnapped you.”

            Zach started to get out of the car, but paused and turned back to Frankie. “I swear, I won’t ever tell anybody what you are afraid of.”

            “I know. I wouldn’t have told you if I didn’t trust you. And I won’t tell anybody what you are afraid of either.” He stuck out his hand, and Zach shook it.

 

            Frankie stayed in town a few more days. On the night before he was due to leave, the family had a party to celebrate Frankie’s announcement of being Boots. There was a huge cake, with Boots the Monkey carrying a suitcase, catching a train. Boots had a cast on his leg, and the words on the cake were, “Break a leg, Frankie!”

            Zach was looking at the cake when Frankie came up to him. “Break a leg?” he asked.

            Frankie laughed. “You don’t wish someone ‘good luck’ in the theater; you tell them to ‘break a leg’. It is a superstition, and it has become tradition. Anyway, as you can tell, my family is excited about it. They think I made the right decision. Thanks for helping me to get my head together the other day.”

            Zach shrugged, “You helped me too. I’m actually starting to look forward to ol’ Potato Head’s birth now.”

            Frankie laughed. “Do you have a MySpace page?”

            “Yeah, why?”

            Frankie went to the game cabinet and retrieved a pad and a pencil. He wrote something down and handed it to Zach. “Here is the address to my MySpace page. Send me a picture of him when he is born, okay?”

            Zach took the slip of paper and stood goggling at it like an idiot, before it dawned on him that he was goggling at it like an idiot, and he nodded and slipped the paper in his back pocket.

            Frankie was busy with his other guests all evening and Zach didn’t speak to him again until it was time to leave. Frankie came over to thank them all for coming, and then asked if he could speak to Zach alone.

            Once alone Frankie said, “Now I mean it, I really want to see a picture of your brother.”

            “I’ll send you one, I promise. And Frankie, don’t worry, you are going to knock them dead out there.”

            Frankie slung an arm around Zach’s shoulders and gave him a squeeze. “Make sure you check in with these guys every once in a while. They miss you when you’re gone.”

            Zach promised he would. “Are you coming back soon?”

            Frankie sighed. “I guess that depends on how well I do. If I bomb, I’ll be home right away. Otherwise, it may be a while.”

            They had made their way back to the group, and as Zach was walking out the door, he stopped, turned around, smiled, and said, “Break a leg, Frankie!”

            It was over three years before they saw each other again.


	8. Chapter 8

           It was end of the day, the last school day before Thanksgiving break. Zach was pissed because his friends, the guys from his neighborhood, all had detention. The week before, Zach had missed the last part of the day of school because of a dentist appointment. That day, the guys had gotten some spray paint and decided to decorate the principal’s car. They were caught before they could even get started, which was actually kind of lucky because at least the police weren’t involved. They all rode to and from school together every day, so that meant Zach had an hour to kill before they were released.

            He saw some of his other friends, the ones from the Haynes Studio, hanging around a picnic table at the edge of the grounds, so he made his way over to them. He had an odd relationship with them. It started on Frankie’s MySpace page, and then later moved to Frankie’s private FaceBook page. They all met on there and posted and commented on things. He knew almost everything about them, and they knew almost everything about him, but they hardly ever spoke in real life. Some of the friends were much older—even a few were married with babies; some of them were much younger—even a few younger than Ariana; but the group sitting at the table were most of the ones still in high school.

            They all greeted him when he walked over as if they saw him every day. He sat down next to Molly and began to tease her about when she was going to go out with him. She had just started to get irritated with him, when they all heard loud music playing, and their attention turned to the driveway in front of the school.

            A sleek, hot yellow Camaro convertible with black trim stopped in front of the school. Zach could see the driver, even from the far distance. It was a blonde guy with what looked like a faux hawk. He wore mirrored sunglasses, so Zach couldn’t see much of his face. Suddenly Ariana ran out of the building, and the man jumped out of the car and ran to her. They met in the middle and the man swung her up in his arms, and spun in a circle with her. He sat her on her feet and they both laughed and jumped into the car and sped away.

            “Ariana is so lucky. I wish my brother was like that,’ sighed Belinda whom Zach knew had an older brother who would barely pass her the milk at the breakfast table.

            “Screw that! I wish I had Frankie as a boyfriend, not as a brother!” Molly said, with a roll of her eyes. “Oh my God, he is just so hot!”

            Boyd, who had somehow managed to become part of the group again somewhere along the line, said, “You’d be better off with Rance here, or even better, me!”

            Molly rolled her eyes again. “As if! Neither one of you could ever hold a candle to Frankie!”

            “Maybe not, but Frankie’s gay.” Boyd declared.

            “No he’s not!” Molly denied hotly, then “Is he?”

            “Yeah. He has a boyfriend in New York. I think they live together. The guy’s name is Dylan and he has pictures of him and Frankie together all over his FaceBook page.”

            Zach listened silently to this exchange, then got up and excused himself. He decided to walk home instead of waiting for his friends to finish their detention.

            He went home to an empty house, parents both at work, and Peyton—whom Zach always called ‘Spud’—was at day care. He grabbed some juice from the refrigerator, and went into his room. He turned his phone on silent, and turned his stereo up loud.

            He lay down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He was still that way when his parents arrived home. They had picked up Spud and some dinner on the way home. Zach ate, played with his brother until it was his bedtime, and then went back into his room. He put his head phones on, turned the music up high, and lay back down on his bed. His curiosity got the better of him and he picked up his phone and saw that he had missed a bunch of calls. There were also tons of messages on FaceBook Messenger. He didn’t open up the FaceBook app so he wasn’t sure what he messages were, but in his gut he knew. They were probably all at the Grande’s having a big party. He wasn’t ready to face Frankie right now.

            The next day was Thanksgiving, and he had a houseful of company. All his relatives brought food and came to spend the day. He had his little cousins and Spud to play with and entertain, and they helped him to get out of his head for a bit. In the afternoon, he watched football games and that helped. By the time the last relative had left, very late in the evening, he was exhausted and fell into bed. He was determined not to check his phone, but found that he couldn’t sleep without knowing. He turned it on and saw that it was a repeat of yesterday. Missed calls, messages, and voice mails. He sighed and shut it off. It took a long time for him to fall asleep.

            Friday morning he was going stir crazy. He wished that the guys hadn’t been so stupid because they were all grounded for the vacation. He had nobody to hang out with. He moped about and made noises and messes until his mother blew up at him and told him to go find something to do. Basketball tryouts were coming up, and he had made the team every year, but it wouldn’t hurt to brush up on his shooting, he reasoned. He grabbed his basketball and headed to the basketball court in the park.

            He lost track of time; he had no idea how long he had been playing. He did know that he felt exhausted, soaked in sweat, but a lot of the stress was gone. He stopped and pulled his shirt off and threw it behind the basketball pole to keep it out of his way. He dribbled a bit more, preparing to make another shot, when a drop of sweat ran into his eye.

            “Mother fuck!” Zach exclaimed angrily, and dropped the ball to rub his eye.

            “Did you get sweat in your eye?” he heard a voice call from behind him. He spun around, and with the unblinded eye, he saw Frankie. He was leaning with his back against the passenger side of his car. He had one leg crossed over the other, and his arms crossed loosely in front of him. He looked comfortable, and he looked like he had been there for a while.


	9. Chapter 9

            Frankie had been trying to get in touch with Zach since he arrived in Florida, two days ago. Aside from his family, he missed Zach the most. When he didn’t get an answer to any of his calls or messages on FaceBook, he became worried. He searched through their last conversation on Messenger to find a clue to what could be wrong, but there was nothing. Zach was pissed that his friends were in trouble, and Frankie told him about a job he had coming up; nothing that would indicate a problem between them.

            Yesterday he had driven by Zach’s house and saw numerous cars parked in the area, so he had assumed that it was his extended family sharing Thanksgiving. This morning, when he still didn’t get any answer, he went out driving again. He cruised up and down streets in Zach’s neighborhood, with no sign of him. Finally he decided to drive through the park. He had driven by the basketball court three times before he realized that the man shooting hoops was Zach. Some part of Frankie had expected Zach to still be fourteen-years-old. He pulled over and parked his car. He got out and leaned against his car, watching. He had been there for a while. He wasn’t sure how long. When Zach stopped and pulled his shirt off, Frankie was preparing to call out to him. But then he noticed the muscles rippling down Zach’s back, and the words died on his lips. Frankie decided that puberty had been very, very good to Zach.

           

            Zach stood there, rubbing his eye, still trying to recover from the shock of seeing Frankie standing there. Finally he said, “Yeah.”

            “I have some artificial tears and tissues.” Frankie opened up the passenger door, sat down in the seat, and began rummaging around in his glove compartment. He found the items and handed them to Zach.

            Zach hurriedly used the drops and rubbed the tissue around his eye to remove the traces of sweat. He felt almost immediate relief. “Thanks,” he said as he handed the drops back to Frankie. Frankie replaced them in the glove compartment, and when he looked up, Zach was already walking back to the court.

            Frankie got out of the car, shut the door, and walked to the bench next to the court. He sat down and watched as Zach bounced the ball. Each time the ball struck the ground, Frankie could feel the repercussion in his ears. Frankie could tell that Zach was extremely angry, and it was at him, but he had no idea why. He knew better than to push Zach, so he just sat there quietly and waited.

            The bouncing went on for a while, and then suddenly it stopped. Zach stood there, holding the ball, staring at Frankie.

            Frankie smiled, “Hi Zach.”

            Zach sighed. “Hi Frankie,” he mumbled.

            “So, what’s new?” Frankie quipped, hoping to get Zach to lower his guard.

            “With me, nothing. Nothing that I haven’t told you about, I mean. As for you, well…let’s see, new hair cut, new hair color, new nose, new car, and new boyfriend. Anything else new that you didn’t tell me about?”

            “Oh, so you know,” Frankie said, leaning back against the back of the bench.

            “That you’re gay? Yeah, Boyd told me.” Zach said, looking intently at a leaf near Frankie’s left foot.

            “Boyd?” Frankie mused. “Boyd? Was that the kid that came to my Halloween party dressed as a chunk of cheddar cheese?”

            Zach’s eyes jerked up to Frankie’s face, and a small smile threatened to appear on his lips, but he fought it and looked back down at the leaf again. “It wasn’t cheddar, it was Swiss.”

            “Sorry, my mistake. How did he know?”

            “He said he saw pictures of you and the guy on the guy’s FaceBook page.”

            “His name is Dylan,” Frankie said.

            “Well, thanks for sharing that with me. I already know though because Boyd told me.” Zach said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

            Frankie frowned, “I don’t get it. Are you pissed at me because I am gay?”

            “I don’t give a shit; I care that you didn’t tell me,” Zach tossed the ball to the edge of the court and began to pace around, taking huge steps and slapping the back of his hand into his palm of the other hand. His voice began to rise with each word. “I tell you when I get a pimple. I tell you when I get a B on a book report. I tell you about my asshole friends. I tell you when I fight with my mom. I tell you when I get turned down for a date. I tell you fucking everything, and you have this huge part of your life that you don’t tell me about, and a person who is important to you, whom I just heard about…from fucking Boyd, the cheese kid! I always thought we were friends, real friends!” He stopped, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to control his emotions.

            “You’re right,” Frankie said.

            Zach looked confused, “What?”

            “You’re right. I can see why you are upset. Why don’t you come over here and sit next to me so we can talk?”

            “No, Frankie. I smell bad.”

            Frankie laughed. “I don’t care about that. Come here.”

            Zach came closer, but he didn’t sit on the bench with Frankie. He sat down on the ground, next to Frankie’s legs. Frankie reached over and began to ruffle through Zach’s hair.

            “When I came out, you were fourteen. I told my family the same time as I told them that I was going to take a break from school and become Boots. There was no way I could discuss it with you. There is no place in the universe that it is appropriate for an adult to discuss personal matters like that with a minor. I still wouldn’t be, except you already know. So, friend to friend, I will tell you something that even Boyd, the all-knowing-chunk-of-cheese, doesn’t know. Dylan is not my first boyfriend, and I don’t think he will be my last. Things haven’t been going well lately. That is part of the reason I came home.”

            Zach leaned his head against Frankie’s knee. “I’m sorry. Are you okay? Do you need me to give you the hello-goodbye destiny wheel speech?”

            Frankie gave a small laugh, “No, I don’t think Dylan is my destiny. At least I hope not. I’m kind of over it with him. I would hate for him to be my soul mate and be bound to him for eternity.”

            Zach watched an ant crawl by, carrying a small crumb. They sit quietly together, each lost in his own thoughts. Frankie continued to stroke Zach’s hair, which gave them both comfort. Finally Zach spoke, breaking the silence, “Well, now I know why there are men on your public FaceBook page proposing marriage to you all the time.”

            Frankie laughed, “Some people think I am a catch.”

            Zach nodded, “You do look better as a blonde.”

            Frankie spoke in one of his many voices, an older, high-class, southern woman, “Well I do declare! You are going to turn my head with your sweet talk!”

            Zach giggled, burying his face into Frankie’s knee, “Frankie, stop!” He looked up at Frankie and Frankie booped his nose with his forefinger. “Are we okay now?”

            “Not okay yet, but better,” Zach answered truthfully.

            “I’ll settle for better, and work on it being okay,” Frankie said and stroked Zach’s cheek. He stopped and looked shocked. “You have whiskers!”

            Zach ran his hand over his cheek, “Yeah, I didn’t shave today.”

            Frankie shook his head with a laugh, “I was thinking earlier that puberty really did a number on you. I drove by here three times before I realized it was you playing ball. And who gave you permission to get taller than me?”

            Zach smiled and shrugged, “God? Genetics?” Then he got a serious look on his face. “Wait a minute, you said ‘part of the reason you came home’. What’s the other part?”

            Frankie gave a worried frown, pressed his lips tightly together, and began picking at his forehead. Zach, forgetting that he smelled bad, sat down next to Frankie on the bench. “What is it?” he asked, feeling his heart begin to race.

            Frankie shook his head, and then said, “It’s my grandpa. He’s been sick. Honestly, they tell me he is okay, but I’m worried.”

            Zach asked, “Was it serious?” but then could have kicked himself because obviously it was based on Frankie’s demeanor.

            “It was. Everybody is telling me that he is fine now, so I have to believe them.”

            “But you don’t.”

            “I want to.”

            Zach didn’t know what to say, so he reached out and patted Frankie’s leg. Frankie leaned to the side and placed his forehead against Zach’s shoulder. They stayed that way for a time. Eventually, Frankie sat up and dabbed at the tears that had gathered in the corners of his eyes.

            “See, this is the perfect example of why Dylan is not my soul mate. It is human nature to reach out to someone who is hurting. Do you want to know what he did when I told him about it? He checked his phone, told me not to worry, and then left. I don’t want to spend my life with someone who can’t be bothered with me when I need help.”

            “No, you don’t need somebody like that. Maybe one of those guys on your FaceBook page is your soul mate, and you don’t even know it yet!” Zach offered.

            “No, well, maybe. I guess anything is possible.” Frankie shrugged, and looked off in the distance for a second, “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you this, but Grandpa being sick, that’s family stuff. Nobody else knows.”

            “I won’t tell a soul! I just hope everything is really okay.” Zach said.

            “Me too,” Frankie said with a sigh, “Well, this certainly has been an eventful meeting. Do you have any plans? Maybe we could do something fun.”

            “Yeah! I would love that! Oh, wait! Crap, I can’t. I promised to watch Spud this afternoon so my folks could meet up with one of my aunts for lunch!”

            “Not a problem! How about I help you watch him? We could bring him here to play for a while.”

            “That would be great! I need to clean up first though,” Zach said.

            “Yeah, I need to change. How do I always forget the humidity here? I’m burning up! I’ll drop you off at your house and come pick you and Spud up, in about an hour. Is that okay?”

            “Perfect! I hate to ride in your car though. I reek.”

            Frankie laughed, “You don’t. And I wouldn’t care anyway.”

            They got into the car, and Frankie dropped the top down. He turned up Madonna, and they were on their way. As they neared Zach’s house, Frankie turned the volume down, to not freak out Zach’s neighbors. He pulled up outside Zach’s house and Zach remarked that he was surprised that Frankie still remembered where it was after all this time. Frankie told him that he had a good memory, but he didn’t tell him he had been cruising by it for the past two days.


	10. Chapter 10

            A little over an hour later, Frankie parked the car in front of Zach’s house and walked up to the door. He didn’t have a chance to ring the doorbell, because Zach had been watching for him, and snatched the door open. He explained that his parents had already left, but he was dying for Frankie to meet Spud.

It was only after Frankie was playing with Spud that Zach had a chance to focus on how Frankie was dressed. Teeny, tiny blue shorts, a pink and blue tank-top with deep arm holes, white sneakers with a wedge heel, and lots and lots of sparkly glitter on his arms and legs. When Zach focused on Frankie’s face, he saw that Frankie was wearing eyeliner and mascara. The tips of his hair, on top of the faux hawk were pink. He had also put a bunch of glitter near his eyes.

            Frankie watched Zach’s face as he took in Frankie’s look. “This is what I wear in New York. I figured if you want to know about the real me, you should see it. Are you shocked?”

            “Yeah! Dude…you look really…” he paused, open-mouthed, apparently trying to find the right word. “hot! It’s no wonder you get marriage proposals every day!!!”

            Frankie grinned. “I was going to offer to scrub it all off, but if it doesn’t bother you, then I will just keep it on.”

            “Yeah, I mean, no, don’t wash it off. I like it. It’s pretty. You are shiny!”

            They loaded up the booster seat and Spud in the backseat. They had a minor debate on whether to keep the top up or down, and finally decided on it being down. Frankie played Madonna, but not as loud as he ordinarily did, and the three of them went to the park.

            Peyton, aka Spud, always loved playing with his big brother, Zach, but he found that when you combine Zach and Frankie, the fun was over the top. They played with all the equipment, including the teeter-totter—Zach on one side, Frankie and Spud on the other. Zach let it hit hard every time he went down, which caused Frankie and Spud to bounce. Spud would start laughing in anticipation, and really lose it whenever Zach did it.

            Towards the end, Frankie suggested stopping by the ice cream stand, a suggestion that was quickly nixed by Zach.

            “He will make a mess and Mom will freak out when she sees it!”

            “No problem!” Frankie trotted to his car, and pulled a shirt out of the backseat. “Here, strip him down and put this on him!”

            So Zach pulled a $5.00 outfit from a discount store off of his brother, and replaced it with a designer shirt. The irony was not lost on him.

            Frankie bought the Rance brothers huge ice cream cones and a fountain drink for himself. He explained that he was lactose intolerant. Zach wasn’t sure what it meant, but Frankie told him it meant he couldn’t have anything with milk in it. As Zach ate his ice cream, he was thankful that he didn’t have it.

            After they finished, Peyton had ice cream everywhere. The guys took him to the men’s room and they washed him down very well, before dressing him back into his own clothes. Zach’s mom had eyes like a hawk, but even she wouldn’t have been able to tell that her preschooler had eaten a large, chocolate ice cream cone. He actually looked cleaner than he did before he left the house.

            It was a very short ride back to the Rance’s house, but Spud was already sound asleep by the time they arrived. Zach carried him into the house, and Frankie carried in the booster seat. Zach’s parents were already home. Mr. Rance took Peyton from Zach and carried him upstairs.

            “Hello Mrs. Rance,” Frankie said, “nice to see you again.” He noticed how she looked him up and down.

            “Have we met? I’m sure I would have remembered you,” she said.

            “Many times, actually. I am Frankie Grande,” Frankie stated.

            “Oh yes! The little Grande girl’s older brother! I didn’t recognize you. You’ve changed your, umm, hair, haven’t you?” she asked, puzzled. She looked around, “Is she here with you?”

            “No ma’am, it’s just me.”

            “Oh,” she said, and looked over at Zach who was biting the inside of his mouth to keep from laughing. “Well, uh…I’m sure it was very nice of you to bring the boys home.”

            Frankie looked over at Zach and grinned. “I guess that’s my cue. I’ll pick you up about 6:30, okay? And remember, don’t eat! I’m going to bring tons of leftovers.”

            “I won’t eat; I promise!” Zach said as he showed Frankie to the door. Once Frankie left, Mrs. Rance asked, “What was that all about?”

            “Frankie has to leave in the morning, so we are going to hang out tonight and catch up,” Zach said, then walked past her to go to his room.

            A few minutes later, Zach’s mom came into his room. “I just checked on your brother. Why does he have glitter all over him?”

            “No clue. Probably some kid did a craft there or something,” Zach lied, trying mightily not to smile.

            She gave him a long, searching look before she left the room, without saying anything else.


	11. Chapter 11

            Zach hurried in to take his second shower of the day, and while he was at it, he took time to shave. Afterwards, he headed to the kitchen to get something to drink. He wanted to sneak a snack, but he had promised Frankie he wouldn’t eat anything.

            His parents were at the table, and as he walked in, he felt tension in the air. His dad picked up a newspaper and pretended to be enthralled in some article.

            “Zachary, your father and I have been talking. We would like to know something. Are you dating that man?” his mother asked, while his father pretended to be invisible.

            “What man? You mean Frankie?!! No, of course not; Frankie is a friend. Why would you think that?”

            “I don’t know, it just sounded like a date when he said he’d pick you up.”

            “I don’t have a car. All of my friends pick me up. You never had a problem with it before, why now?”

            “Exactly how old is he?” she asked pointedly.

            Zach thought for a moment, “I’m not sure. I think about 24 or 25.”

            “That’s my point. Why is a man that age hanging around with a 17-year-old boy?”

            “We have been friends forever. I don’t know why he chooses to hang around with me. Maybe he thinks of me as a little brother. You’d have to ask him that. I don’t think his age is what’s bothering you though. I think it’s the fact that you think he is gay.”

            “I never said that.”

            “You didn’t have to. Let me ease your mind. He is gay, he has a boyfriend named Dylan, we are friends, and we are going to his house to be with a group of people including Ariana.”

            “Oh, I didn’t realize that. That’s okay then. That Ariana is a sweet girl.”

            “Yes, she is. How do you know that though? You’ve never met her.”

            “No, but you seem to be so fond of her, that I know she must be.” His mother was all smiles and his father took his face out of the newspaper to grab a cookie.

            Zach grabbed a glass of juice and left the kitchen. He went back to his room, and turned on some music. He didn’t know why he had lied about going to the Grande’s for a get together, or why it mattered to his mother where he was going. She never minded with any of his other friends. He scoffed and shook his head. He couldn’t imagine why she thought this was a date. He didn’t date guys.

            He caught sight of himself in the mirror and decided he didn’t like his shirt. He searched through his closet until he found one he liked. It was a black, button-down shirt. He put it on, buttoned it up and then decided it looked better with fewer buttons done. He undid a few, but thought it was too much, so he did up one more. Finally satisfied with his look, he felt sweaty, so he slid the deodorant applicator inside his shirt, and applied it, although he had just applied some after his shower. He drank his juice and then realized he needed to brush his teeth again. While he was brushing his teeth, he looked at his hair. It was okay, but could be better. He spent the next fifteen minutes messing with it. He finally gave up on it. It was the best he could do without getting a haircut. He sat down on his bed to wait. While he was sitting there, he noticed that the jeans he had on didn’t look as good with the button-down shirt as they had with the tee-shirt he was wearing earlier. He decided to change them. He rummaged through his jeans drawer until he found a darker pair. He put them on. Then he realized that the basketball shoes he had on were nasty. He got a rag from the bathroom and scrubbed the crud off of them.

            He sat back down and waited for Frankie to get there. His mouth was dry and he wanted to get something to drink, but then he would just have to brush his teeth again, so he decided not to get anything. He bit his nails. It made his hands look terrible, but it was a habit he couldn’t seem to break.

            He could hear Spud playing in the living room. He thought about going to play with him, but rejected the idea. He would just get sweaty and dirty.

            After ten eternities, he finally heard the low rumble of an engine, accompanied by a musical track of Madonna. He didn’t need to look. He knew that Frankie had arrived.

            He hurried out to the living room and found that Spud was looking out the window. He was bouncing up and down, loudly chanting, “Frankie! Frankie! Frankie!”

            Zach laughed. He opened the door and motioned for Frankie to come in. Frankie shut the car off and hopped out. He walked jauntily up the walkway with a huge smile. Zach was glad that he had changed his clothes when he saw Frankie in a white button-down shirt and skin tight jeans. He looked so good; Zach would have hated to look like a bum next to him.

            Frankie said, “Hey Zach! What’s up? Are you ready to go?”

            Zach laughed, “Hey Frankie. Somebody wanted to say ‘hello’ to you.” He held the door open for Frankie to step in. Spud was beside Zach, doing some kind of head down-running-dancing-wiggling thing in his excitement to see Frankie again. Zach actually knew how he felt; he always felt like that when he saw Frankie too. But it was hilarious to watch him.

            “Hey! Spuddy-Buddy!” Frankie laughed and swept Spud up in a big hug.

            Spud clung onto Frankie with such enthusiasm that Zach felt a tiny flicker of jealousy for a second. He never hugged Zach that way. But then he squelched the feeling. It was Frankie. Of course he was drawn to him. Who wouldn’t love Frankie?

            Frankie leaned over and whispered in Zach’s ear. Zach nodded, and called, “Ma!”

            She came out of the kitchen, and said, “What? Oh, hello. Frankie, right?”

            Zach rolled his eyes. She knew what his name was; she was just being a pain. “We are getting ready to leave but afraid that may cause some problems with Spud.”

            “I wish you wouldn’t call him that! His name is Peyton,” she scolded.

            Zach huffed, “Anyway, Frankie wondered if he could give _Peyton_ a c-o-o-k-i-e, to make it easier.”

            She thought about it for a second, and then shrugged, “He’s already eaten dinner, so that’s fine.”

            Frankie handed Spud over to Zach, and he began to pout immediately. “I’ll be right back! I have a surprise for you!”

            Zach walked to the door, still holding Spud, and watched Frankie rummaging around in the back seat of his car. He had left the top down, so he was bent over, reaching in. Zach casually wondered where Frankie bought his jeans. They fit so well, like a second skin. As for himself, he would never wear jeans like that, but they did look great on Frankie. It suddenly dawned on him that he was staring at his friend’s ass. It felt vaguely inappropriate, so he shifted his eyes. The sun casted a glare off of the street that caused Zach to squint. He switched his eyes away from the glare and they landed on Frankie again. Frankie rose up and turned to come back to the house.

            Spud started his, “Frankie! Frankie! Frankie!” chant again. Zach kissed the top of his head with a grin.

            Frankie entered the house, and handed Spud a cookie on a napkin. It wasn’t an ordinary cookie—the kind that looked like shapeless blobs of baked dough with icing smeared over the top. This cookie looked as if it was a work of art. It was a perfect cartoon turkey, with icing that had been applied like paint on a canvas. It flawlessly matched the napkin it was placed upon.

            Spud’s eyes grew huge at the sight of it. He reached over and hugged Frankie and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you, Frankie!” he said, with a tiny lisp.

            Frankie grinned and kissed Spud’s cheek, “You’re welcome, Spuddy-Buddy!”

            “Well, that was very nice,” Mrs. Rance said, “But you know the rules Peyton. You can only eat at the table.”

            Zach lowered him to the floor, and he scampered off to the kitchen to eat his cookie.

            “Let’s go!” Zach urged Frankie with a whisper.

            They hurried out to the car, and Frankie didn’t turn the music on until they were a couple of blocks away.

            “Where are we going?” Zach shouted over the music.

            “Murphy Beach,” Frankie shouted back.

            Zach nodded, but inside he was a bit confused. He had never been to Murphy Beach. The undertow was far too strong to swim there, so families went to the beaches where the water was calmer. Teens also hung out at the family-friendly beaches, albeit slightly farther down the beach than where the families gathered. Murphy Beach was known to be a date spot, for when you really wanted to be alone.

            They rode along without speaking after that, with Frankie driving way too fast. It appealed to Zach’s non-conformist side, so he loved it—top down, Madonna on full volume, speeding down the highway.

            They reached the beach, far too soon for Zach’s taste. He would have been happy to have just kept riding.

            Frankie parked the car, and turned off the key. The sudden silence was a bit unnerving to Zach, until he heard the sounds of the surf.

            “Oh good! We got here before anybody else. More than likely, we will get the beach alone tonight. Couples looking for a place to make out will go somewhere else,” Frankie said. Which confirmed to Zach that Frankie was aware this was a date spot. Zach wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

            Frankie hopped out and began pulling stuff out of the trunk. He asked Zach to grab the picnic basket out of the backseat. Frankie had armloads of things; Zach just had the picnic basket to carry as they walked down to the beach. He offered to take some things, but Frankie assured him he was fine.

            They selected a spot up a bit from the high tide line and set their stuff down. Frankie had a blanket wrapped up in a bundle, so he unrolled it and promptly sat down on it. He had some leather cases with him, and he began opening them and Zach saw they contained an amazing camera set with lots of different lenses, and a compact tripod.

            “This has always been my favorite spot,” Frankie explained. “When I am in New York and start feeling homesick, this is one of the places I think about. I like how desolate it is. It kind of makes me feel like I’m the only person left in the world. I decided that this time when I visited, I was going to take some pictures of it to keep a tiny piece of it with me in New York.”

            “That’s a good idea, but having me here kind of ruins the whole ‘only person left in the world’ thing, doesn’t it?” Zach asked.

            Frankie pointed his camera at Zach and took a bunch of shots of him. He laughed as Zach tried to duck away from the camera. “No, not really. If I am going to be one of the last people left on earth, I’m glad I have you for company. Have you ever been here?”

            “No. It’s a make-out beach. I would need a car and a date to come here. It is nice though. Not touristy; just natural. I can see why you like it.”

            “I heard about it a lot when I was in high school. I drove out here one day, and I thought it was amazing. I could see why it became a make-out spot.”

            “Have you ever brought a date here?” Zach asked, and for some reason his stomach clinched up.

            “Nope. I always end up in this spot, but I have always come alone. But tonight, I didn’t want to choose between being with my favorite person, and being at my favorite place, so I thought I would combine the two. You don’t mind, do you?”

            “No, I love it. It’s one of those secret places that everybody knows about, but nobody’s actually been there.”

            “Good!” Frankie said, then handed Zach a jacket, “It can get pretty breezy here at night. I brought a couple of jackets; you might need this after the sun goes down.”

            Frankie began to set up the tripod to take some pictures of the ocean, and Zach wandered around collecting seashells to take home to Spud. There were hundreds of them. Apparently since it was basically an abandoned beach, no one had bothered to collect them for ages. He was actually surprised that he didn’t see heaps of beer cans and used condoms, based on the reputation of the beach, but there wasn’t any. It actually looked as if they were the first people to ever have been here. Then he realized that there had been a hurricane that came pretty close to land a month or so ago. The storm probably washed all that garbage away.

            Since the shells were so plentiful, he chose only the most perfect ones to collect. Then, in the crevice of an outcropping of rock, he found a scallop shell that was partially buried with dried sand. He liked scallop shells the best and this was the first one he had seen since he had begun his search. He sat down on the sand and started digging it out. When he finally freed it, he lifted it up and was happy to see that it was pristine. He happened to glance down and saw a piece of sea glass that the shell had been covering. He loved how the sea could take a piece of trash and polish it until it looked like a jewel. He picked it up, and discovered there was another piece underneath it. He gathered them up and took them to rinse off in the water. After the dirt was washed away, he held them up in the light. He was surprised to find that both pieces had two different colors of glass. Based on the colors and the pattern, it seemed obvious that they had came from the same container at one point.

            He was still looking at them when Frankie climbed down the rocks to where he was. He took a couple of pictures from his new vantage point, before noticing that Zach was concentrating on something.

            “Did you find something good?” he asked.

            “A couple of pieces of sea glass,” Zach said, still studying them.

            “I love sea glass,” Frankie said, moving over closer to get a look, “People threw a piece of junk into the ocean, and the ocean makes it beautiful.”

            Zach laughed, “Get out of my head!”

            “You too, huh?”

            “Did you ever see a piece with two colors?” Zach asked.

            “Yeah, well, it was clear with green. Did you find one?”

            “No, two. Odd ones. Here, take a look.” Zach said, handing them to Frankie.

            Frankie studied them for a bit before handing them back. “Amazing! I wonder if they came from a lamp or something. I love them! I know of a shop that makes jewelry out of sea glass. I bet the artist would pay you pretty well for these.”

            “No, I don’t want to sell them.” Zach stated decidedly. He placed them in his hand and extended it to Frankie. “Pick one, and I’ll keep the other.”

            Frankie picked one, “Are you sure?” he asked.

            “Yep,” Zach said, pocketing the other one.

            Frankie examined it again. “I have seen pink glass before, but not this shade of blue, and certainly never together. I bet whatever it came from was really beautiful. Usually sea glass comes from an old soda or medicine container. This is something more special than that. Thank you! I love it.” He slipped it in the front pocket of his jeans. “So, have you found any good shells?”

            They examined Zach’s finds, and carried them back to the blanket. They were both getting hungry so they unpacked the picnic basket, and found a large amount of everything that had been on the Grande’s Thanksgiving table the day before.

            “Wait, before we eat, will you use this and dig a hole? I’ll be right back.” Frankie handed Zach a small spade and took off at a run.

            Zach wasn’t sure how big or how deep of a hole Frankie wanted, but he was willing, so he started digging. Before long, Frankie reappeared, carrying a handled, canvas bag, full of wood.

            “Perfect!” he said, dropping the wood near the hole. “Let’s build a fire.”

            “Are we allowed?” Zach asked. “You can’t have fires on most beaches.”

            Frankie made a great show of looking as far to the right as he could, and then to the left. “Well, I don’t see a sign saying not to, and I don’t see any police nearby, so I’m guessing it’s allowed.” And he bent down and began to arrange the wood in the hole that Zach had dug.

            Before long, they had a good blaze going. The sun was setting in the west; and twilight was already approaching their area. They ate by the fire light. After they were full, they cleaned up the mess and lay back on the blanket, staring at the stars that were just beginning to show their faces. They talked about everything and nothing, and came up with solutions to all the world’s problems. A few times, Frankie would mentally censor himself in respect for Zach’s age, but mostly they spoke honestly and openly together.

            After a while, Frankie got chilly and sat up to put on his jacket. He was wearing three necklaces, and one of them got tangled in the back of his hair. Zach very gently helped him to get it untangled.

            “Probably one too many,” Frankie remarked.

            “No, they look nice.”

            “Really, which one is the best?” Frankie asked, looking down, trying to see them.

            Two of them had pendants, which were nice, but one of them was just a plain silver chain. That was the one that Zach liked best. When he told Frankie, Frankie took it off and offered to give it to Zach.

            “No, Frankie! I couldn’t take your necklace!” Zach protested.

            “Yes you can; you most certainly can! Consider it a trade for that beautiful piece of sea glass you gave me.” Frankie said as he put the necklace on Zach and clasped it in the back.

            “That was a piece of sea junk that I found!”

            “Okay, well this is a piece of metal that I found.”

            “In a jewelry store! And not for free!” Zach objected.

            “Yes, but you have no idea how much you could have sold the sea glass for, so we are even.” Frankie argued. “Just take it. I want you to have it.”

            Frankie flopped down on his stomach. “I’ve been thinking about that cheddar cheese kid.”

            “Boyd? It was Swiss cheese.” Zach stated, lying back down on the blanket beside Frankie.

            “Whatever,” Frankie said, waving his hand. “Why do you think he is back on the scene? He’s been gone for years.”

            “He’s been around the school,” Zach offered.

            “Yes, but not to the parties at my house; not friends with anybody who goes to them. Now he is.”

            “No idea. Honestly, I didn’t even think about it.”

            “I know that you like Molly and that you ask her out all the time…” Frankie began.

            “And she turns me down all the time!” Zach interjected with a laugh.

            “Is your heart set on her? Do you think she is the one?” Frankie asked.

            Zach laughed. “No! She’s not really my type. I just ask her out to get her pissed. It’s funny when she gets mad.”

            Frankie rolled over on his back. “That’s good, because I have a feeling that it is possible that she and Boyd are on the hello-goodbye wheel of destiny.”

            “Really?!!” Zach asked, with a bit of astonishment. “What makes you think that?”

            “He dressed up like a piece of cheese for her. Can you imagine doing that for someone, ‘cause I sure can’t. And now, what is it…three years later, he is hanging around her all the time. I think he is trying to get back with her.”

            “She doesn’t seem too interested in him though,” Zach said. “At least not that I have seen.”

            “Interesting. I wonder which is stronger, free will or destiny.” Frankie pondered.

            This led them down a fascinating avenue of discussion and debate that lasted a long time. They weighed all the elements, and finally both decided that free will was stronger than destiny.

            “All the same, I am interested in what happens between Boyd and Molly, so you have to keep me in the loop. I ship it.” Frankie said.

            “You what it?”

            “I ship it. It is a relationship that I think would be a good one. I’m shipping them, kind of like saying I am rooting for them…cheering them on.”

            “Oh. Okay, now I get it. I’ll stop messing with her, and get out of Boyd’s way. Now I am interested in it too. Funny, I never cared about something like that before. I guess I ship them too.”

            “Moyd or Bolly?” Frankie asked.

            Zach rolled to his side to peer at Frankie. “Did you have a stroke? You’re making sounds, but they aren’t words.”

            Frankie began to giggle. “No,” more giggling, “it’s a mash up.”

            “It sounds more like a mix up. Seriously, you lost me. I have no idea what you mean.” Zach said with a grin in response to Frankie’s laughter.

            Frankie held his hands up to demonstrate: “Molly + Boyd, you take the first part of her name and add it to the last part of his name and you get ‘Moyd’, ooh…you could also get ‘Molyd’,” here he burst into laughter again because it sounded a lot like ‘mold’. He caught his breath, “Or you could do it Boyd + Molly and get ‘Bolly’. Do you see what I mean?”

            Zach rolled back over onto his back again, and said with a grin, “I get it. Seems a little weird. Do you do this a lot?”

            Frankie turned his head and gave Zach a huge smile, “All the time, with my friends. It’s fun! So, what do we call them?”

            Zach thought about it for a bit, “I am tempted to pick the moldy one, but I think the ‘Bolly’ one is really the best.”

            “I agree. That’s the one I would have picked, too.” He stuck his hand out and Zach shook it. “We are officially on the Bolly ship now.”

            “So, do we have a secret handshake, badges, team jackets?” Zach teased.

            “Nope, just the combined hope that a couple is happy together.”

            Zach nodded, “Good enough. So, are you excited about your MCing thing tomorrow?” He felt a bit chilly, so he sat up and pulled on the jacket that Frankie had brought for him.

            Frankie nodded, and then sat up and looked at the water. After a few moments, he turned and looked at Zach. “Okay, you want me to be honest with you and tell you things. I will tell you something, but it has to stay between us.”

            “I won’t tell a soul. I swear!”

            Frankie nodded again. “After my ‘Boots’ gig ended, I started doing smaller, shorter run parts in regional theaters—I’ve told you that. But, there is something I haven’t told you. Somewhere along the line I developed a reputation for being able to spot a good party. If I went to a party or a club, it became the ‘in’ place to be. People began to hire me to attend their events. Can you imagine that? I got paid to go to parties! Anyway, it was fun and very lucrative, it’s also how I gained so many followers on social media—but I want to do something more. Something real. This MCing gig is a first step in my plan. I lost sight of my goals for a while, but I am getting back on track.”

            “What’s your main goal?” Zach asked when Frankie finished.

            Frankie gave a small smile, “Broadway. I don’t know when or how, but one day my name is going to be on a marquee on Broadway.”

            “You’ll make it, Frankie! I know you will. You’re the most Broadway person I’ve ever seen! You were made for it. One day I will come and watch you perform on a Broadway stage, I promise you that!”

            Frankie smiled at him. “It’s a shame you have no faith in me. Oh well, at least I can count on your mother being my biggest fan.”

            Zach let out a bark of laughter before stifling it quickly. “She just doesn’t understand why you would want to hang around with me because I am so young.”

            “Okay”, Frankie said, “If she asks again, tell her it’s because you are one of my favorite people on the planet; it wouldn’t matter if you were two, twenty-two, or two hundred and two years old.”

            Zach nodded, even though he knew he would never tell her that. “I wish I could watch you tomorrow. I remember when you MCed your last recital at the Haynes Studio. It was amazing.”

            Frankie grinned. “I gave you my autograph. That was a great night. Do you have an app for video calls?”

            “I have one on my phone but I’ve never used it.”

            “I could add you to my account. Tomorrow, if you want, I could get one of my friends to call you on it, and you could watch.”

            “Really?!! That would be excellent!”

            Frankie nodded, “It’s a plan then. As for now, I think we’d better be leaving soon. It’s getting late.”

            Frankie took their empty cups and filled them with water from the ocean’s edge, and brought them back and poured them on the dying embers of their fire. Zach then stirred the wet ashes with a stick, and then pulled all the sand that he had dug earlier on top of the hole he had dug. Frankie replaced his cameras, lenses, and tripods back in their bags. Together they folded up the blanket, after giving it a thorough shake to remove the sand.

            “I’ll be right back,” Frankie said, and took off on a run to the car. He returned with the shirt he had loaned Spud earlier to wear while eating his ice cream, and handed it to Zach.

            “What’s this for?”

            “To wrap up the shells to take to Spud, you have too many to carry in your hands.”

            “Frankie!!! That’s a designer shirt! I can’t wrap shells in it!” Zach protested.

            “Okay, then I will.” Frankie tossed the shirt on the sand, next to the shells, tossed them all on it, and then tied the arms around it to make a bundle. He picked up the bundle and handed it to Zach. “There, now take this home to Spud. Are you ready?”

            Zach took a last look around, picked up the picnic basket, and nodded, “I’m ready.”

            Frankie picked up his things and they made their way to the car. “Top up or down?”

            Zach grinned, “Down.” Frankie grinned and nodded.

            It seemed like the ride home was a lot shorter than the ride there had been. Frankie turned the music off before they approached the residential area.

            They pulled up in front of Zach’s house, and Frankie turned off the engine. “Earlier today you said we were better, but not okay. Are we okay now?”

            Zach smiled. “We are okay. I was just being stupid.”

            “No, you were being honest. Your feelings were hurt and you told me about it. Pretty mature.” He reached over and ruffled Zach’s hair. “So, if you are sure you want to watch me tomorrow night, I’ll call you about ten minutes before I go on, right around 7:20.”

            “Yes, I really want to watch you. Don’t forget!”

            “I won’t. Now, get out of my car,” Frankie said with a grin.

            Zach pulled the jacket off that Frankie had loaned him.

            “You can keep that,” Frankie said, pushing it back when Zach tried to hand it to him.

            “No, I don’t think I will get cold walking up to the house,” Zach said with a grin. “Besides, I already have to figure out how to get your shirt back to you.”

            Frankie smiled, “Just keep it!”

            “No, I’ll give it back to you when I see you again. So, when will that be?”

            “Tomorrow night, on your phone.” Frankie cocked his head and smiled.

            It was so spontaneous that even Zach was surprised when he lunged across the console and grabbed Frankie into a big hug. “I’m going to miss you Frankie!”

            Frankie patted his back, “No you’re not. You’ll see me tomorrow.”

            “It won’t be the same as seeing you in person.”

            “It’s the best we can do for now though. Maybe one day, you can come to New York.”

            “Maybe. No, no ‘maybe’. I will come there and see you!”

            “When you are twenty-one. That way we can paint the town red together!” Frankie said, patting Zach’s back and starting to ease out of the hug.

            Zach tightened the hug for a second, and then eased away. “I’m going to hold you to that,” he said, reaching for the door handle, “Break a leg, Frankie!”

            “Make sure your battery is charged tomorrow! I’ll be calling you right before I go on.”

            Zach nodded and smiled, and then hurried up the walkway to his house. At the door, he turned and waved to Frankie, who returned his wave and then drove away.


	12. Chapter 12

             Zach was surprised to find his mother sitting in the living room, reading, when he walked in. She ordinarily went to bed early.

            “What’s the matter, couldn’t you sleep?” he asked her with genuine concern.

            “The leftovers were calling for me. I came down for a snack, and then thought I would just enjoy some quiet time.” She seemed to be starting intently at Zach, which made him feel fidgety. “Did you have a nice evening? What’s in the bundle?”

            “Oh, it’s just some seashells.” Zach answered.

            “I see. So you went to the beach?” She asked still studying his face.

            “Yeah, we had a picnic,” he answered, becoming more uncomfortable by her searching looks. “Well, I think I am going to head to bed now.”

            “Okay. So, your friend is leaving in the morning, you said?”

            “Yeah. He lives in New York.”

            She nodded, “Goodnight.”

            Zach entered his room and closed the door with a sigh. He didn’t know what her problem was, he was just glad he had escaped it. He sat down on his bed and opened the bundle. He looked through the shells, and put the scallop shell to the side. He decided that he was going to keep that one. It was his favorite, and it was also the reason he had found those matching pieces of sea glass. He reached into the front pocket of his pants to assure himself that it was still there. He took it out and admired it under the lamp by his bed. It was nicer than he had remembered. It made him happy to know that Frankie had its twin. Frankie would probably put it away somewhere and forget about it, but Zach promised himself that he wouldn’t. He was always going to keep it in his pocket to remember the perfect day he’d had.

            Since it was too late to give Spud the shells, he decided that he would transfer them into a bag. He eased his door open and looked out. He was relieved to see that his mother had gone to bed. He went into the kitchen and got a plastic grocery bag and took it with him. He paused in the living room and stared at the place his mother had been sitting. He relived the conversation he had had with her mentally. He still could not figure out what her close scrutiny had been about.

            Back in his room he placed the shells for Spud into the bag and placed the bag on his desk. Zach knew that the boy would be super excited to get them. One day, when he was older, it would dawn on him that he lived in Florida, and stop thinking of seashells as treasure, but for now he still did. However, to be truthful, Zach had always thought of seashells as treasure too, which was one of the reasons he was going to keep the scallop shell.

            He took his shell and placed it on the nightstand, face down so that it made a little holder. He took his piece of sea glass and placed it there. He was changing into his pajamas when it finally hit him why his mother was acting so weird. He had told her earlier in the evening that he was going to the Grande’s house for a get together, and he came home with seashells, telling her about the picnic on the beach. She had caught him in a lie, but hadn’t said anything. He really couldn’t figure that one out. Why had she let it slide? And honestly, why had she pinned him down so hard in the first place? She usually didn’t even bother to ask him where he was going, or with whom, just as long as he was home by curfew, she was okay. And Frankie had gotten him home in plenty of time before his curfew, so there shouldn’t have been a problem.

            He headed to the bathroom to brush his teeth. Of course, she did have that odd notion earlier in the day that he and Frankie were dating. That had to have been the reason for her strange behavior. He loaded his toothbrush with toothpaste and looked up into the mirror. He saw that the entire right side of his face had glitter on it. And it was thick enough that he could see that it was pink. It had to have happened when Zach grabbed Frankie for the hug in the car. He must have slid his face across Frankie’s smearing it onto his own face, because Frankie had only had it near his eyes. If his mother had happened to look outside the window at that moment, would it have looked like Zach was kissing Frankie? He stifled his laughter the entire time he was brushing, only allowing it to finally come out once he reached the safety of his room.

            He saw that he had received a couple of texts while his was in the bathroom. He opened them up and saw they were from Frankie and were pictures from earlier today, in the park with Spud. One of them was a selfie of the three of them, Spud in the middle, dressed in Frankie’s designer shirt with his face covered in chocolate ice cream. Zach saved all of the pictures, and made that one his desktop picture.

            He texted back to thank him for the pictures, and asked, as if it was an afterthought, how to get glitter off his face.

            Frankie texted back-- _“lol! Lots of soap, lots of water, lots of scrubbing, and a few days! Next time, you might want to look before you leap.”_

            Zach texted back, _“Nah!”_


	13. Chapter 13

            The next evening, Zach made sure that his phone was fully charged, that he had on a nice shirt, and that his hair looked passable, as he prepared to head off to the park. He didn’t want to take the chance on someone in his family interrupting the call, so he bolted down his dinner and told his mom he was going to practice basketball. To make the lie seem real, he picked up his basketball and headed to the door.

            “Wait a minute,” his mother called out to him, “isn’t that shirt a little bit fancy for playing basketball?”

            “You never know who you might meet! I’ll take it off before I start playing so it doesn’t get ruined,” he said as he hurried out the door. He hopped on his skateboard and rode it to the park. Ordinarily he would have walked, however, it was going to be late evening by the time the show was over, and he wanted something that would get him home quickly. Something that could help him outrun raccoons.

            He made his way to the bench next to the basketball goal, and was happy to find no one was around. The little kids from the neighborhood had gone in for the evening, and the majority of the teenagers, whom were all his friends, were grounded. He was thankful that he had been at the dentist that day or else he would have been with them when they got busted. He would have missed yesterday with Frankie, and he wouldn’t be getting ready to watch Frankie perform.

            He would have been against what they were planning on doing to the Principal’s car, but he would have gone along with it. He wasn’t strong in the face of peer pressure. He knew it, and he knew he needed to work on it.

            At exactly 7:20, the app on his phone alerted him that he had a call. He answered; expecting it to be one of Frankie’s friends, but it was Frankie. Zach’s jaw dropped at the sight of him.

            Frankie’s costume was something like a cross between a feral cat/vampire/circus ringmaster. His hair, eyebrows, eyelashes, and cheek stubble had been darkened to the extent that they looked black. His eyes were a brilliant emerald green. His eye make-up was pulled out into wings on the sides of his eyes and they made his eyes look like a cat’s. He wore a black top-hat that was cocked to the side, and it had black jewels and a grouping of black feathers on it. His coat was a tuxedo jacket with super long tails, and it was the color of dried blood. His pants were so tight it looked as if it was paint instead of material. He wore shiny black boots that came up to his mid-thigh. Instead of a shirt, his chest was covered in silver glitter. His fingernails were painted black, and he wore large, silver rings on his fingers.

            “Hi Zach! So,” he said as he gestured to his outfit, “do you like it?”

            Zach couldn’t speak, he just nodded. Then quickly said, “Yes.”

            Frankie laughed. “It’s okay, video call…I could see you nod. Oh, wait! I forgot the best part!” He handed his phone to someone whom Zach couldn’t see, and reached over to the side and pulled out a long whip. He pointed it carefully to the side, and then gave it a mighty crack. He laid the whip down on a chair nearby and came and took the phone back.

            “Is it like a vampire circus?” Zach asked, once he found his voice.

            “Gothic, but vampire is a pretty good description. Do you like my ‘shirt’?” Frankie laughed. “I have had this crazy idea for a glitter shirt since I was a kid. I told it to the costume department and they knew some Vegas showgirls who use body glitter. So now I finally know how to make it stick.”

            “It’s amazing! Going to be a bitch to get it all off though!” Zach laughed, “I had a heck of a time getting it off my face.”

            Frankie grinned, “I hate to tell you this, but in the light, I can still see some near your ear. I know that background. Are you sitting on our bench by the basketball court?”

            Zach felt himself grinning like an idiot, but couldn’t seem to stop it. Frankie had said ‘our bench’. Zach had mentally been calling it that since the first time they sat on it together. “Yeah, I didn’t want any interruptions, so I came to the park to watch you.”

            Frankie gave him a quick tour of the backstage area, which Zach found fascinating. “I almost forgot!” Frankie exclaimed, “Look what I have with me.” He reached his jacket pocket and pulled out the piece of sea glass that Zach had given him.

            Zach grinned and pulled his matching piece of sea glass out of the front pocket of his jeans and showed Frankie.

            Frankie smiled at the sight, “I’m so glad you found these. I like feeling as if you are with me.”

            A bell sounded. “Uh-oh! That’s my cue. Here, this is my friend, Shawn. Shawn, say hi to Zach.”

            A man appeared on the screen, “Hi Zach!”

            “Hi Shawn!”

            “Shawn is in control of my phone tonight. He is going to make sure you see everything. I have to run now.”

            “Break a leg, Frankie!” Zach called out.

            “Okay, you didn’t see him but he waved.” Shawn said. He turned the camera around so that Zach could see his face. “We’re going to go to our seat now. I had no idea when I volunteered to film this that I was going to be sitting in the best seat of the house. We won’t miss a thing. I have a tripod set up so you won’t see any camera movement.”

            Zach could hear the difference when they entered the audience area of the theater—the buzz of conversation, programs rustling, and an occasional cough. The camera was focused on Shawn’s face, but Zach could see that the lighting was dimmer here too.

            “You might want to look away. I’m going to attach the phone to the tripod. It is going to be jumpy for a second,” Shawn advised. Zach looked over at the other side of the bench, remembering Frankie setting there the day before.

            “Okay, you’re locked in now. Enjoy the show!” Shawn said, and his face disappeared from view.

            Zach had an unobstructed view of the stage. After a few moments, everything went dark. The audience became quiet. Zach could hear the sound of footsteps as hard heels hit the wooden floor of the stage.

            Suddenly, right in front of him, a spotlight was switched on, and Frankie was there. He was alone on the stage and he stood there in silence. Music began to play, and Frankie sang and danced to the Britney Spears song, “Circus”. He was carrying the whip, and cracked it every time the words of the song were, “when I crack that whip…”. Zach was enthralled. He had been so impressed with Frankie’s performance skills when he was ten and had gone to the Haynes studio recital, but Frankie skills had grown exponentially, which Zach would have never thought possible. One of the turns took Frankie right in front of the camera. He casually touched his jacket pocket where he was carrying the sea glass, and he shot a small wink to Zach, before dancing away from the spot.

            The applause at the end of his routine was thunderous. Zach couldn’t join in because he couldn’t hold the phone and clap. Frankie looked over to the phone, and Zach screamed, “Amazing!” at him. Frankie probably didn’t hear him, but he must have been able to read his lips because his smile broadened, and he threw another wink at Zach.

            The show was packed with very professional acts, but Zach only cared about the periods between the acts, when Frankie was onstage. The next two hours passed quickly. Frankie had told Zach that people paid a lot of money for their tickets, and in Zach’s opinion, they didn’t get ripped-off.

            Shawn’s face appeared in the screen, “I’m going to unhook you from the tripod now; you might want to look away until I’m done."

            Zach looked around the empty park; surprised at how dark it had gotten.

            “Okay, got it,” Shawn said.

            Zach looked back at the screen and met Shawn’s smiling face.

            “Pretty fantastic show, right?” he asked.

            “Yes! It was great! Please make sure you tell Frankie that I said thanks and that he did great. I mean, I’ll send him a message later, but…” Zach fumbled to explain.

            Shawn smiled, “You can tell him yourself. We are almost at his dressing room.” He turned the phone around so that Zach could see Frankie’s closed door, with his name plaque on it. Shawn’s hand came around and Zach could see him turn the door knob. The door eased open, and Zach saw Frankie inside. A man was kissing him and it was a passionate kiss.

            The camera swung around and Zach saw Shawn’s face again. “Uh…well, it looks like Frankie is a bit busy at the moment, and the battery is getting ready to die. I’ll give him your message. Anything else you want me to tell him?”

            Zach felt sick to his stomach. He assumed the man was Dylan, but didn’t want to ask Shawn. He didn’t enjoy seeing him all over Frankie that way. Without giving it any thought, he blurted, “Yeah. Ask him to send me a picture in his costume.”

            Shawn smiled, “I’ll do that. It was nice ‘meeting’ you, and thanks for getting me a front row seat tonight!” He said goodbye, and then the line went dead.

            Zach sat on the bench for a long time before going home.


	14. Chapter 14

            Before he went to bed, he sent a text to Frankie, thanking him for letting him see the show; and to tell him how wonderful he thought Frankie had been in it. When he woke up the next morning, he saw that Frankie had texted him back, much later in the night. Someone had recorded parts of the show and had posted them to YouTube. He sent Zach the links. All Zach was interested in was Frankie’s performance, so he clicked on that link.

            The performance was from a different angle than Zach’s had been. While watching it, occasionally he caught a glimpse of the phone on the tripod, and he knew that was where he had been “sitting” the night before. He could see the moment where Frankie had patted his pocket to the phone. He couldn’t see the wink, but he knew that’s when it happened. At the end of the number, he could see Frankie slightly turn his head to the direction of the phone.

            He turned on his computer and entered the address of the YouTube clip. Both times he had seen the performance it had been on a tiny phone screen. He wanted to see it bigger. If he could have, he would have wanted to watch it projected against a screen like at a movie theater.

            It began to play again, and Zach overwhelmed at how much better it was on a bigger screen. He played it numerous times; he couldn’t seem to stop watching it.

            Spud must have heard the music outside his door, because he opened it up and ran into Zach’s room. He looked at the screen and joyfully shouted, “Frankie!” Zach was surprised that Spud knew who it was that quickly because Frankie looked so different in his costume, but there was no fooling him. Zach started it from the beginning so Spud could see all of it.

            Spud had him play it again when it reached the end. This time, Spud began to dance too, in a clumsy preschooler way. Zach grabbed his phone and started filming him. He made sure to catch the video of Frankie in the background.

            “What are you doing, Spud?” he asked.

            Peyton turned and saw that Zach was filming him, and said with a huge grin, “I’m dancing with Frankie!”

            Zach sent the video of Spud to Frankie, with the text—“The Frankie Grande fan club, Florida chapter”.

            They watched Frankie’s video a few more times together. Every time the video began with the dark stage, and the click of heels against the wooden floor, Zach felt his heart begin to race in expectation of the sight of Frankie. Spud must have felt the same way, because every time the spotlight first hit Frankie, he would squeal.

            “Peyton, I sent you in here to get your brother ages ago! What’s taking you boys so long to come to the table?” Their mother said from the doorway.

            Peyton ran to her, took her by the hand, and pulled her over to the computer. “Look! Frankie!” he said.

            Zach watched her watching the video. Her face was expressionless, as if it were frozen, or carved out of stone. Her hand was on her throat.

            When it was over, she said, “Well, he certainly is talented, isn’t he? I wouldn’t have known that was him. He looks very different in that costume. Come along now boys, your father is waiting for us and the food is getting cold.”

            They ate in silence, except for a mild humming coming from Peyton. He was no musical genius, but Zach could hear a faint resemblance to “Circus”. Peyton had his spoon in his hand, and with no warning, he flicked it and sang out, “When I crack that whip!”

            Their mother jerked out of her deep concentration of her plate. “Peyton, you scared the life out of me! Eat your food; we are all going shopping after breakfast.”

            Their father lowered the newspaper he had been reading, and peered over the top of it at her. “We are?”

            “Yes. Peyton needs new shoes and there are wonderful sales going on at the mall.” She answered.

            Zach groaned. “Ugh. Why do I have to go with you to get shoes for him?”

            “It would be nice to do something as a family. But, I guess you don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” she said with a sigh.

            Zach felt guilty. He was about to give in and agree to go when his father said, “Actually, I was planning on having Zach do some chores around here today. He has been asking for more allowance, so I think it would be best if he stayed home and got to work earning it.”

            Zach gave his father a questioning glance. He hadn’t been asking for more allowance. His father gave him a little nod and went back to reading the newspaper.

            “I suppose that’s settled then. If your father wants you to stay home and work, then you need to do it.” She went back to eating her breakfast.

            Before they left, his father gave him a list of chores. It really didn’t amount to much, and he knew that his dad had just made up a few things to get him out of going on the shopping trip. He was grateful, so he did the chores quickly and then headed back to his room. He watched Frankie’s video a few more times, read the comments, all raves—some of them were offers of marriage or “fun times”, and then went on Frankie’s private FaceBook page. It seemed like just about everyone he knew was on there, discussing Frankie’s video. He stayed on there, chatting with everybody for quite a while, but Frankie never came online. Of course he didn’t tell anybody that he had watched Frankie on a video call while he performed it. It seemed like something that should stay between the two of them. And Shawn, too; but only because someone had to be in control of the phone.

            Zach’s family returned late afternoon, bearing bags of take-out food with them. He was happy to see that. He was tired of eating leftovers from Thanksgiving.

            Peyton was happy about his new shoes, and showed them to Zach almost a half dozen times. At first it was cute, but Zach started getting aggravated around the fifth time Peyton wanted him to look at them and snapped at him to go away and leave him be.

            He felt bad for it, and tried to think of something that would make up to the little guy for snapping at him. He looked around his room and his eye fell on the plastic sack that contained the seashells. He had forgotten to give them to Peyton earlier. He took the bag out to the living room where the family was sitting, watching TV together.

            “Hey Spud! I forgot to give you something,” he said as he handed his brother the bag. The little boy looked inside the bag, and his face lit up. He looked up at Zach and asked, “For me? Really?”

            “Yeah, they’re all for you; from Frankie and me.” As he spoke the last part, out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw a grimace flash across his mother’s face. When he turned his eyes to her, the look was gone. He wasn’t sure if he had really seen it, or had just imagined it. But, it didn’t matter, Spud was happy, and Zach didn’t have to feel guilty about snapping at him earlier.

\----------

            School resumed, and along with it, so did Zach’s friends’ detention. Since he was making an effort to stay out of Boyd and Molly’s way, Zach didn’t join the Haynes’ kids after school. He usually just walked home, and found that he actually liked spending a bit of time alone every day.

            A few days into the week, as he was leaving the school, he looked over to the picnic table and saw that Boyd and Molly were there alone. They seemed to be deeply into a conversation. In the days before he started shipping Bolly, he would have gone over there just to mess with them. Now he found it more interesting to just observe them from afar. He pulled out his phone and took a few pictures of them and sent them off to Frankie.

            Frankie texted back almost immediately: _“Hooray! It looks like our ship is going to sail!”_

            Zach smiled at the text. He was new to all this shipping stuff, but it sure seemed to make Frankie happy. And it gave them something to share. He was all for that.

            Instead of going directly home, he stopped by the laundry/dry cleaners to pick up Frankie’s shirt. The label had said it was machine washable, but Zach didn’t want to just throw it into the washing machine with his $10.00 shirts from Krestler’s. And he wasn’t sure what to do to get the chocolate ice cream stains out of it. Frankie’s shirt had to be perfect, so he took it to a professional.

            He was happily surprised that it didn’t cost more to clean it than it did. They even pressed it after it was cleaned. He carefully carried it home and took it directly into the house. He hung it on the rod in his closet; it was in the first position. That way it wouldn’t get messed up when Zach rummaged through his clothes to find something to wear.

            He went back out to get the mail and saw a big envelope from New York with his name on it. Even if he hadn’t looked at the return address, Zach would have known that handwriting anywhere. Although he was alone in the house, he still scurried off to his room and closed the door before he sat down on his bed and opened it. The envelope contained an 8x10 picture of Frankie, on stage, in his ringmaster costume and make-up. It was stunning. During the routine, with Frankie singing and dancing, it wasn’t possible to study all the details. This picture captured them so that Zach could get the full effect. Frankie was even holding the whip. Zach was overwhelmed with the beauty of it. On the bottom, right-hand corner, Frankie had written: _“Zach, thanks for being here for me! FJG”_ in black ink. Under that he had drawn two happy faces, one was pink and one was blue. Zach smiled and reached into his pocket and pulled out his piece of sea glass. Spontaneously he gave it a kiss, and then put it back in his pocket.

            Frankie had enclosed a note. He explained that Shawn was a photography buff, so when Zach had requested a picture of Frankie in his costume, Shawn was elated. (So much so that, Frankie assured Zach, Shawn would be Zach’s friend for life) He had taken several shots that night, took forever to pick the one that he thought was best, and then kept working on it with photo editing software. Frankie had finally insisted that it was good enough, and that is why it took so long to get the picture to him.

            Zach had assumed that Shawn had forgotten to tell Frankie he wanted a picture, so he was thrilled to have it. He had hoped for a simple snapshot, but instead received something that looked like it belonged in a fashion magazine. And the message on the bottom made him smile every time his eye wandered there.

            He hated the idea of putting that picture in his Monopoly box. It should be in a frame, being proudly displayed, but Zach had a feeling that his mother would freak out if he did that. For some reason, she was uneasy about his friendship with Frankie. So he put it away in the Monopoly box.


	15. Chapter 15

          Over the next year and a half, Zach accumulated many pictures and notes in his Monopoly box. After that first performance, Frankie’s career took off. Still no Broadway, but he was overloaded with MCing and performing gigs. Whenever it was possible, Zach would watch Frankie live via video chat, always with Shawn manning the phone. Each time was as thrilling as the first time, and Shawn would always follow up the performance with a stunning picture to send to Zach. Less than a month after the “Circus” performance, Frankie and Dylan had broken up. Frankie dated a lot, but nothing serious.

            Zach’s senior year brought new freedoms and new problems into his life. His parents eased back on his driving restrictions so he almost always had a car available, plus they increased his allowance considerably. It was as if they wanted his last year at home to be his best year. However, early in basketball season, Zach tore his meniscus. It was severe enough that he had to have surgery, and he spent the rest of the season riding the bench.

            He dated a lot, even had a couple of girlfriends. None of his relationships lasted very long; none that meant much. He did become fascinated watching Bolly blossom though. Watching them evolve and grow as a couple was simultaneously good and bad. Good because he was sincerely happy for them and so was Frankie whenever Zach would send him secret pictures of them together, and bad because Zach realized that he wanted what they had. He and Frankie spent many long hours discussing it. The inevitable question of “What if I never find my soul mate” would surface occasionally. Of course, these were discussions he would only have with Frankie. His friends from the neighborhood would have laughed their asses off if they knew that Zach wasn’t as much into partying and one-night stands as they were.

            The summer after graduation, Zach felt a bit overwhelmed with the changes that were taking place in his life. He didn’t handle it well. He spent almost all of his time with his friends, partying. He even dropped contact with Frankie. Not on purpose; they hadn’t argued or anything like that, he just didn’t have time in his schedule for it anymore. But even though the communications between them had stopped, Zach still always carried the sea glass with him. He always wore the necklace that Frankie had given him too. He told himself that they were his good luck charms, but he honestly didn’t believe that. They were more like souvenirs of an easier time. He was scared of what the future would hold for him; scared to leave home; scared to go to college; afraid of not measuring up. These fears made his long-held phobia of raccoons seem like nothing but vapor. When he was sober, he would suddenly become drenched in sweat and his heart would race under the weight of it all. That’s why he preferred to not be sober.

            When he got the invitation from Ariana, he was tempted to skip it. Every year she held a going away party for her friends that were leaving for college. It was a tradition, and this year he was one of the ones who were to be the guests of honor. If it was anybody else but Ariana, he would have refused. But she was little and sweet, plus a little bit scary, so he felt like he should go. It was held the last day he was to be home, and his friends were pissed that he was ducking out on them. He promised he would only stay for an hour or so.

            It had been quite a while since he had been to the Grande’s, but everything was pretty much as he had remembered it. He felt the muscles in his shoulders relax almost immediately, and the knot that had been lodged in his stomach for the last few months began to unwind. He found that he was actually enjoying himself for the first time in ages. After a while though, his friends began to blow up his phone with texts, telling him to hurry back. He had already been there twice as long as he said he would stay, so he knew he should be leaving. He took his time saying good-bye. Got hugs from everybody, and promises to keep in touch.

            Ariana walked him to the door, but before they reached it, it was opened and Frankie rushed in. Ariana squealed and threw herself in his arms. He hugged her then looked over her shoulder and said with a smile, “Hi Zach!”

            Ariana stepped out of Frankie’s embrace, and somehow Zach found himself in Frankie’s arms. He finally felt as if he could breathe again. He buried his face in Frankie’s neck and closed out the world.

            At one point, Frankie began to loosen his arms to ease out of the hug, but Zach clung harder to him. Frankie reached up with one hand and stroked Zach’s hair. For a second, Zach felt an overwhelming desire to cry, but he held it back. Finally he got a hold of himself and stepped away from Frankie.

            “I’m sorry I was late; my flight was delayed. I wanted to surprise you,” Frankie said. “I’m just glad I made it here before you left. Let’s go outside, I have something for you.” Frankie took Zach’s hand, and Zach followed along behind him.

            Frankie had left his luggage on the stoop outside the door. He opened one suitcase and Zach saw that it contained a wrapped gift. It took up the entire space inside the suitcase. Frankie pulled it out and handed it to him.

            “No, Frankie! You didn’t have to do that!” Zach protested.

            “I know I didn’t; I wanted to. And keep your voice down. I didn’t get anything for anybody else,” he said with a grin.

            Zach carefully unwrapped the gift and saw that it contained a backpack. Not the regular kind that he always got from Krestler’s for twenty bucks, but a finely-made, terribly expensive one. It even smelled expensive. “Oh Frankie! I can’t accept this! It’s too much!”

            “You kind of have to,” Frankie countered, turning it over so Zach could see the front of it better. It had the initials ZR stitched on it. “Unless you know someone else with the same initials, I’m afraid you’re stuck with it.”

            “I just don’t know what to say,” Zach said, examining the backpack closely.

            “You could go for the old standby, ‘thanks’, or just skip it all together,” Frankie quipped.

            Zach grinned, “Thank you, Frankie…” and his phone began to ring.

            “Don’t you need to answer that?” Frankie asked when Zach shut off the ringer.

            “No. It’s just the guys.”

            “Ah. You have plans for a ‘last night home party’, right?”

            “No…well, yeah. I didn’t know you were coming home. I’d much rather be here with you.” Zach insisted.

            “Nope. I want you to go to your party. This is a big night for you guys and you need to share it together.” Frankie countered.

            “But Frankie…”

            “No. I’m going to spend some time with my family this evening, and then I’m flying back in the morning. I came because I wanted to give you the backpack, and I also have some news. I wanted you to be the first to hear it.” Frankie stopped, and bit his lip to try to keep the smile from spreading across his face.

            “Frankie? Broadway?” Zach whispered excitedly.

            Frankie stopped trying to fight the smile, and nodded. Zach grabbed him and pulled him into a bear hug. “You did it, Frankie! You did it!”

            “Well, my name won’t be on the marquee; I’m a chorus boy—but one day it will be!” Frankie declared.

            “But you’re there Frankie! You made it,” Zach squeezed him tighter, and then released him. “We need to celebrate!”

            Frankie pulled Zach’s head down and gave him a kiss on his forehead. “We will. You with your friends; and me with my family.”

            “But…”

“No, that’s the way it has to be. We both only have a short time left before we start new journeys, but you and I have forever to share things. That is…if you bother to pick up a phone every now and again.”

            “I know. I’m sorry…”

            Frankie laughed, “Stop. I understand. I went through it too; I think almost everyone does. What I mean is, once things get comfortable for you, and you have some time, call me, I’m still there for you.”

            Zach nuzzled his face into Frankie’s neck. “When is your first performance? I want to be thinking about you at the moment you step onstage.”

            “Not for two weeks. I have to be in rehearsals the day after tomorrow though.” Frankie said, as he gently eased Zach away from him. “Now scoot. You have a party to get to.”

            Zach couldn’t really think of an argument to stay, so he left. He went to the party with his friends. They did the same things and talked about the same things that they did at every other party. Zach was bored, and a little bit pissed. He could have been with Frankie; would rather have been with Frankie, but Frankie had sent him off like a child to go play. He may have drunk a bit more than usual to get himself out of his funk. It seemed to have worked because by the time he was ready to leave the party, he felt as if he hadn’t a care in the world.


	16. Chapter 16

            Frankie had gone out to dinner with his family to celebrate. All evening long though he had been worried about his grandfather. Everyone had been reassuring Frankie that he was fine, but tonight, Frankie had seen for himself how frail his grandfather looked.

            Driving home alone, he had time to ponder it. His grandfather was getting older, that was true, but that didn’t explain away the pallor or the weight loss. He was worried and it seemed to him that the other faces at the table that night had traces of worry on them too.

            He had his music up loud, so he didn’t hear the sound of the skateboard wheels approaching at a high rate of speed from the side street. He saw the guy right before he flew by in front of Frankie’s car.

            Frankie slammed on the brakes and yanked the wheel hard to the right to avoid hitting the man. When the car stopped, he saw him lying motionless on the street.

\----------

            Zach didn’t even contemplate taking a car to the party. He knew he would be in no shape to drive home. So he rode his skateboard. After he left the party, he felt a little bit nostalgic. Since his parents had become freer with the use of the car, he hardly ever rode his skateboard anymore. He was planning on taking it to college with him though, so he thought it would be a good idea to ride it a bit, get the feel of it again. He remembered this side street he used to love to ride on when he was a kid. It started on top of a big hill, and ended up at a busy intersection. The trick had been to go as fast as you could from the top of the hill, but stopping before you reached the intersection. He had ridden that road a million or so times in his life. Of course that was when he was younger, and sober.

            After he crested the top of the hill, he got going pretty fast, in fact, it seemed faster than he had ever gone before. At the last moment, he overshot the stop for the cross road, and barreled across the intersection. He heard a squeal, and when he turned his head to see what made the noise, his board hit a pebble or something. It shot out from under Zach’s feet and he hit the ground ass first. He then landed on his back, knocking the air out of him. He lay there for a moment, looking at the stars and trying to breathe.

            He heard someone screaming, “Oh my God! Are you hurt?”, and footsteps approaching at a run. He turned his head to see who it was.

            “Zach! Oh my God, Zach! Did I hit you?” Frankie was running towards him and screaming.

            Zach levered himself up to his elbow and said, “Hi Frankie!” He was on his feet before Frankie could get to him.

            “No, you shouldn’t move!” Frankie warned.

            “I have to move, Frankie, there’s cars.” Zach said, indicating all four lanes of traffic that had stopped.

            “Not if you’re hurt, they’ll wait.” Frankie said, hurriedly searching Zach for traces of blood or injury, but finding none.

            “Come on, Frankie,” Zach said, tugging at his arm, dragging him to the sidewalk, “Help me find my board.”

            Someone leaned out of a car window and asked if they needed an ambulance. Frankie shook his head ‘no’ and let Zach lead him to the sidewalk. Frankie sat down on the curb while Zach looked for his skateboard. He found it and came and sat down next to Frankie, and they watched the cars go by.

            Frankie felt the reaction hit his body and he began to shake violently. His teeth started to chatter. The odd sound got Zach’s attention and he looked over at Frankie.

            “Hey Frankie, are you cold? How can you be cold? It’s like a million degrees out here!”

            Frankie turned to look at Zach, and Zach saw the tears forming in Frankie’s eyes.

            “Frankie, why are you crying? Are you scared? Don’t be scared, Frankie! You’re going to kill them on Broadway!”

            Frankie was dumbstruck, and then he began to laugh. “Broadway? Are you serious? Did I hit you?”

            “Aw, Frankie, you would never hit me!” Zach giggled.

            “That’s not what I meant,” Frankie said with a sigh. “Tell me how you ended up on the road.”

            “Well, I was coming down Grossman’s Hill, and I guess I didn’t time it right. I was supposed to stop before I made it to the road. I missed the stop, and then I heard a loud noise. I looked for the noise, and my board dumped me off.” Suddenly he grabbed Frankie’s arm. “You don’t think anybody saw me fall, do you? You didn’t, did you?”

            “No, I didn’t see you fall. I’m sure nobody did.” Frankie reached up and patted the hand that still held his arm.

            “Good, because I landed right on my ass!” Zach threw back his head and laughed.

            “Does it hurt?”

            “Fuck yeah it hurts!” Zach said, still laughing.

            “Do you think you need someone to look at it?”

            “Frankie, I can’t show anybody my _butt_!” At this Zach really roared with laughter.

            Frankie watched Zach laughing and decided that anybody who could laugh like that couldn’t really be hurt. He got himself calmed down and stood up. “Come on, I’m going to drive you home.”

            Zach got up and reached over and took a hold of Frankie’s hand. “I’m going to help you. This road is kind of busy; I don’t want you getting hit.”

            The sheer irony of that statement made Frankie laugh. Zach didn’t know why Frankie was laughing, but he joined in.

            With Zach leading them to the car, they walked a bit wobbly, but they made it to Frankie’s car safely. Once there, Frankie took over and guided Zach to the passenger side of the car. Along the way, he scanned the front of the car to see if there were any Zach-sized dents in it. There wasn’t.

            “Frankie?”

            “Hm?”

            “In Florida, you’re not allowed to park on the sidewalk.” Zach said, pointing to the odd position of Frankie’s car.

            “I don’t think you are allowed to anywhere, to be honest, so let’s get out of here before the police see it and arrest me.”

            “Okay!” Zach hurriedly got into the car and put his skateboard on the back floorboard.

            Frankie carefully eased the car back onto the road, and then drove off. He kept the music off and kept his eyes glued to the road. He was hyper-alert to guard against any other drunken skateboarders flying out onto the road from side streets.

            He knew of a Starbucks located next to Krestler’s so he pulled in there.

            “Are we going shopping?” Zach asked; the first words he had said since entering the car.

            “No, I’m going to get us some coffee. You stay here and don’t puke in my car.”

            Zach just laughed.

            Frankie returned a few minutes later with his regular iced coffee drink for himself and a large, hot, black coffee for Zach. Zach took a drink and grimaced. “Ugh! I can’t drink this! It tastes like poison!”

            “Nevertheless, you will drink it. We need to get your head cleared a bit. I suspect you have been doing more than just drinking alcohol this evening, and the coffee might not even help, but we have to try.”

            They drove around for a while, drinking their coffees in silence. Every time Zach took a drink of his, he grimaced and shuddered, but eventually he managed to get it all down. After Frankie noticed Zach cup was empty, he announced that he was going to drive Zach home.

            “Can we stop by our bench first? I want to see it one more time before I leave tomorrow.”

            Frankie agreed, and it wasn’t long before they arrived. They got out of the car and walked over to it together, each automatically taking the seats where they had sat before.

            Zach sighed, “I’m scared to death.”

            Frankie reached over and patted his hand. “I know you are. I’m scared too, but I think we are both going to enjoy our new lives. The only way through it, is through it.”

            “What if I can’t hack it?”

            “You are smart, funny, and charming. You are interested and interesting. You are curious about the world, and anxious to learn. You are going to do great! College is a lot of fun, and you will meet a lot of cool people. You are going to love it. One day you will probably look back on it and think it was the best time of your life.” Frankie reassured him.

            Zach looked down at the ground, and asked in a voice so low that Frankie could barely hear him, “Don’t you find me attractive?”

            Frankie grinned, reached over and ruffled his hair. “Of course I do! You’re as cute as a speckled pup!”

            Zach leapt up from the bench and strode off a few paces. He turned around to glare at Frankie with a face full of rage. He bellowed, “FUCK YOU FRANKIE GRANDE! FUCK YOU!”

            Frankie was astounded. He had never seen Zach like this before. He rose to his feet, staring, open-mouthed, at this stranger standing before him.

            Zach charged at him, stopping only inches away. “I’m not a little boy anymore!” he said through clenched teeth.

            Frankie felt intimated by how angry Zach was, and how close he was standing, so he reached out and placed his hand on Zach’s chest to push him away. He didn’t get the chance. At the slight contact, whatever control Zach had on his emotions was lost. He reached out and grabbed the hair on the back of Frankie’s head and yanked it back. Frankie’s face was jerked up as a result. With the other hand, Zach grabbed Frankie’s hip and pulled him to Zach. Then he kissed Frankie. Hard, hot, and passionate.

            Before Frankie could even gather his senses, the kiss was over, and Zach had stormed off to the car. He reached in, grabbed his skateboard, hopped on it, and was gone.

            Frankie flopped back down on the bench in a graceless heap. He ran his fingers across his mouth, wondering if he had somehow imagined what had just happened. But he could still feel the heat of Zach’s lips on his so he knew it was real.

            He sat on the bench, watching the road, to see if Zach would come back. He stayed there a long time. Zach did not return.


	17. Chapter 17

            Frankie grabbed his bags off the carousal and headed towards the exit of the airport. He heard someone call his name, and saw Shawn jogging over to him.

            “Sorry, traffic was a bitch! I’ve got a taxi waiting,” he said, as he took one of Frankie’s bags. “You look like hell.”

            “Wow, I can’t imagine why some woman hasn’t married you yet; you’re such a sweet talker,” Frankie said, in a forced attempt to be jolly.

            “Is something wrong with Zach?”

            “What? No, Zach’s fine. Why did you ask me that?” Frankie had stopped walking and turned to face Shawn.

            “You have the same look on your face as you did the day that Zach hurt his knee, and you kept it until after he was out of surgery. I think of it as your ‘I’m worried about Zach’ face.”

            “That’s ridiculous,” Frankie said and resumed walking towards the door. “I didn’t sleep well last night, and I have a raging headache. It has nothing to do with Zach.”

            “Okay, okay! My mistake. So did you see him when you were in Florida?”

            “Yeah, I ran into him at the house. I gave him the backpack, and then he had to leave.” Absentmindedly, Frankie stroked his mouth with his free hand.

            “So, that’s all?”

            “That’s all. He went to a party with his friends, and I took my family out to dinner. That’s it.”

            They reached the taxi that Shawn had hired, and stowed Frankie’s suitcases in the trunk. They settled in the backseat, and Shawn leaned forward to give instructions to the driver. Frankie put on his sunglasses; the glare from the asphalt was sending daggers into his brain. He pulled his phone out and turned it on. He scrolled through the list of missed calls and voice mails, and decided they could wait. He opened up his text messenger and did the same. Until he came to Zach’s name.

            He hurriedly opened the tab and saw that Zach had sent several texts during Frankie’s flight. The first one was a meme of a dog, leaning his head over the toilet, with the caption ‘Sick as a dog’. He read Zach’s text: _“Hey Frankie! I made it to college. We had to pull over every few minutes so I could puke. I’m not ever going to drink again!”_

            Next text: _“I’m in my dorm room. Roommate has been asleep since I got here. He snores. And he must not believe in soap. The whole room smells like dirty feet and greasy armpits.”_

            The next texts were timed about an hour later: _“Why haven’t you texted me back?” “Are you mad at me?”_

            Finally: _“I don’t remember a lot of what happened last night, and what I do remember, I wish I didn’t. I remember the awful things I said to you. And I remember what I did. I’m so sorry, Frankie! I hope you can forgive me, but if not, I understand and I will leave you alone. Just please know, I didn’t mean it, and I am sorry.”_

            Frankie checked the time and mumbled “Shit!” The last text had been received over two hours ago. The entire time Frankie was en route from Florida to NYC, Zach had been thinking Frankie was ignoring his texts.

            Frankie rapidly began to text: _“I flew home to NYC today, and I just got off the plane and saw your texts. I hope you are drinking lots of water. As soon as you feel better, buy earplugs and scented candles to deal with the roommate situation. And don’t be silly, there is nothing to forgive. Everybody says and does things when they are drunk that they don’t mean. I am not mad at you; not even a little bit.”_

            After he pushed the ‘send’ button, he leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes.

            A few seconds later, his text alert sounded. He opened his phone and saw it was from Zach. _“Are we just better, or okay?”_

            Frankie texted back, _“Okay.”_

            Zach texted, _“Okay. :)_ _”_

            Frankie smiled. He slid his hand over his pocket, feeling for the sea glass, and relaxed when he felt its familiar outline. He looked out the window, and slowly stroked his lips with a forefinger.

            “Feeling better now?” Shawn asked, who had been silently observing Frankie since they had entered the taxi.

            “Yes, thanks. I think I caught my second wind,” Frankie said with smile, and this time it was a real one.

            “I meant to ask you, isn’t today the day that Zach was supposed to be at the campus? I wonder how he is doing.” Shawn pondered, carefully searching Frankie’s face.

            “Yeah, he made it okay. Got stuck with a smelly roommate who snores,” Frankie grinned, “Reminds me of the roommate I was stuck with during the ‘Dora’ tour.” He playfully poked Shawn in the ribs.

            “Ha Ha, very funny. It couldn’t be worse than the one _I_ was stuck with: a real prima donna,” Shawn laughed.

            Frankie laughed then turned back to the window. “He’s going to do fine. He’s a great kid.”

            “Yeah, ‘kid’,” Shawn mumbled. Frankie didn’t hear him; he was lost in his own thoughts.

\------------------------

            Frankie began his rehearsals in preparation for his opening night. He threw himself into it, and every night would limp through his apartment to fall into bed. Meanwhile, Zach settled into his new life at college. Because of their diverse schedules, they communicated only by text. Frankie suspected that Zach was still too embarrassed to speak to him directly, but after not being in contact for the summer, Frankie was satisfied with texts. Sometimes he missed the sound of Zach’s voice, but he was going to follow Zach’s lead.

            Zach had lucked into a job right away at a Thai restaurant. He happened to be eating there when they posted the job opening in the window. He took down the sign and handed it to the manager and told her there was no need to advertise he was there and ready to start. It was definitely a case of being in the right place at the right time.

            Frankie announced his impending Broadway premiere performance all over his social media sites. It generated a great deal of excitement amongst his ‘Frankie-steins’. The box office told him that his premiere show was sold out as soon as tickets went on sale.

            Zach pledged a fraternity that his father had been in. As a legacy, he was pretty much assured of getting in. He had met up with his mother’s best friend’s daughter, Ladonna, in one of his classes. He hadn’t been aware she was attending the same college. Her twin, Lawrence, had gone into the Army instead of coming with her. It was the first time they had been separated. She had latched onto Zach right away. He jokingly called himself her “brother substitute” in the texts he sent Frankie.

            Frankie’s opening night finally arrived. He had reserved seats for his mother, Ariana, his Nonna, his Grandpa, and Shawn. Zach texted early in the day, telling Frankie that he would be thinking about him that night, and how proud he was of him.

            After the show was over, Frankie headed backstage. His spirits were soaring and he felt like he was walking on air.

            Todd, one of the guys he was sharing a dressing room with, was leaning against the door with a huge grin on his face. “Frankie, are you getting married or buried?” he asked.

            “What?” Frankie stopped in his tracks.

            “You have to see this for yourself,” Todd said, laughing. He pushed the door open and gestured Frankie inside.

            There were huge floral arrangements set down in every available space in the room. Most of them were roses, so Frankie knew they were very expensive. He took the card from one nearest the door and read it. He recognized the name of one of his fans from back when he was a club boy.

            Shawn and Frankie’s family came to the room to congratulate him, but couldn’t all fit in the room. Frankie asked if Shawn would take pictures of the arrangements, and someone to keep track of who had sent them. He wanted to be sure to send ‘thank you’ notes later.

            As he was winding his way over to his make-up station, he saw a tiny canning jar, tied with a raffia bow, containing three sunflowers. He checked for a card, but only found the one that had his information on it and the name of the florist. He knew. Of course he knew. But he had to know for sure. He picked up the tiny container and took it with him into the bathroom. He waited until everyone left, and then he dialed the number from the card on his cell phone.

            “Fabulous Flowers by Fletcher! How can I help you?” A woman with a sing-song voice answered the phone.

            “I received a flower arrangement anonymously…” Frankie began.

            “Oh, how fun!” the woman said.

            “Yes…I was wondering if you could give me any details about it.”

            “If it is anonymous, I doubt it. But we can try. Can I have your name, please?”

            “It’s Frankie Grande. They were delivered…”

            “To the theater, right? You naughty boy! You have run our delivery drivers ragged tonight! It must have been a very special evening for you!” she said with a giggle.

            “Oh yes, ma’am. It certainly has been; and all of the flower arrangements were lovely! The one I am curious about is the sunflower arrangement.”

            “Sunflower, sunflower...” he could hear her whisper to herself and he could hear her tapping keys on a computer. “Here it is. The arrangement was paid for in cash, so there is no information.”

            Frankie felt the disappointment rise in his chest. He had assumed as much, but to hear it was a bit devastating.

            “I don’t know if this is a help, but I can tell you that it was a wire order. The original order was placed in Gainesville, Florida, from a florist shop by the name of ‘Ruby’s Roses’. I’m sorry, but that is all I have.”

            “No, that’s great! Uh…Thank you for your help, and thank you for your beautiful arrangements! I love every one of them! I will be sure to recommend your shop to all my friends.” Frankie realized he was gushing so he quickly hung up.

            He pulled up a map app on his phone and quickly entered the search for ‘Ruby’s Roses’ in Gainesville, Florida. When the map came up, he searched the area surrounding it. Sure enough, the Thai restaurant where Zach worked was on the same block. He closed the app with a huge smile.

            It was all circumstantial evidence, but in his heart, he knew the sunflowers were from Zach. Who else in Gainesville, Florida knew that his favorite flower was a sunflower?

            He went back to his dressing room and informed everybody there that they could take whatever arrangement they wanted, and to spread the word to the rest of the cast. He kept the little canning jar held tightly to his chest though. He was going to keep it, and only it.

            That little jar of sunflowers went out to dinner with Frankie, his family, and his friends that night. It went home with him to his apartment, and Frankie carried them with him whenever he went into a different room. When eventually the flowers died, Frankie put that little canning jar on a shelf in his bedroom so he could see it every morning when he woke up. Over time, whenever something special occurred—when he was promoted to a bigger role, holidays, his birthday—new sunflowers with new tiny canning jars were delivered. In time, Frankie had amassed a nice collection of tiny canning jars on that shelf in his room, each one as special as the first one.


	18. Chapter 18

            Zach made it to his hometown in record time, but he was still going to be late. He was wearing a suit he had borrowed from Mike, one of his fraternity brothers; and driving the car of James, another one. He had skipped his classes and had called in sick at work, so his schedule for the day was clear.

            He had to stop at a red light. He impatiently checked the time on his cell phone. He was frustrated to see how late it was. He realized that there wasn’t much chance of catching them at the church now, so at the next corner, he turned to the right and changed his destination.

            When he arrived, he could see a huge crowd of people. He parked the car and quietly made his way through them. Shawn was up front with the family. He turned around and caught sight of Zach. He motioned him to come forward.

            Shawn was standing directly behind Frankie, slightly holding onto his back. He moved his hand, and Zach placed his hand where Shawn’s had been. Frankie must have sensed the change because he turned to see Zach. He held out his hand and Zach took it, interlacing his fingers with Frankie’s, as Frankie pulled him forward to stand next to him.

            Grandpa Grande’s coffin was being slowly lowered into his final resting place. Zach felt an almost overwhelming feeling of grief pass over him, and could not imagine how Frankie was dealing with it. He looked over at Frankie and saw the unshed tears in his eyes and his jaw muscles clenching and unclenching. Zach’s heart broke for Frankie.

            When the service ended, the mourners began to walk back to their cars. Frankie excused himself and went to his Nonna’s side to help her to the waiting limousine. Zach began to walk to his car, and he heard Frankie calling to him, “Zach, where are you going?”

            Zach hastily walked to his side, and as soon as he reached him, Frankie said, “We are having a gathering at our house for family and close friends. Can you come?”

            “Yeah, I have to go back to the campus later, but I can come for a while.”

            Frankie nodded, “Good. I appreciate it.” He turned and walked back to the limo.

            Zach followed behind the line of cars as they left the cemetery. Most of them dropped out eventually, but a few cars continued on to the Grande estate.

            Once inside, he wandered around, speaking to people who were sitting together in small groups. Everyone spoke in hushed tones. It was such a sad comment on the day. Usually when people were together inside the Grande house, there were shouts, loud voices, and laughter.

            He finally decided to stick with Shawn and Frankie’s New York friends. He and Frankie often communicated via video calls now, having resumed over a year ago. Frankie sometimes just propped his phone down in the middle of a gathering, and it was almost as if Zach were sitting there with all of them.

            Shawn gave Zach a smile and gestured for him to sit next to him. A quiet conversation was going on so Zach sat down without speaking. Shawn didn’t seem to be involved in the conversation, so Zach leaned forward and spoke almost in a whisper, “Where’s Charles?”

            “Good question,” Shawn whispered back. “It seems he couldn’t get time off to fly here and be with Frankie. He called and cancelled this morning; right before we left for the funeral.”

            “Oh,” Zach answered, trying not to show any anger, but his fists clenched.

            Shawn nodded, “I know. Frankie hasn’t said anything about it, but he has to be hurting badly. You would think Charles could manage a day off to be with his boyfriend to attend his grandfather’s funeral. But no, he is just too ‘busy’.”

            Zach could hear the sarcasm in Shawn’s voice, so it gave him the courage to ask, “Do you like Charles?”

            Shawn said, “Of course I do. He is very special to Frankie.” He looked around quickly, and seeing no one in the immediate vicinity, he shook his head ‘no’.

            Zach leaned back and let out his breath in a whoosh. “I thought it was just me!”

            “No, it’s not just you. He’s too slick. Fake.”

            Zach grinned. “Do you do that ‘shipping’ thing that Frankie likes to do, where he mashes up the couple’s names?”

            Shawn smiled, “Not much on my own, but it always amuses me when Frankie and the others do it. Why?”

            Zach scanned the area, and then leaned closer to Shawn to whisper to him, “I privately call Charles, ‘Chuck’. Their ship names would be “Crankie” or “Fuck”. I use both of them together: Crankie Fuck. Doesn’t sound like much fun.”

            Shawn hastily picked up his coffee cup and brought it up to his mouth. He hid behind it as he gave a low, quiet laugh. “That’s really good! You know I’m never going to be able to see them together without thinking that now.”

            “I never can either. Just don’t make eye-contact with me on the next video call when they are together, and we’ll be okay.”

            Frankie’s rounds finally brought him over to Shawn and Zach. He sat down next to Zach and peered closely at his face. “How are you doing?”

            Zach smiled, “I’m okay. How are you holding up?”

            Frankie shrugged. “I’m okay. I wanted to let you guys know that catering is setting up a spread in the dining room. You should be able to get something to eat in a few minutes. That should suit you,” he made a feeble attempt to joke with Shawn. He looked at Zach, “I want you to make sure to get something to eat. You look a little thin. When do you have to leave?”

            “Not for a while. I’m here and willing to do anything you need until then.”

            Frankie stood up, “Thank you. There really isn’t anything for you to do. If you will excuse me, I need to see to the other guests now.” And away he went.

            Zach said, “He is really wound up.”

            Shawn nodded. “Super tight. He has been in constant motion since he found out that his grandfather had died. I’m not even sure if he has been sleeping, and I know I haven’t seen him eat anything. He just keeps pounding down coffee, and moving around.”

            A few hours later, most of the guests had gone. A doctor had given Frankie’s Nonna some tranquilizers and she had been put to bed. Ariana and Frankie’s mother were sitting with their respective friends, and Frankie was roaming around. He was plumping pillows and picking up lint off the floor. Occasionally he would find a stray glass or cup and he would take them into the kitchen. Shawn and Zach were still sitting together, and they were both watching him.

            Shawn sighed. “Something has to be done. He needs help but I don’t know what to do.”

            Zach ran his hand over his face. “I think I do. I don’t know if it will work, but I’m going to give it a shot. Wish me luck.”

            Shawn nodded, “You know I do.”

            “Hey Frankie!” Zach called to him. Frankie hurried over to his side.

            “Yes Zach, is there something I could do for you?” Frankie asked, and Zach could have sworn that he saw relief in Frankie’s eyes—hoping to be given a task.

            “Yeah. I have to leave in a bit but I was wondering if I could borrow a book to read until then.”

            “Yes, of course!” Frankie’s eyes began to dart around the room, in search of a book.

            “I was thinking maybe you keep your books in your room.” Zach offered.

            Frankie’s face cleared. “Yes, you’re right. I don’t know where my mind was. My room is upstairs, if you want to come with me.” He led the way.

            Zach shot a look at Shawn and followed Frankie up the stairs and into his room.

            Frankie immediately went to his bookcase and started searching through titles. Zach quietly shut the door behind him, and took off his suit jacket and laid it on the bed. His heart was racing. He wasn’t sure exactly how to do this, but it had to be done.

            Frankie located the book he was looking for and brought it to Zach. “I think you will like this one,” he said, handing Zach the book. Zach took it and tossed it on his jacket lying on the bed. Frankie watched the book land with confusion on his face.

            Zach pulled Frankie into his arms, “You need a hug,” he said.

            Frankie gladly accepted it, but within seconds he was ready to be released. Zach tightened his grip.

            Frankie gave a little laugh, “You can let go now.”

            “No. It’s just you and me, Frankie. No need to be the tough guy.”

            “I have to go, there are people…” Frankie began.

            “No, they all went home. There is nothing left to do. It’s over now.” Zach said softly.

            Frankie struggled against Zach, and Zach gently tightened his hold. Eventually there was no more room between them for Frankie to struggle.

            Zach whispered, “It’s just us here. Let it out.”

            “Let me go!” Frankie demanded angrily, and attempted to free himself.

            “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to let you go,” Zach said softly.

            After a few more seconds of failed attempts to get free, Frankie let out a tiny sob. Then it was as if a flood gate opened, as all his pent up tears came flowing out. His legs became weak under the onslaught of his emotions, so Zach shifted his back a bit to take Frankie’s weight.

            Zach whispered all those things that mean nothing, but at the same time, mean everything. He rubbed Frankie’s back with one hand and stroked his hair with the other. Frankie had his face buried in Zach’s neck as he sobbed.

            After a while, Frankie’s sobs became fewer and farther apart, and the tears slowed down. He took his own weight back, and Zach loosened his hold a bit. Zach helped Frankie over to the bed and sat him down, and then he went into Frankie’s bathroom, and grabbed a box of tissues. He took one of the washcloths and put it under the cold water faucet. He wrung it out and took these items into Frankie. As Frankie was using the tissues to clean his face, Zach put the cold cloth on the back of Frankie’s neck.

            He sat beside Frankie and put an arm around him, and Frankie leaned into Zach. They sat that way in silence for a while.

            Frankie took a long, cleansing breath. “Thank you for that.”

            Zach gave a small smile, “No problem. I want you to do something for me now, okay?”

            Frankie nodded, “Of course.”

            “Good, first I want you to change out of that suit, and while you are doing that, I am going to bring up something for you to eat.”

            “Oh, no, I couldn’t eat.”

            “Well, I’ll bring something up here and you can try it.”

            “But…”

            “No buts,” Zach said as he stood up. “Change your clothes; I’ll be back.”

            Zach left the room and quietly went downstairs. Shawn was still sitting in the living room. He silently followed Zach into the kitchen.

            “You got him to cry?” Shawn indicated the wet patch on Zach’s chest.

            Zach looked down at his shirt, “Yeah. I don’t know if he is cried out yet, but it was a start. I’m going to try to get him to eat now. Do you want to help me? I’m not sure what he likes. All I know is that he is lactose-intolerant, and likes Thanksgiving food.”

            “Sure! Let’s take inventory and see what we have.”

            After a short time, Zach was headed back upstairs with a tray loaded with foods that Shawn had suggested. He also had brought along a bottle of wine. Shawn said it was one of Frankie’s favorites.

            When he entered the room he saw that Frankie had changed into a tee-shirt and a pair of loose-fitting shorts. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, still looking a bit overwhelmed and confused.

            Zach sat the tray down on a dresser top and moved towards the bed.

            “Stand up for a minute,” he said, and Frankie slowly got to his feet. Zach took his jacket and the book off the bed and placed them on a chair, and then he pulled the bed covers down. “Climb in.”

            Frankie got into the bed, and Zach arranged pillows behind him to prop him up to eat. He brought the tray over and sat it on the bed, and he climbed on the bed to sit beside it.

            “Honestly, I can’t eat,” Frankie said in a small voice.

            Zach poured a small glass of wine and handed it to him. “Drink this,” he said.

            Frankie sipped on it while Zach talked. He kept up a steady stream of conversation, telling Frankie stories about his classes, his fraternity, work, his study group—all the while putting small tidbits on a plate in front of Frankie, and refilling his glass whenever it became empty. Frankie was busy listening to the stories and was eating the food on his plate without being conscious of it.

            Frankie stifled a yawn. “I’m sorry…it’s not your stories, honestly!”

            Zach smiled, “It’s okay. Why don’t we get you settled down for a bit?”

            Frankie shook his head, “It’s no use; I can’t sleep. I’ve tried. My mind just keeps running around in circles.”

            “Just for a rest then; you don’t have to sleep.” Zach took the tray off the bed and placed it back on the dresser top. He came to the bed and helped Frankie remove some of the pillows to make it comfortable to lie down.

            He lay down next to Frankie taking one of his discarded pillows and placing it under his own head. His eyes fell on the belongings that Frankie had placed on the shelf in the headboard. His watch, wallet, car keys, some change, and the piece of sea glass that Zach had given him.

            “Do you really still carry that around?” he asked.

            Frankie looked at what he was pointing at, and smiled, “Yeah, every day. It is my good luck charm.”

            Zach slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out the matching piece, “Mine too,” he said with a grin. “Turn over; I’ll rub your back.”

            Frankie pulled off his shirt, and rolled over on his stomach. Zach began to stroke his back.

            “I won’t be here tomorrow. I wish I could stay here with you, but I promised to have the car back by 8:00 a.m., and it will take at least four hours to get there,” he apologized.

            “It’s okay. You were here today, and that’s all that matters,” Frankie said, his voice sounding sleepy and far away.

            Zach could feel Frankie’s muscles relaxing under his hand. He continued stroking Frankie’s back long after his breathing had grown deep and slow. Finally he eased his hand away, and Frankie did not stir. Zach lay there for a while, giving Frankie time to fall into a deep sleep. Once he determined it was safe to move without waking Frankie, Zach carefully got up from the bed. He picked up his discarded suit jacket and on his way to the door, he stopped to collect the tray. He quietly opened the door, and slipped out of it. He took one more look at Frankie to make sure he was still sleeping, before slowly closing the bedroom door.

            He made his way down the stairs, through the house and into the kitchen to deposit the tray on the counter. He thought it felt creepy sneaking around in a house full of sleeping people, so he was in a hurry to be on his way.

            “Did you get him to eat?” asked a voice from the shadows, giving Zach a tremendous start. He swung around in the direction of the voice, and saw that it was Frankie’s grandmother, sitting alone at the little table in the darkened kitchen.

            “Yes, ma’am, he ate a little bit. He’s sleeping now.”

            “Good. That’s good. I was worried about him.”

            “I’m getting ready to leave. Is there anything I can do for you before I go?”

            He could see her smile in the dim light, “No Dear, you have already done enough.” She arose from the table and made her way to him. She put her hand on his cheek, “You’re a good boy, Zach. You have always been one of my favorites of all the children’s friends. Do you need me to show you out?”

            “No ma’am. I know my way.”

            She gave him another smile, “Yes, I suppose you do; you’ve been coming here for years.” She patted his cheek as she left him.

            Zach let himself out the back door and made his way to his borrowed car. The sound of his shoes on the driveway sounded as loud as bombs in the pre-dawn silence. He got into the car, but before he started it, he leaned against the steering wheel and finally allowed himself to cry.


	19. Chapter 19

           Frankie was startled awake by the ringing of his cell phone on the night stand next to his bed. He picked it up, saw who it was, and quickly slipped out of bed, leaving Charles to slumber undisturbed. He grabbed his robe from the chair, and hurried out of the room.

            As soon as he shut the bedroom door behind him, he answered. “Zach, what’s up?”

            “Frankie! FrankieFrankieFrankie! Frankie! It’s my birthday!!!”

            Frankie laughed, Zach was very obviously inebriated. “I know! Remember? I called you about four hours ago, as soon as it turned midnight, and wished you a Happy Birthday.”

            “I know, I know. Hey, do you remember one time you said when I was twenty-one, I should come to NYC and we would paint the town red?”

            “Yes, I remember.”

            “I’m twenty-one, Frankie!”

            “You most certainly are. So, what are you doing to celebrate?”

            “Sitting on a curb, in front of a bar. It’s raining. Everybody went home.”

            “Love, do you know it’s almost 4:00?”

            “No. Explains why nobody is here!” he said with a laugh, and then Frankie heard horrible retching noises. “Frankie? I threw up!”

            “I heard,” Frankie braced the phone between his shoulder and his ear, and put on his robe. He opened the door to the balcony and stepped out.

            “I don’t like to throw up. Especially not on my birthday,” Zach grumbled.

            “I imagine a lot of people throw up on their birthdays, especially their twenty-firsts. Are you still sitting there?”

            “Yeah.”

            “Maybe you should walk away from there so you can forget about it.”

            “Okay. I’m going to walk home. Will you stay with me?”

            “Every step of the way,” Frankie said, settling into his favorite chair—the one that had the clearest view of the city lights and the harbor.

            “Where are you, Frankie?” Zach asked with a pout in his voice.

            “I am right there with you.”

            “No, I mean, where are you really?”

            “I’m on my balcony.”

            “Is Charles there?”

            “He’s asleep. I’m out here alone.”

            “Oh,” Zach was quiet for a time. “Is it raining there?”

            “No, it’s clear here. The sky is full of stars.”

            “I wish I was there.”

            Frankie sighed. “I wish you were too.”

            “Do you?!” Zach asked with surprise in his voice.

            “Yes, I miss you.” Frankie answered, and Zach didn’t respond. After a time, Frankie asked, “Are you still there?”

            “Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about something. Did I say ‘thank you’ for the book you sent me? ‘Cause I meant to, but I can’t remember.”

            Frankie laughed, “You did. Quite a few times. And you’re welcome.”

            “I’m almost home now.” Zach announced.

            “Good. Do you think anyone will still be up?”

            “I don’t know.”

            There was silence for a while, and then Frankie could hear sounds like doors opening and closing. He could hear Zach speaking to someone but couldn’t make out who or what was being said.

            “Hey Frankie? It’s James. Zach’s home now and I’ll look after him. He is in the bathroom, throwing up. He wanted me to tell you ‘good night’ for him.”

            Frankie smiled, “Well, tell him I said ‘good night’ and ‘Happy Birthday’, but between you and me—I don’t think he is going to have either.”

            James laughed, and they ended the call.

            Frankie got up and walked to the railing. He was looking at the view he loved the most in the entire world, but his mind was still in Florida.

            The balcony door opened and Charles came out and wrapped his arms around Frankie, shivering slightly as the cool autumn air hit his bare skin.

            “Zach?” he asked.

            “Yes. He was a bit drunk, still celebrating his birthday,” Frankie answered with a slight smile.

            “This may not be the right time, but I really think we should discuss this ‘Zach situation’ soon.” Charles said, laying his head on Frankie’s shoulder.

            “You lost me. What ‘Zach situation’?”

            “It’s just…the two of you are always on the phone together. You never seem to have time for me, but you always manage to find time to talk to him. I can’t relax even when we are finally alone, because I’m worried that he’ll call. You and I are a couple. I think you should examine your priorities.”

            “So, by saying you want me to examine my priorities, what you’re basically saying is you want me to choose between you and Zach, is that right?”

            “I’m not suggesting that you cut him out of your life completely. Maybe talk to him once a week or so. I’m not sure which one of you has this compulsive need to talk constantly, but it’s not healthy, and I think it is ruining our relationship. So, yes, to put it bluntly…it’s him or me.”

            Frankie sighed, “I understand what you’re saying. If you feel like this is a major problem in our relationship, then I respect it. And…I choose him.”

\----------

            Shawn set his coffee cup down in shock. “So, he’s gone?”

            “Yeah, he packed up and left right away,” Frankie said.

            “Fascinating. So, you didn’t hesitate; you just said ‘Zach’?”

            “What’s to hesitate about? I won’t ever turn my back on my friends. You know that. Why are you surprised that I would pick Zach over Charles?”

            Shawn picked his cup up and took a sip. He sat it back down slowly. “Can I ask you something? How exactly do you feel about Zach? ‘Cause I have to tell you, Charles had a point, you do spend an inordinate amount of time on the phone with him.”

            Frankie leaned back in his seat, his face a picture of surprise. “So you think I should have stayed with Charles?”

            “Oh God, no! Sorry Frankie, but I was not a fan of Charles’. No, what I mean is, maybe you should take some time and examine your relationship with Zach.”

            “There is nothing to examine. He’s a great kid…” he paused when he saw Shawn’s expression. “What’s the face for? You don’t like Zach either?”

            “I like Zach a lot. The face was for you calling him a kid. I’m insulted on his behalf. He’s twenty-one, Frankie. In every state in the Union, that is legally an adult.” Shawn lectured.

            “Oh, I know. I just think of him like a little brother.” Frankie said with a wave of his hand.

            Shawn leaned back in his seat. He picked up his coffee cup, brought it up to his mouth, but before drinking any, asked, “What did you get Zach for his birthday?”

            Frankie frowned at him. “You know what I gave him. I sent him a book by his favorite author, Morris VanSickle. Why are you acting like that?”

            Shawn smiled, “You gave him an autographed copy of that book; you stood in line five hours to get it signed by the author.”

            “No! No, it was only about four hours,” Frankie objected and turned his eyes away.

            “What did you give Charles for his birthday?”

            “I bought tickets to the ballet. He loved it; what’s your point?”

            “You spent, what…ten minutes on the phone getting the tickets, but ‘four’ hours in line to get a book signed for Zach—that’s my point.”

            “But that doesn’t mean anything,” Frankie said, dismissively.

            “Maybe not, but that and the constant phone contact, coupled with the way the two of you look at each other, it adds up.”

            Frankie instantly became alert, “What do you mean, what way do we look at each other?”

            “Certainly not brotherly. Kind of heart-eyed and longing. Don’t worry, it’s not just you—he does it too.”

            Frankie gave a small laugh, “You’re being ridiculous.”

            Shawn got up from the table and poured himself another cup of coffee. When he returned, Frankie had gotten up, walked over to the window, and was looking out. Shawn knew it wasn’t for the view. His apartment’s view was of a parking lot. “I’m going to ask you something that is totally not my business. Has anything ever happened between you two?”

            Frankie reached up and began to fluff his hair, “No.” He paused, shrugged his shoulders, “Yes. A kiss. Once. Two years ago. But it doesn’t count because he was drunk and apologized the next day and said he didn’t mean it.”

            “Oh really?” Shawn smiled over his coffee cup. “There’s an old saying that goes something like: ‘Drunken lips tell sober secrets’.”

            Frankie came back and sat down at the table. “He was drunk and angry with me,” he looked at Shawn a little shamefaced. “I had implied he was a kid, and he didn’t like it. He kissed me in retaliation.”

            “Ooh! A drunken, angry kiss! Sounds hot and not at all brotherly. Why do you still insist on speaking of him like he is a kid? Are you hoping he will do it again?”

            Frankie pinched the bridge of his nose. “We met when he was a kid. As we grew closer, I had to remind myself all the time of his age; to protect him.”

            Shawn’s eyebrows raised, “Protect him from what?”

            Frankie shrugged. “I don’t know.”

            Shawn sighed. “Do me a favor, say this sentence out loud: ‘I love Zach Rance’.”

            Frankie laughed. “What? Why?”

            “Humor me.”

            Frankie shook his head ‘no’, but then said, “I love Zach Rance.” He became aware of the way his heart was racing, and felt the huge smile that spread across his face.

            “And that, my friend, is the real reason you chose Zach over Charles.”

\----------

            Frankie was tired. It was Thanksgiving week, and his family had flown to NYC to spend the holiday with him. Ariana had recently landed a role on a television show on the Nickelodeon channel. She had a few days off to celebrate, but Frankie hadn’t. They had to plan the family times around Frankie’s schedule. They had flown back to California early that morning. He had gotten up early to see them off, and then performed two shows. All he wanted to do was to go home and fall into bed.

            He stood in the corridor leading out to the stage door, waiting for the lead performers to go out first to get their accolades. He used the time trying to summon up some energy. Some of the fans were there for him. He didn’t want to disappoint them. They expected him to shine, and he wasn’t going to let them down.

            Finally it was his turn to step out of the stage door. He took a deep breath, put a smile on his face, and walked out the door. The small crowd gathered gave out a cheer. People wanted autographs and to have their picture taken with him. As he was posing for a picture with a fan, another fan tugged gently on his arm, asking for an autograph. Once the fan saw the photo and was satisfied with it, he turned to the person who was tugging his arm. It was Zach.

            “Can I have your autograph?” he asked, with a huge smile.

            Frankie was surprised to see him there. Zach hadn’t told him he was in the area. As a result, Frankie’s guard was down. He threw himself into Zach’s arms.

\----------

            On nights that Shawn had free, he often came to the theater to walk home with Frankie. It was good exercise, and a lot of times they stopped for a glass of wine. On this night, he was nearing the stage door when he witnessed the reunion between Frankie and Zach.

            He took out his cell phone and snapped a few pictures. He had assumed they would break the embrace within a few seconds. They didn’t.

            He noticed that several people in the crowd were taking in the scene. They got quiet. Many people began to smile, and a few took pictures. Then, as if it there was a pre-arranged signal, they all began to quietly ease away from the area. A few turning around for one last look, with huge smiles and shining eyes.

            He walked nearer to them, certain that they would part at any second, but they didn’t. He was level with them for a bit and noticed that both had their eyes closed. Frankie was making some kind of sound that was close to a whine, and Zach made a sound similar to the purr of a jungle cat. They were holding on to each other as if they were drowning. Shawn stood there for a while, but they were oblivious to anything but each other. Shawn walked on, looking back from time to time, to see them still clinging to each other. He laughed and shook his head. No way was that a ‘brotherly’ hug.


	20. Chapter 20

            They finally pulled apart and stood looking at each other with huge grins.

            “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to New York? Did you see the show? Where are you staying?” The questions tumbled out of Frankie; all signs of his former exhaustion were gone.

            Zach laughed at Frankie’s excitement. “I spent Thanksgiving with my aunt in Long Island. You told me that your family was with you here, so I waited until I read on your Facebook page that they were flying back to California today. I did see the show and you were marvelous!”

            “But if you would have told me you were here, I would have gotten you a front-row seat!”

            “I wanted to surprise you!”

            “Well, you certainly did! Are you still staying at your aunt’s? You could come and stay with me if you want. I have a spare bedroom.” Frankie suggested.

            “I was kind of hoping you would offer. You did say that once I turned twenty-one, we would paint the town red. I would hate to go back to my aunt’s house after being out partying.”

            Frankie linked arms with Zach and they began to walk down the sidewalk in the direction of Frankie’s apartment.

            “So, where would you like to go? I’m up for anything.”

            “Honestly? What I would most like to see is the view from your balcony.”

            Frankie grinned, “Alright then! We can order in a pizza later. I have some good wine, unless you would prefer something else?”

            “No, that’s okay. I’m easy to please.”

            The rest of the walk home, they chatted away a mile a minute. To any observer it would appear as if they hadn’t been in contact for ages. No one would guess they spent almost all their free time on the phone with each other.

            It didn’t take long to reach Frankie’s building. After a quick elevator ride, they arrived at Frankie’s apartment. Frankie showed Zach around, but Zach kept zeroing in on the wall of windows that looked out onto Frankie’s balcony. Frankie went into the kitchen and poured them both a glass of wine. He handed Zach’s to him and said with a laugh, “Well, go ahead—I know you are dying to!”

            “Come with me?” Zach asked, beaming with excitement, reaching his hand out to take Frankie’s.

            They walked out onto the balcony and Frankie watched Zach take in the view for the first time in person. Of course he had seen it many times through video calls and pictures, but seeing it in real life was a totally different experience.

            Zach placed his elbows on the railing and stared transfixed at the scene. Frankie smiled, and set down his glass on a small table. It was chilly and they had not put on their coats. Frankie crossed his arms across his chest to keep warm. Zach turned his head and saw.

            “Are you cold?” He walked over and sat his glass down next to Frankie’s on the table. He stepped behind Frankie and placed his chest against Frankie’s back and slid his arms down on top of Frankie’s. “Better?” he asked.

            Frankie nodded and leaned back. Zach placed his chin lightly on Frankie’s shoulder. “Did you look at your Facebook page this evening?”

            “No, I didn’t have time today. Why? Did I miss something?”

            Zach gave a small laugh. “Just the biggest Bolly news ever! Boyd proposed, and Molly said ‘yes’.”

            Frankie spun around in Zach’s arms, “Seriously?!! Oh my God! That’s amazing!”

            Zach laughed, “Boyd posted that he had planned to ask her at Christmas, but he couldn’t wait.”

            “This must be like what it feels like when your team wins the Super Bowl or the World Series! I’ve shipped a few couples, but they are the first ones to make it official!” Frankie had a huge grin on his face, but it slowly faded when his eyes met Zach’s; his eyes had darkened with desire and he was staring at Frankie’s lips.

            Frankie’s mouth suddenly became dry and he darted out his tongue to lick his lips. Zach leaned in and ran his tongue lightly across them too. Frankie parted them slightly and then Zach’s tongue was touching Frankie’s.

            Frankie could scarcely breathe as a tidal wave of desire hit him. He curled his fingers in Zach’s hair and pulled him in closer to deepen the kiss. Eventually Zach slid his mouth down to nibble on Frankie’s neck and his fingers dug into Frankie’s back.

            “Do you want to go inside?” Frankie whispered.

            “No,” Zach whispered back, his mouth still on Frankie’s neck.

            Frankie’s heart plummeted into his stomach and he attempted to step back, but Zach’s hold wouldn’t let him. “So, that’s a ‘no’?”

            Zach gave a little laugh and the feel of Zach’s laughter against his neck made Frankie feel weak in the knees. “No, it’s not a ‘no’. Here, not inside.”

            “Here?!” Frankie was surprised, “It’s kind of cold out here.”

            “I know, but whenever I fantasize about us, it is always here.”

            “You fantasize about us?” Frankie asked, surprised.

            Zach raised his head up and looked into Frankie’s eyes, and then he leaned forward and placed his lips very lightly against Frankie’s and whispered, “Constantly”.

            Frankie felt another wave shoot though his veins. “I have to go get some things…”

            “I know.”

            “You do? Have you…” Frankie began.

            “No, well…yeah, but not with a man. I did some research.”

            Frankie grinned. “Research?”

            Zach blushed, and giggled. “Frankie! Stop! A person’s porn stash is sacred! Please, just go get whatever we need and hurry back!”

            Frankie gave him a squeeze and then went inside. Ordinarily, he could walk through any room in the apartment, in a blackout, blindfolded, and he wouldn’t bump into anything but at that moment, with all the lights on, he found himself slamming into every piece of furniture between the living room and his bedroom. His legs were shaking from emotion and his balance was off.

            He pawed through his bedside table drawer and kept dropping things. He had had his share of male companions over the years, but he had never felt all clumsy and shaky like this before. He headed toward the bedroom door, but at the last second, he turned around and snatched the down-filled comforter off the bed, then hurried back to the balcony.

            Zach was again standing at the rail, looking at the city lights, when Frankie returned. He turned around with a smile. “Perfect!” he said, and took the comforter from Frankie and laid it out on the floor. Then he laid down on it, crossing his arms beneath his head.

            “I don’t get it,” Frankie said, “How can you be so calm? I’m a wreck!”

            Zach smiled, “Because of all the people I know, I trust you the most. I would trust you with my life. Now, are you going to join me down here, or would you rather just stand there?”

            Frankie joined him.

\----------

            Zach slowly woke up. He felt something cold and wet on his face. He reached his hand up to brush it away and became aware of the weight on his opposite shoulder. He opened his eyes and saw Frankie’s head nestled there. He raised his head as far as he could without disturbing Frankie and looked around. He realized they were on Frankie’s balcony—he thought he had dreamed it. He saw their clothes tossed around in every direction, and smiled as the memory came back. He thought he had dreamed that part too, which wouldn’t had been anything new—he had that dream a lot. But his memory was much better than any dream could have been.

            Something touched the tip of his nose, and when he reached up his hand and felt it, he realized it was wet. And cold. He looked down at Frankie’s head, and saw little white flakes shimmering on his hair.

            He reached over and brushed them off. “Frankie?” he said gently, while shaking his shoulder.

            “Hmm?” Frankie mumbled in his sleep.

            “Frankie, wake up! It’s snowing.”

            Frankie snuggled closer to Zach, “Close the window, it’s cold,” he mumbled.

            Zach giggled, “Frankie, we’re outside.”

            Frankie opened his eyes and raised his head to look around. “Why are we outside?” He turned and looked at Zach, and then gave a slow smile, “Oh, now I remember.”

            Zach blushed under Frankie’s gaze. “Frankie, stop!” he said with a grin, lowering his eyes.

            “How long have we been out here?” Frankie asked.

            “I don’t know; a couple of hours, maybe.”

            “Good Lord! We need to get inside before we die of hypothermia!”

            Zach slid out from under the comforter, “I’ll gather up our clothes, you stay put.”

            Frankie arranged the comforter around himself as he sat up to watch.

            Zach happened to look in Frankie’s direction and saw he was watching him. “Frankie! Stop looking at me!” he blushed.

            “Never!”

            “Well, okay, but keep in mind it is cold out here and shrinkage is a real thing!”

            Frankie barked out a laugh, and Zach joined him. Suddenly Zach stopped laughing and was staring at something in his hands.

            “Oh shit! Frankie, I’m sorry!”

            “What? What is it?” Frankie could not make out what was in Zach’s hands due to the poor lighting that reached the balcony from his living room.

            “It’s your shirt. All the buttons are gone. I guess I must have ripped it off of you.”

            Frankie pulled the comforter open and looked down at his chest, “Well, that explains the scratches,” he laughed. He got up and wrapped part of the comforter around Zach whose arms were now loaded down with their clothes. Frankie guided them up to the doorway.

            “I’m so sorry, Frankie. I didn’t even realize I had done that.” Zach said sorrowfully.

            The light from the living room was much brighter here. Frankie turned his head and examined Zach a bit better. “Don’t apologize. You should see what your neck looks like.”

            Zach stopped, “Why? What does it look like?”

            Frankie bit his lip and tilted his head from side to side, taking in the entire view of Zach’s neck, “Um, kind of like you were attacked by a honey badger.”

            “Are you shitting me?” Zach said.

            Frankie grinned and shook his head ‘no’. “I hope you packed a turtleneck, you’re going to need it.”

            They entered the living room and after being outside for so long, the lights seemed too bright. Frankie slipped out of the comforter and announced that he was getting them some wine. Zach continued on to the bedroom to drop their clothes and the comforter off. When Frankie entered the bedroom, Zach was nowhere in sight. He sat down the wine bottle and the glasses and went into the bathroom, where he found Zach examining his neck in the bathroom mirror.

            “Damn, Frankie! It really does look like a honey badger got me!” he said as he turned to face Frankie.

            “Yeah, I’m sorry about that…” Frankie started, but Zach held up his hand to cut Frankie off.

            “No. You can’t apologize for this. It’s too much. There is only one thing I can do,” he slowly began to walk towards Frankie, “and that is… to get revenge!” He grabbed Frankie and pushed him up against the wall, and bent his head and began to kiss, suck, and bite on Frankie’s neck.

            After a bit he raised his head, and smiled at Frankie, “There, we’re even now.”

            “No, not yet. I was really bad. Punish me some more,” Frankie said, throwing his head back, exposing more of his neck.

\--------------

            The next morning they took a train to Long Island to get Zach’s things from his aunt’s house. They stayed for lunch, and then caught the afternoon train back to the city. For the rest of the week, the only time they left the apartment was to go to the theater for Frankie’s show. Zach had a front row seat every night.

\---------------

            The alarm on Frankie’s cell phone chimed. He grabbed it off the bedside table and pushed the off button. The time was 5:30. For a second he frowned, trying to remember why he had set it so early. His heart sank when he remembered that Zach had a flight home that morning. He sighed and rolled over to wake up Zach. He wasn’t there.

            He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He called out, “Zach?” but didn’t get an answer. He called louder, but still didn’t hear Zach.

            He got out of bed and searched the apartment, calling for him. Every room was empty. He glanced at his front door and saw it was locked, but the chain lock was not on. It confirmed what he already knew. Zach had left while he was sleeping.

            He hurried back to the bedroom, threw himself on the bed, and picked up his cell phone. He selected Zach’s name and pressed the ‘call’ button.

            “Hey Frankie. Why are you awake?” Zach answered.

            “I set my alarm. The better question would be: why did you leave without me? I wanted to go to the airport with you!”

            Zach laughed, “No you didn’t! Airports suck. Besides, I didn’t want to wake you; I wanted to picture you curled up in bed asleep.”

            Frankie pouted, “I didn’t get a chance to give you one more kiss before you left.”

            “That was my plan. I kissed your cheek before I left, so you owe me one. Maybe we could figure out a way to spend some time together when school ends this semester for the holidays. I could come there, or you could fly to Florida, or we could meet in the middle somewhere.”

            Frankie rolled over onto his back, closed his eyes, and felt his muscles relax. He hadn’t even known how tense he was. He hadn’t wanted this to just be a fling, and now he knew that Zach didn’t either.

            “Frankie? Are you still there?” Zach asked.

            “Yes. I was checking my calendar, and it looks like I am scheduled to have some days off during that time,” he lied. “When you know what days you’re going to have free, let me know, and I work it out on my end.”

            “Okay, great!” Zach said, and Frankie could tell he was smiling by the sound of his voice. “Frankie? Oh, never mind. It was stupid.”

            Frankie gave a small laugh, “Well now you have to tell me!”

            Zach sighed, “Alright. I was going to ask you, no, forget it. I just can’t.”

            “Zach…just say it!”

            “Is this…I mean…are we like a ship now?” Zach asked, his words forced and rushed.

            Frankie placed his hand on his heart to calm the pounding. It wasn’t exactly what he had hoped to hear, but it was a step in the right direction. “Sure, if you want us to be.”

            “What would our ship’s name be, if you know, we were one?”

            “Zankie?” suggested Frankie.

            “Zankie. That’s so cute!”

            “We’re the cutest people on earth,” Frankie said with a laugh.

            There was a long pause in the conversation. It became longer and more uncomfortable with words that needed to be said. Frankie bit his lip to hold them back. If he said it, he was afraid that it would freak Zach out. Then, his mouth somehow developed a mind of its own, and he could hear himself saying it, but was powerless to stop the flow of words. “I’m kind of in love with you, it’s weird.”

            “Are you?” Zach’s voice sounded surprised.

            “Yeah, a little bit,” It was too late; he couldn’t take it back, so Frankie tried to downplay it.

            “I’m in love with you,” Zach said.

            “A little bit?” Frankie asked, giving Zach a chance to get out of it if he wanted.

            “I’m in love with you.”

            “Yeah?”

            “Without a doubt.” Zach said with assurance.

            “I have a few days off next week. Okay if I fly down to see you then?” Frankie asked.

            Zach sighed, “Yes! I don’t want to wait until semester break if we don’t have to. I hate flying. Did I ever mention that?”

            “Really? I love it! Just take a few deep breaths and relax. It will be fine.”

            Zach laughed and said, “Frankie! You said that to me before, quite recently.”

            “Did I lie?” Frankie asked.

            “Frankie, stop!” Zach giggled.

            After that, all the awkwardness was gone between them. They talked on the phone until it was time for Zach to board the plane. Once they hung up, Frankie decided to try to take a nap. He curled up on his side of the bed, and pulled the pillow that Zach had slept on into his arms. It smelled like Zach. Frankie buried his face into it as he fell asleep.

            That evening, when he arrived at the theater, there was a delivery waiting for him. A tiny canning jar filled with sunflowers.

 


	21. Chapter 21

            Every other week or so, for the rest of the winter, Frankie would fly to Florida to see Zach. Their time together was interrupted when Zach had to go to class or work, but they made the most of the little time they did have.

            Finally the term was over, and they made plans for the first week of summer break. Zach was going home for the summer, but that first week was going to be spent with Frankie at the Grande house.

            Frankie flew to Florida after his performance on Thursday evening. He didn’t have to be back until the next Friday. Zach picked him up at the airport and they went directly to the Grande’s.

            The next morning, when Zach woke up, Frankie was already awake. He was still lying in bed next to him, propped up on pillows, but he was drinking a cup of coffee and making notes on a pad. He looked over and saw that Zach was watching him. “Good morning, my darling!” he said with a smile, and bent over and kissed Zach’s forehead.

            “What are you working on?” Zach asked, looking at the pad.

            Frankie closed it and placed it on the bedside table. He removed a few of the pillows from behind his back, slid down into the bed a bit, and pulled Zach’s head onto his chest. He stroked Zach’s hair as he talked.

            “It was supposed to be a surprise, but since you caught me in the act, I’ll tell you. Remember when we went to Murphy Beach?”

            “Of course I remember that! That’s where our sea glass came from,” Zach said, gesturing to the two pieces that were now laying side-by-side on the bedside table.

            “You know, it wasn’t a date then,” Frankie said.

            “Yeah, I know that.”

            “Except,” Frankie paused, “It kind of was.”

            Zach looked up at him and laughed. “I changed my clothes a few times and messed with my hair for ages because I couldn’t get it right. I think, maybe to me, it always was a date. And you gave me this,” he said, indicating the necklace that he still wore.

            Frankie kissed his forehead again. “I thought we should go back there and have a picnic tonight, only this time, we know it really is a date. We can build a fire and make love under the moonlight.”

            Zach moaned, bent his head, and nipped at Frankie’s chest. “Hey! Can we have turkey sandwiches?” he asked suddenly.

            Frankie laughed. “We can have anything you want.”

            “Good. The last time we had Thanksgiving leftovers. It would be nice if we had some stuff like that again.”

            “Oh, look at you, being all romantic!” Frankie teased as he tickled down Zach’s back with his fingertips. “I’m using the same catering company, so I’m sure they can make the same kinds of things. I will need to get the call in soon though, if we expect them to have it ready by tonight.”

            “I’m going to shower. Want to join me? We could get some practice in before our date tonight,” Zach said with a grin.

            “I would love to, but if I don’t get on the phone and make some arrangements, our special picnic might end up being cheap, take-out food.”

            “You don’t know what you’re missing,” Zach teased as he got out of bed and headed to the bathroom.

            Frankie let his eyes travel all over Zach’s body, bit his lip, and sighed. “That’s the worst part of it; I do know what I’m missing.”

            Zach laughed, and walking out of the room, said over his shoulder, “I’m going to miss you, Babe!”

            “Rain check?” Frankie called.

            “Redeemable anytime,” Zach answered.

            Frankie pulled on a robe and went downstairs to check what supplies he had on hand, and then he called the catering company and discussed what he wanted for picnic. The caterer reassured Frankie that she could do it all, and that the timing would be no problem.

            After the arrangements had been made, Frankie started breakfast. He had given the week off to the housekeeper because he wanted the whole house to be empty, except for him and Zach. He turned the music up loud and danced while he cooked.

            He was pulling the toasted bagels out of the oven when Zach joined him in the kitchen. Zach turned the music off, and Frankie started to complain, but then he saw the worried look on Zach’s face.

            Frankie sat the tray of bagels down and asked, “Babe? What’s wrong?”

            Zach reached up and scratched at his collarbone. “I missed a call from my mom when I was in the shower. I called her back. Frankie, I’m so sorry…I’m going to have to cancel our picnic tonight.”

            “What?!! Why? Is somebody sick?” Frankie was concerned.

            “No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just,” Zach paused, searching for words, “My mom got the dates mixed up and thought I was going to be home tonight. She has planned a get-together and has invited some people to celebrate Shabbat. I guess she planned it ages ago, and I really have to be there. I don’t want to; I want to be with you, but…”

            Frankie could see the stress on Zach’s face and knew that he felt torn in two. Frankie wanted Zach to stay with him. All they had was this week, and they had been planning it for a while. If it were for any other reason, Frankie would have had a fit, but it was a religious reason. Frankie didn’t feel like he had the right to refuse Zach’s right to take part in a religious event with his family. “It’s okay, but we aren’t canceling our picnic, we are just postponing it. I assume you won’t be back until late in the evening tomorrow, so we can reschedule our picnic for Sunday.”

            Zach grabbed Frankie and pulled him into a bear hug. “Frankie, you’re the best. You really are! I’m sorry she planned this, and if there was any way I could get out of it, you know I would.”

            Frankie stroked Zach’s back. “I know. We’ll just make the rest of the time we have together that much more special, okay?”

            Zach buried his face in Frankie’s neck and nodded. “But what about you? What will you do while I am gone?”

            Frankie said, “I think I will spend the evening with Nonna. I’ll take her out to eat, maybe drop in the casino. She loves that. I’ll miss you, but I’ll be fine.”

            Later that afternoon, after Zach left, Frankie called Nonna. She told him that she had plans to spend the evening with some friends. She was willing to cancel, but Frankie wouldn’t hear of it. They made plans to have lunch the next day instead.

            Frankie was at loose ends; he had no idea of what to do with himself. He called the caterer and rescheduled, and he knew that he heard a trace of relief in her voice. He went for a swim in the pool and laid out in the sun for a while. He checked his private FaceBook page and saw that some of his friends were meeting up at a local club. He sent a private message and said he would meet up with them there later.

            He ate a light dinner then took a long shower. He took his time getting ready, but when he checked the time, he saw he still had a while to wait before meeting his friends. He decided he didn’t want to just sit around the house until it was time, so he got into the car and took a drive.

            He drove around for a while, and got bored. He decided he would just head over to the club, hoping that some of the others would be early too. He got stopped at a red light, a couple of miles away from the club. His car was the third in line. He happened to look to the left, across the street, on the opposite corner, just in time to see Zach walking up to a restaurant which specialized in kosher foods. Frankie had gone to a friend’s bar mitzvah there once. He remembered that the food was very good.

            As soon as the light changed, Frankie switched lanes amongst blaring horns, and turned right onto a side street. He drove about a block and turned right again. This was a quiet residential street. He pulled to the curb, opened his car door, leaned out, and was violently sick.

            He knew who she was. Zach had talked about her for years. She was the daughter of his mother’s friend. She was in his study group. And when he had just seen Zach, she was in his arms. His family, and presumably, also hers, had been smiling very happily at the couple. Her name was Ladonna. He had even seen pictures of her and Zach together, but he never suspected that they were anything more than friends. He was shaking all over and his teeth were chattering. He vomited on the street again.

            He pulled up the convertible’s top, and then rolled up all the windows. He drove home, keeping to side streets. He had to pull over a few more times to throw up before he finally reached his house. He stumbled up to his front door on legs that felt too weak to support his weight.

            Once inside, he locked the door behind him, grabbed a bottle of wine, and headed up to his bedroom. He texted his friends to tell them that something had come up and he couldn’t make it and then he curled up in his bed. The blankets and the wine helped stop his shaking.

            A few hours later, he was staring at the wall, remembering the identical smiles that Zach and Ladonna had shared. His phone rang and he looked at the screen and saw Zach’s picture. He sent an automatic, reject call, text, “Can’t talk now; I’ll call you back”. He thumbed open his settings and blocked Zach’s number. As soon as he pushed the block button, his chest loosened and he felt like he could breathe again. He looked at the pillow on the bed that still bore the imprint of Zach’s head from where he had slept the night before. Frankie picked up the pillow and threw it as hard as he could and it slammed against the wall and fell on the floor next to Zach’s suitcase.

            Seeing it there gave Frankie an idea. He searched the bedroom and bathroom, collecting Zach’s things, and putting them in the suitcase. After he was satisfied that no more items of Zach’s remained, he fastened the suitcase and took it downstairs. He placed it by the front door. He walked into the kitchen and made himself a sandwich.

\----------

            The next morning, he called the caterer and doubled the order; he requested that it be delivered to Zach’s house the following day. Later, Frankie gave Zach’s suitcase to a representative of a courier company to deliver to his house and loaded his own in his trunk. He called his nonna to cancel their lunch date, without going into details. He told her that something had come up and he had to return to New York. He locked the house up and hit the road.

            On his way out of town, he stopped at the Starbucks next to Krestler’s. It was going to be a long drive, after a sleepless night. He knew that the only way he could do it would be with the help of coffee and his Madonna CDs.

            He walked out of Starbucks and hurriedly put his sunglasses back on. The Florida sun was merciless this time of day, especially since his head was already pounding. He took a sip from his straw and noticed that they had written ‘Ricky’ on the cup instead of ‘Frankie’. “Honestly, how hard is it to get a name right?” he thought, scornfully. His thoughts were interrupted when someone crashed into him.

\----------

            Zach was worried. The night before, he had called Frankie and Frankie had texted back saying he would call him later, but he hadn’t. Zach had called off and on, all night long and Frankie’s phone would ring one time, and his call would be transferred to Frankie’s voice mail. He left message after message, but Frankie didn’t call him back. Early that morning, Zach had checked all of Frankie’s social media sites, hoping to get in touch with him that way, but Frankie hadn’t been on any of them—which was odd for him. Zach had calmed himself with the thought that it was probably just a problem with Frankie’s phone. He couldn’t bear to think that something had happened to Frankie.

            His family wasn’t extremely religious, but when they did observe, they went all the way. As a result, he would not be allowed to go back to Frankie’s house until the family shared the third meal. Luckily Ladonna and her family had other plans and would not be joining them. He would not have been able to keep up conversation while he was worried about Frankie.

            That morning, Peyton had been bitching about being bored. Zach remembered water balloon fights he used to have with his friends when he was Peyton’s age. He slipped out of the house and walked to Krestler’s to pick up balloons for Peyton and his friends. He was going to surprise him with them. During the walk to the store, Zach called Frankie’s phone four times, and each time was sent to voicemail.

            He hurried to the toy department and grabbed up four bags of balloons: One for Peyton and one each for his three friends. He started away from the area, and then turned back and grabbed another bag. He told himself it was just in case another friend joined Peyton, but down deep he knew it was so he could throw a couple of them himself.

            After paying for them, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and was calling Frankie’s number as soon as he walked out the door. As a result, he didn’t notice that at that exact moment another man was walking out of the Starbucks, and their paths collided.

            Zach looked up to apologize and saw that it was Frankie.

            “Frankie!” Zach exclaimed happily, “I think something is wrong with your phone! I’ve called you about a million times, but it just goes to voicemail.”

            Frankie turned his head slowly towards Zach. “My phone is working perfectly.”

            Zach was taken aback. It was Frankie standing in front of him; but at the same time, it wasn’t. He tried to search Frankie’s eyes but was met with his own panicky reflection in the mirrored sunglasses lenses. It was as if Frankie had become a pod person, like in the old movie, “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”, there was no trace of emotion to be found, except for his lips. They were tight and clamped together.

            “Frankie? What is it? What’s wrong?” Zach said. His stomach felt as if a giant rat had somehow made its way inside, and was scurrying around in there.

            “I saw you.” Frankie said in a dead voice. “Last night. How long, Zach?”

            The scurrying rat that was inside Zach’s stomach suddenly became a gigantic colony of them, all seeming to run in different directions. He was tempted to lie, but Frankie had always been able to tell when he was lying. It would just make the situation worse, if that was possible. “About a year and a half.”

            “Lovely.” Frankie gave a nod of his head, “So, were you planning on asking me to be your best man at the wedding?”

            “Frankie, don’t!” Zach stepped forward, but Frankie held up a warning hand.

            “Ironic that it is here, but I guess it is fitting. We met here, you know?”

            Zach shook his head, “No, it was at the park. I stole Ariana’s ball at her birthday party.”

            “No, it was here. Years before that. You were about two-years-old at the time. That’s why you don’t remember. But I do. I think the destiny wheel has made a full turn now. See, for a long time now I have come to believe that you and I are on that ‘hello-goodbye wheel of destiny’. We once had a debate about free will vs. destiny and we both agreed that free will wins. So, based on that…I exercise my free will and I am getting off of it.”

            “No! Don’t say that!” Zach reached out and grabbed Frankie’s arm.

            Frankie yanked his arm out of Zach’s hold. “Good bye, Zach,” he said, and turned and walked toward his car.

            The phone in Zach’s hand gave out a ring, startling him. By reflex, he looked down at the screen. It showed Ladonna’s picture. He looked over to see Frankie’s retreating back, and then down at his phone. “One forever, one for never,” he thought.

\----------

            Now that Frankie had let some of the anger out, tsunami-sized waves of pain were slamming into him. He fought them down. He would not give into them. He was going to exit this with his dignity intact.

            As he walked through Krestler’s parking lot, battling his feelings, he switched the coffee from his right hand to his left, and began fishing in his pocket for his car keys. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a large person slammed into Frankie’s back. His keys flew in one direction and his coffee in another as he tried mightily to keep his balance. Huge arms caught him and pulled him back, just as he was about to kiss the pavement.

            “Sorry! I’m so sorry! I was running too fast and couldn’t stop,” Zach whispered into Frankie’s neck, as he held Frankie’s back close against his chest.

            “Get your fucking hands off me!” Frankie snapped.

            Zach jumped away from him. “You can’t do this, Frankie! You can’t!”

            Frankie picked up his keys, gave a rueful look at the splat of coffee on the asphalt and said, “Watch me!” He plunged his hand back into his pocket and pulled out his piece of sea glass. “The very first thing I’m going to do is toss this thing back into the ocean!”

            Zach pulled his out of his own pocket. “Take this one too, then. They came from the same object, traveled for ages together, and ended up under the same scallop shell. They belong together, so when you throw yours in, throw mine too.” He laid it down next to Frankie, and Frankie picked it up and placed it in his pocket with his own piece.

            “I have your number blocked on my phone, and I am going to block you from all my social media accounts. From this moment on, don’t try to contact me again.” Frankie turned back to his car, but stopped, “And another thing…don’t send me any more sunflowers!”

            Zach’s jaw dropped. “You knew it was me?”

            “Of course I did. That’s why I have that collection of tiny canning jars in my bedroom in New York. I saved them after the flowers died. I mean, look at me! Do I look like the kind of person that collects canning jars?!!! Which, by the way, they are going into the trash as soon as I get back to my apartment.”

            “Frankie, don’t do this! I love you, not her!”

            “Well, then it must really suck to be you right now.”

            “Since you are getting rid of everything, give me the memory of the first time we met.”

            Frankie sighed. “I don’t owe you anything, but if you want it, you can have it. I just wish by giving it to you, it would remove it from me. I was about ten-years-old, and I was in the toy department. You got away from your mother somehow; I think she was trying on shoes. Anyway, I didn’t see you coming and you plowed into me and knocked me down. You poked me in the face and told me I was pretty…”

            Zach said, “Even then,” and shook his head.

            “You wanted me to carry you, so I picked you up to take you to security, and your mom saw me with you. She blamed me for it because I had taps on my shoes…”

            “Taps?” Zach questioned, and he broke out in chills. “I have always loved the sound of tap shoes. They make me feel happy.”

            “So, she probably had a point then. You came to me because you heard the taps.”

            “Or else I love the sound of taps because you were wearing them.”

            “Who knows? Anyway that was it.” Frankie shrugged and opened his car door.

            “I’m going to exercise my free will and stay on this destiny wheel!” Zach declared.

            Frankie got into his car, and turned the key. “Then you are going to be riding it alone.” He backed out of the parking spot, and headed to the exit of the parking lot.

            Zach stood in the empty spot, watching Frankie drive out of his life. “This is not the final good bye. It can’t be.” He whispered into the wind.


	22. Chapter 22

            Frankie sat, waiting nervously for the results of the silent auction. He had left the stage years ago and had become a producer/director; coming back was a bit frightening. He probably wouldn’t have even thought about returning, but he had been offered the role of Franz in the last run of “Rock of Ages”. For years, Franz had been one of the characters he most wanted to play. He couldn’t refuse.

            This charity event was going to mark his return to the stage; a practice run. He was a huge supporter of the charity; it combined two things he loved: Helping children and Broadway. After all this time off-stage though, he was worried that he wouldn’t receive bidders. If that happened, he was afraid he would die of embarrassment.

            The charity had organized a silent auction where the public could bid on their favorite Broadway performer. The winners got to pick what song/dance/act the performer was to do, plus they got to have dinner afterwards with the performer. The bidding had began three weeks ago, and had ended a few hours earlier. The performers up for bid were all sitting together, waiting for the results. Everyone else seemed to be in high spirits, but Frankie was too nervous to join in with the fun.

            Finally the outer door opened and David Green, the coordinator of the event, entered. He carried a clipboard in one hand. His assistant, Josh, followed behind, carrying a stack of envelopes. Both men were wearing huge smiles.

            “Good evening!” David spoke to the group, “I would like to thank you all for agreeing to help support our cause by donating your time and your talents. I would also like to announce that this has been our most profitable fundraiser to date! When we read off your name, please come and get your envelope.”

            Frankie waited impatiently to hear his name called. His was the last one called, but he sighed in relief when he heard it. He knew at least one person had bid on him.

            He walked up front to get his envelope, and David Green said with a laugh, “Hey Frankie, guess who generated a bidding war? The battle lasted until the last second of the auction. And as a result, you bagged the highest bid of the auction! Congratulations!” And the room erupted in applause at the news.

            Frankie was at a loss for words. He knew, in the past, he had some faithful fans, but he was surprised they were still around. Surprised, relieved, and so grateful. He picked up his envelope with a smile and a little bow to the crowd.

            When he returned to his seat, he opened the envelope and removed the contents. He read that his bidder wanted him to sing. He smiled when he saw the title to the song. He knew it; he had sung it before. He relaxed; he knew he could do it.

            That next week flew by. Costume fittings and rehearsals, followed by late dinners and drinks with the other performers. For the last five years his life had been consumed by budgets and dealing with vendors and venues. He had forgotten what it was like to have fun; but it was all coming back to him.

            The night of the show arrived, and Frankie was filled with excitement. He wasn’t to be onstage until near the end of the show, but he got ready early so he could watch it from the wings.

            Finally it was his turn. When his name was called, he walked out to thunderous applause. His heart was again filled with love and gratitude for those fans who had never given up on him, even though he had given up on himself. The music started and he began to sing the song that had been assigned to him by his winning bidder: “I Knew I Loved You”, and he felt all the same emotions as he had when he performed it before, at his last recital before graduating high school. Except at that time, he had felt like it was an ending; this time it felt like a beginning.

            When the song ended, he left the stage with the sound of applause ringing in his ears. He was handed an envelope by the stage hand. He had seen all the others receive theirs, so he knew that inside would be the name of his winning bidder, and the name of the restaurant to meet. He hurriedly opened his envelope only to find that the card inside just said, “Winning Bidder: #49.” No name, no directions. Convinced that there must be some mistake, he went to find David Green.

            “Huh. That’s weird. I’m sorry, Frankie, I don’t have any other information to give you. The auction service handled all this stuff. I guess your bidder must have wanted to remain anonymous,” David said, handing Frankie back the card.

            Frankie walked to his dressing room, still puzzling over the card. He had already removed his stage make-up and was getting dressed when Shawn came to his dressing room. “Frankie, I was up front talking to Marlene, you know—the cute stagehand? Anyway, a limo just pulled up and the driver says he was sent here to pick you up by your auction winner.”

            “Oh really?!!! Sounds like someone wants to impress me,” Frankie said, and then laughed, “It’s working!”

            “I’m not impressed. I think it’s creepy. First the person doesn’t give a name or dinner instructions, but then sends a limo to pick you up. It sounds like a scene from an old horror movie! If we were watching this on TV, you would be the first one screaming at the person not to get in the limo.”

            Frankie was pulling his dinner jacket on. “This isn’t a horror movie; it’s real life,” he said, laughing at Shawn’s concern. “I’m under obligation to go, so of course I’m going to get in the limo. Besides, who knows who I might meet? It could be my Mr. Right.”

            Shawn scoffed. “Even if he was, you would find something wrong with him. You compare every guy you meet to…”

            “Stop!” Frankie demanded. “Don’t bring him up. Tonight has been a great night, and I don’t want to think about all that hurtful shit anymore.”

            “Fine. But I’m going to walk out there with you and ask the driver some questions. I want to know where he is taking you. I have my phone with me; if anything seems off, call me.” Shawn instructed.

            “Yes, Mother!” Frankie said, rolling his eyes, and then he laughed and jabbed Shawn in the ribs.

            When they stepped outside, Frankie immediately checked the license plate of the limo. “See, it’s a professional limo service, not some henchman for a maniac.”

            The driver got out of the car and approached them. “Hello, Mr. Grande. My name is Robert and I will be your driver this evening.”

            Frankie walked towards the rear door that Robert had opened for him.

            “Wait a minute!” Shawn demanded. “Where are you taking him?”

            “I have been instructed to take Mr. Grande to Rose Bay Restaurant, where he is to meet with his winning bidder.”

            “Oh! Rose Bay!” Frankie exclaimed. “That’s my favorite restaurant!”

            “Who hired you?” Shawn asked.

            “I’m sorry; I’m not at liberty to say. I can assure you that Mr. Grande is in no danger.” Robert answered.

            “Come on, Shawn! Stop worrying. Whoever it is must know me to pick that restaurant.” Frankie said from inside the car.

            Shawn gave an exacerbated sigh. “Fine, but I still don’t like it.”

            Frankie laughed, “Duly noted. Robert, I am ready to go now.”

            “Very good, sir,” Robert said as he shut the door. “We’ll just be on our way then.” He said, walking by Shawn and giving him a pointed look.

            Traffic was light so it didn’t take long to get to Rose Bay Restaurant. Even though Frankie had assured Shawn that he was okay with the arrangements that had been made, truthfully, he was a bit nervous. Most of his fans were lovely people, but a few of them were questionable. As Robert opened his door, he realized it was too late to back out. He took a deep breath and walked to the entrance; grateful that at least it was a public place, which should make it safe enough.

            He was met at the door by the maître d'. “Good evening, Mr. Grande! Lovely to see you again! Your host for the evening has already arrived. If you would care to follow me, sir.” He led Frankie to a door which opened up to a private room on the balcony.

            As he entered, his eyes were immediately drawn to the flickering candles on the table. Flanking them on each side were two little canning jars filled with sunflowers. Frankie’s heart dropped to his stomach. He knew it could not be a coincidence. He was tempted to turn around and walk out the door, when he saw a movement from the corner of his eye.

            “The view here is beautiful, but not as nice as the one from your balcony,” the man said without turning around.

            Frankie scanned him quickly. He had changed a bit over the past five years. He had gotten broader in the shoulder and his hair was shorter. He was wearing a suit that had obviously been tailored to fit him. Frankie remembered the only other time he had seen Zach in a suit was one he had borrowed to attend Grandpa Grande’s service. He quickly squelched that memory.

            Zach turned to face him. “Hello Frankie. It’s been a while.”

            “I guess you must be ‘Winning Bidder #49’.”

            “Yeah, that’s me. Look, I know I am the last person you expected to see. I just wanted to hear you sing that song. I was going to skip the dinner part of it, but then…I don’t know…I just didn’t want you to be left standing there while everybody else had dinner dates. I thought it would embarrass you.”

            Frankie gave a slight nod. It was true; if he had been left behind, he would have been mortified.

            “I ordered some wine,” Zach said, gesturing to the table, “It used to be your favorite.”

            Frankie walked to the table, picked up the bottle and read the label. “Yeah, it still is.” He poured himself a glass and sat the bottle back down. He sat down on the chair nearest him.

            Zach approached the opposite end of the table. He picked up the wine, “Do you mind?” he asked.

            Frankie waved his hand, so Zach poured a glass for himself and sat down.

            “I admit I am curious. Why did you choose that song?” Frankie said after a long spell of silence.

            “It was the first song I ever heard you sing. I have videos of all your other songs, but not of that one; now I do.”

            “Wait,” Frankie said, placing his glass down, “You filmed it? There are signs up all over the theater, you aren’t allowed to film performances!”

            “Are you going to have me arrested?” Zach asked with a smirk, “If so, you should know that I had two accomplices filming too. I wanted to be certain that I had it.”

            Frankie just shook his head and drank the wine.

            “I never told you about that night, did I?” Zach asked.

            Frankie shrugged. “There wasn’t much to tell, was there?”

            Zach laughed. “Actually, it’s a long story, but I’ll cut to the chase. I faked sick and snuck out of the house to go there that night.”

            Frankie sat his glass down, aghast. “You were just a little boy! Why did you do something so stupid and dangerous?!!”

            “It was your last performance there; I had to see it. When I got to the school, I realized you had to have a ticket to get in, and I didn’t have one, or the money to buy one at the door.”

            “What did you do?” Frankie asked, interested in spite of himself.

            “There was this family that had a whole lot of kids, and the mom took a couple of them to the back, and the dad took the rest of them into the theater. I followed the dad and kids in, and the ticket-taker must have thought I belonged with them because they let me through.”

            “Did anything happen? Did you get home okay?” Frankie asked, alarm in his voice.

            “No, Frankie; I died. This is my ghost sitting here.” Zach said and then laughed, “Yeah, I didn’t have any problems. I didn’t even get caught. It might have been better if I would have been though, because that was just the start of my sneaking out of the house. I admit it, I was a crazy kid, but most are I guess.”

            “Speaking of kids, how many do you have now?” Frankie took a big drink of wine to prepare for the answer.

            “Me? None. No wife, no kids. It’s just me.”

            “But, I assumed you and Ladonna…”

            “Everybody did. That was my problem. I was just friends with her, but everybody began assuming things, even she did. By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late. I didn’t know how to get out of it. Come on, Frankie! Think about it. You know that I wasn’t really with her that way.”

            “Now how in the hell would I know that? When I saw the two of you together, you certainly looked like a couple!” The long-suppressed anger and hurt of that night came alive in his chest.

            Zach looked at him with exacerbation. “I’ll give you a hint then, shall I? Honey badger. Does that ring any bells?”

            Frankie leaned back in his chair in shock, “What? What does that have anything…”

            “Anything to do with it?” Zach interrupted. “It has everything to do with it! After that first week of having to wear turtlenecks in the Florida heat, you gave my neck a rest, but nowhere else. You and I got together like every two weeks. Don’t you think she would have noticed marks on me?”

            “But…if that’s the case…why did you leave me to go be with her that night?”

            Zach sighed, “Honestly Frankie, I felt like I had to. I probably would have married her if it had come down to it.”

            Frankie felt his anger surge back with a vengeance. “Then why didn’t you?” he snapped.

            Zach gave a humorless chuckle and took a drink of his wine. “Your picnic basket arrived at my house. That was a very effective ‘fuck you’, by the way.”

            “Good to know that my gift was received in the manner in which it was intended.” Frankie said with a toss of his head.

            “Yeah, message received, loud and clear. Anyway, I gave the food to my family and I kept the wine.” He stopped and refilled his glass, and looked at the label, “Same maker and vintage as this one. I got drunk and tried to contact you. You already had me blocked from calling and texting you, so I tried your social media accounts. I was blocked from all of them. I got upset…well, pissed is more like it, and so I called Ladonna. I told her that I wasn’t in love with her and I wasn’t going to marry her. Funny thing, she told me she didn’t love me either. She was in love with a guy named Matthew. She was afraid her parents would object because he wasn’t Jewish. After she told me about the guy she was in love with; I told her about that guy that I was in love with.” He raised his wine glass as a salute in Frankie’s direction. “She was really cool about it. She even offered to call you and tell you the truth, but I wouldn’t let her. See, I kept thinking that you would change your mind and unblock me. Didn’t happen.” He sighed, and then continued. “We cooked up this scheme together. She told everybody we knew that I was a dog and was running around behind her back. She acted all broken-hearted over it. It worked. Our parents stopped being friends, and her folks were happy for her when she brought Matthew around a few months later. As for me, I was considered taboo amongst all the other daughters of my parent’s friends, so I was finally free of that mess.”

            “So, I guess everybody was a winner,” Frankie said sarcastically. “Or almost everybody, at least.”

            “I get it, Frankie. I was a weak-ass loser. Every day I pay for it.”

            “Speaking of paying,” Frankie said, to veer the conversation away from the direction it seemed to be headed, “How did you end up so rich? I heard something about you winning a bidding war for me.”

            Zach laughed. “I’m not so rich. After winning that bid, I have resigned myself to the idea of drinking tap water and eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the dark for the next three months. Unless I steal these candles, which I am seriously considering.” He shot Frankie a side-eye and grinned.

            For a nanosecond, Frankie almost returned the grin. He had to remind himself that he hated Zach. “Okay, let me rephrase that. What do you do for a living?”

            “Real Estate. I know, weird choice for me, especially considering how much I hate Monopoly. It’s another long story, but after you left, I barely managed to graduate college. For the next year or so, I worked at a part-time job, making just enough to keep me in ‘party supplies’. I lived with my folks, back in my old room. The only times I left it was to go to work or to go out to party. My uncle is pretty big in real estate, and his daughter, my cousin Amanda, is following in his footsteps. One day she came into my room, dropped off some textbooks, and told me she had signed me up for a course and I either had to take it, or pay her back. I took the course. Turned out not to be as boring as I thought it would be. When I completed the course, she hired me as a member of her staff. I’m doing pretty well there. I even have a few clients that split their time between Florida and NYC, so I fly here a lot. Still hate flying though.”

            Frankie almost choked on the wine. “Here? You come here a lot?” he asked in a strained voice.

            Zach grinned, “Relax Frankie. When I am here, I’m working. I’m not stalking you.” He paused. “Okay, I did see you once. It was in Central Park. You were riding bikes with some guy. I didn’t go there looking for you…we just happened to be at the same place, at the same time.”

            Frankie nodded. He massaged his hands, which had gone numb. Finally he spoke. “So, how did you hear about the auction?”

            “What?” Zach asked, surprise was written all over his face.

            Frankie peered directly into Zach’s eyes, “You heard me.”

            “I…I don’t really remember now. I guess I saw it online someplace.” Zach stammered.

            “Hmm. So, do you follow many Broadway performers? Or maybe you follow some Broadway sites? That is the only way you could have heard about it. This charity has a very small budget for advertising so they left it up to us to get the word out.”

            Zach looked unblinkingly into Frankie’s eyes, “I don’t remember.”

            Frankie nodded, “Okay. So tell me, do I follow you back on your side account?”

            “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Zach said.

            “You know, you’re giving me a lot to work with here. Somehow you knew about an auction that only a Broadway fan would know about, and also, you haven’t asked me a thing about what is going on in my life. This leaves me with two possible conclusions: either you don’t care, or you already know.” Frankie finished by leaning back in his seat and taking a sip from his glass.

            Zach sat quietly for a while, looking at his fingernails. He shifted in his seat. “That’s not stalking, if that’s what you’re implying. If you post something publicly, then everybody can read it. And since you mention it, I do have a question.” He looked at Frankie, “When you threw the pieces of sea glass into the ocean, did you throw them in together?”

            Frankie smirked. “One in Florida and one in New Jersey. I guess you could say they are together since they are in the same ocean.”

            Zach flinched as if he had been slapped. He checked his watch and said, “It’s getting late. I’ve hired the limo for you for the night. Feel free to invite a guest to join you for dinner, it’s on me.”

            Frankie was shocked. “You mean you’re not going to eat dinner with me?”

            “Nah. If you eat while you are stressed, you will be up all night with acid reflux. Besides, like I told you, I bid on you because I wanted to film you singing that song; I never had any intention of forcing you into spending time with me. Before I leave though, will you do me a favor?” He pulled out a folded program from the event out of his pocket along with an ink pen, “Will you give me your autograph?”

            Frankie nodded, and took the items from Zach. He wrote on the program and then handed them back. He got up and moved to the railing, looking out at the view. “You know, you’re right. This is a beautiful view, but the one from my balcony is better.”

            “Frankie? I’m going to tell you one more story before I leave. The day that the auction was announced, my mother dropped by my apartment, unexpectedly. I had just read about it, and I was upset because anybody in the world could win the prize of spending the evening with you—anybody but me. I was kind of a wreck when she came in. So, I told her. I told her everything. She’s the one who encouraged me to bid on you, and she came over and spent the last hour of the auction with me during that insane bidding war. She even offered to loan me money if I needed it.” He gave a little laugh, “Who knew, right?” He sighed, “’Sorry’ is a cheap, easy word to throw out there, but I really am sorry, Frankie, with every cell in my body, I’m sorry. I want you to know that I am still here, on this destiny wheel, hoping one day you’ll get back on it. I love you, always have and I always will. And thanks for the song and the autograph.” He slid the pen into his pocket, and folded the program to join it. He looked at it, expecting to see the familiar ‘FJG’ scrawled on it, but instead saw the words: ‘ _I lied’_. Zach frowned and looked at Frankie. “I don’t get it. What did you lie about?”

            Frankie walked back to the table and slid his hand into his front pocket. He pulled it out, opened his hand, and laid the two pieces of sea glass down on it.

            Zach looked down at them in awe. “You kept them! And…wait!” He looked up at Frankie, “You still carry them around?”

            Frankie nodded, “Always.”

            Zach looked back down at the sea glass, and felt Frankie gently yank his hair. He looked up to see tears pooling in Frankie’s eyes.

            “Hello,” Frankie whispered.

            Zach grabbed Frankie and pulled him close. He buried his face in Frankie’s neck. “No more good-byes? Please, no more good-byes!”

            Frankie wrapped his arms around Zach and laid his head on Zach’s shoulder. “No more good-byes.”

            After a long time, Frankie said, “You told me that I could choose anyone I wanted to have dinner with. I choose you.” Zach didn’t answer, he just squeezed Frankie harder. Frankie continued, “But not here. Let’s go get in that limo you rented and have Robert drive us to my place. We’ll order a pizza, and eat it on my balcony since the view is better, okay?”

            Zach couldn’t speak, so he just nodded.

            Frankie freed a hand and reached down and picked up a couple of the linen napkins from the table. He handed one to Zach and used one himself to wipe away the tears. Frankie pulled out his phone. “I want to take a selfie of us and send it to Shawn. He was worried about me going to meet a stranger. I want him to know I’m okay.”

            Zach nodded, and then looked up at Frankie and laughed. “We look like hell. He is going to think we are at each other’s throats or something.”

            Frankie laughed, “No he won’t. Cuddle with me!”

            They wrapped their arms around each other tight, and Frankie pointed the camera at them and took a picture. He added the text, _“All is right in the world #ZankieAF”_ and sent it to Shawn.

            Zach leaned in for a kiss; Frankie backed away and said, “No!” Zach looked hurt, and Frankie laughed. “Zach! If we start kissing, we will never leave this room. Let’s go home, and once we start, we won’t have to stop.”

            Zach put his face in Frankie’s neck again, and moaned. Then he nodded. “Can we get the hell out of here then?”

            Frankie giggled, “Yes, please! Oh…wait. Did you buy these sunflowers?”

            Zach raised his head. “Yeah. All they put on the tables here are roses. I brought those with me.”

            “Then they are coming with us.” Frankie moved away to pick them up.

            “I guess you could use the jars to start a new collection,” Zach suggested with a grin.

            “No, I’ll just add these to the collection I already have. I never could bring myself to throw them away.” Frankie smiled and gave a little shrug.

            They heard Frankie’s phone sound a text alert. Frankie opened his phone and read the message. He handed Zach his phone with a grin. Zach read the message from Shawn, _“Thank God!!! It’s about time!”_

            Frankie picked up the sea glass and handed Zach a piece, “I believe this belongs to you.”

            Zach took it, kissed it, and put it in his pocket. He grabbed the jars of sunflowers from Frankie’s hand. “I’m ready, are you?”

            Frankie nodded and they headed to the door. “You know, we were wrong about something.”

            “What?”

            “Free will is nothing. Destiny wins.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to thank everyone who took the time to read this, my first attempt at writing a fanfic. I sincerely appreciate you all!
> 
> Big shout-out to my twitter twin who constantly threatened, uhh...I mean encouraged, me to not give up.


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